The Northern Grand Duke’s Hamster

“It’s obesity, Your Highness.”

‘What?’

“What?”
Oh, I thought I was finally able to talk, but it was Kyle’s voice.

The doctor who noticed the anger in the Grand Duke’s voice trembled slightly.

“W-well, that, Your Highness’ pet hamster, ah- I mean magical beast has no appetite and is inactive, so I thought that m-maybe…”

It was a breathtaking honorific, I’m the only one in this world to be treated this way, by the one and only veterinarian here.

Indeed, since this hamster is cherished by the Grand Duke, one can’t carelessly say brash words like 'this rat’ in front of His Highness, for fear of losing their voice.

It’s absurd, but what can I do? They must be aggrieved to be born into a world where their status is less than a different species.

“It is a little difficult to determine if it has a disease because no trauma nor abnormal symptoms have been found. There was also no pain when I pressed its stomach. It’s just when I pressed it carefully-”

“When you pressed it?”

Kyle urged him to speak with a serious look. The veterinarian shivered and continued as if he had been threatened with murder.

“….. It was j-just belly fat!”

I must’ve gained weight.

I slumped back down and looked at the two humans who were staring at me alternately. Why? What are you looking at? Is this your first time seeing a fat hamster? It’s probably your first time, look at you two, you practically can’t take your eyes off of me.

Of course, I knew why I gained weight. I ate too much during the morning. The food here in the North is pretty good, no scratch that, human food is just delicious compared to dried pollack. It’s worth living as a human even if I was fed rice paste every day.

[ (^(00)^) ]

’… Did I eat that much?’

This morning Sen introduced me to the work at the kitchen. The servants were supposed to make fried sandwiches to distribute them to the refugees, but they were afraid of splashing oil, so I decided to help them out.

Who am I? I’m none other than the self-righteous man who worked at a fast-food franchise in Gangnam for four years, to earn tuition for college.

My amazing frying skills can fry any dish, you name it!

While frying, I took a bite of a sandwich to avoid the eyes of the people staring at me. Then I also took a bite of twisted breadstick, another bite of a sandwich, another bite of breadstick. One bite of donut, a bite of fried meat….. I had 10 bites. How many times did I repeat those 10 bites again?

Anyway, I ate my fill for 30 minutes. Kyle doesn’t even give me fried eggs that hamsters can eat, why should I miss out on my only chance to eat high calorie foods.

I felt like a resident employee doing “bad things” prohibited to the newcomers, it felt good. Thanks to this skill, I have a chance to eat rice balls again. As expected, even if you roll in dog poop field, living is still better than dying, well living as a human, I mean.

When I left the kitchen patting my stomach, I heard the servants say how the food that came out of the kitchen seemed to be less than they thought. Ah! I don’t care, I put an iron plate on my face and said I don’t know why that happened. It seems like it was so cold in the North, that my face thickened.

Well, that’s basically a summary of what happened in the morning.

“But Cashew Nut hasn’t eaten since this morning!”

Kyle said panicking.

Of course, I didn’t. If you were me and you just ate a box of fried food, would you still be blinded to eat nuts all day? You eat it.

But this morning, I didn’t just stuff my stomach, okay? In order to prevent the chandelier incident, I tried to tell some servants and attendants to inspect the central chandelier at the banquet hall.

The problem was that my identity was ambiguous, and although my words were convincing, why would they believe someone who’s unfamiliar and kept bothering them to check the chandelier.

The last servant I talked to just gave me a basket full of bread and said, “Don’t insult the castle that is providing for you, just fry the food properly, so you don’t get in trouble.”

Anyway, after eating so much in the morning, Kyle was probably worried seeing me sleep all throughout the day and just waking up in the afternoon. So, he explained to the doctor, how I had no appetite and no energy.

“Look again, are you sure you didn’t miss anything when checking its stomach?”

The veterinarian touched my stomach again out of courtesy and pressed down, his voice shook as he said.

“It’s really just fat…”

Silence filled the room.

All right, take your hands off of me, you’re trembling so much you even shook my whole body.

“I see…”

Kyle spoke in an unconvinced tone. I slipped away from the doctor’s palm and went to hug his (Kyle’s) elbow.

Take it easy, okay? If the vet said I gained weight, then I gained it. Will a hamster die just because he’s fat? I’ll even eat a nut or two during dinner, alright?

Kyle stroked by back with his fingertips perhaps because my silent consolation was too strong.

“….. How can you be obese when you’re so cute.”

Ah, this is shocking. It seems like there’s no logic left in the North.

The vet seemed to think the same thing as I did, but he just kept quiet and bowed his head. That’s right, there’s only one life and we should cherish it.

“It seems like you need more care from now on.”

“Yes, Your Highness, periodic care is very important. You should let it exercise as much as possible and avoid giving it a fatty diet. It would be helpful to feed it boiled vegetables. And don’t worry too much, isn’t the magical beast, still in its growing period?”

I’m sorry to say this, but my growth period ended 10 years ago…

“Probably after the growth period, the problem will be solved little by little as the body grows. So don’t worry too much, Your Highness.”

“Alright.”

“Are bodies of magical beasts usually this big?”

“No, it’s larger.”

“Then, Your Highness, you may need to change things like the wheel, the size of the room, maybe even the house itself.”

Kyle replied without hesitation.

“I can change it a hundred times if needed.”

It’s a tearful love for a hamster. Why are you spending so much money and love on me.

“By the way, you said periodic care.”

Kyle pondered for a moment and said,

“I think your skills are good, and since this magical beast will continue to grow, why don’t you settle here in the North.”

“Here, in the North…”

The veterinarian seemed to have doubted his ears.

It’s normal, of course. From the moment he checked on me, Kyle has worn a serious look, he probably can’t understand why Kyle wants him to stay.

But maybe it’s not a bad suggestion seeing as his face is slightly flushed. Is this guy in the original novel?

[ Veterinarian. Approximately 15 days until the estimated time fo death. ]

Death again? 

'Tell me how he’s supposed to die.’

[ Belial’s mother, the current empress, Serena Minehardt’s old cat fell ill, and this veterinarian wasn’t able to treat it, so he was executed immediately after the cat’s death. ]

This reason… Is too absurd…

Is a veterinarian a god?

Isn’t it common for pets to die of old age? You’re killing a man because he couldn’t make your cat immortal? She’s an empress with no brain ah.

It seems like he used to work in the palace and realized the cat’s situation and ran here to the North by joining the procession in disguise of taking care of horses.

If he had a reason to settle down in the North, it would be a great opportunity to save his life. While Kyle was busy paying, the vet’s face was turning brighter and brighter.

“Don’t worry about money, I’ll pay you for treating him.”

Money doesn’t matter! Promise him you won’t kill him even if this hamster dies, you tactless creature!

“Is there anything else you want? I’ll negotiate with His Majesty (Belial) if you still have any concerns.”

The veterinarian seemed to wonder whether it’s better to stay with the royal family or here. Although they seemed like they would both do the same thing, an obese hamster’s life expectancy seems to be longer than an old cat’s.

“No! I’m honored to stay and be at your service, Your Highness.”

There you go!

I went to the edge of Kyle’s hand and patted the doctor’s arm as a compliment. You made the right decision. This is the way to lengthen your life. 

[ The person who was fated to die is no longer in danger. ]

[ Miracle value has risen! ]

[ Current miracle value is 11.0% ]

Wow, it went up 3% in an instant. Saving people’s live is indeed the right way.

My eyes brightened at the realization, if saving a no name character gives 3%, then how much more would I get if I save Kyle!

Add a zero next to the 3 next time, System. Write it big when the time comes.

[ The duration of “Summon” has been increased to 1 hour. ]

The skill which originally lasted for 30 minutes only has been increased twice. It’s probably due to the miracle value exceeding 10%.

Alright! I’ll get up earlier and eat 30 more fried- ah….. No let’s stop eating that. At this rate, I might really forget how to walk.

The hamster’s body was too honest. You gain as much weight as you eat. It’s fortunate that my human body still stays the same.

“Cashew Nut.”

After extending his life expectancy, the vet now has a bright face. However, Kyle still looked gloomy, as if he heard my life was ending soon.

Hey, you punk. It’s you who has a month to live, you shouldn’t be worrying about me. Technically, I- I’m already dead. I already died so.

….. I need to raise the miracle value, so that both you and I could survive. I have no choice but to trust the system.

“Cashew Nut, you must have heard what the doctor said earlier right?”

Usually, hamsters don’t understand people, Your Highness.

“Occasional exercise can lengthen your lifespan.”

Kyle put me back in the house and said solemnly.

Ahhh, I don’t know. I don’t understand. What exercise? I already ran a thousand laps on the wheel, I think that’s enough exercise for my whole life. If you want to exercise so bad, do it yourself!

“Hurry up, don’t you like this?”

He put the wheel in front of me and began spinning it with his finger while looking at me anxiously. The wheel turned like a Ferris wheel, and it improved my mood. Oh, he’s actually good at acting cute, turn it around more!

“Cashew Nut, please.”

― Eek! [ Don’t wanna! ]

“Just one turn, okay?”

― Squeak! [ You do it yourself! ]

It’s annoying, I don’t want to exercise. After you sigh, everything you eat is already digested. Didn’t you think I’m cute as a chubby hamster? Just accept it!

'By the way, what should I do with Belial.’

Ever since that day they almost fought, Belial hasn’t visited the study once.

It’s not hard to find out which room he’s staying, but I can’t get in as a servant. It’s no use even if “Summon” lasted for ten hours instead of an hour.

’….. How to prevent the chandelier falling during the banquet.’

Ah, how am I supposed to do this.

I can already feel a headache coming. Mr. System, isn’t this too difficult for a hamster to accomplish. Please change the difficulty to beginner mode!

[ _(:3」∠)_  ]

You’re just lying down? Fine I’ll just lie down as well.

I fell asleep drowsily after watching Kyle acting cute for a long time.

T/N: I’m sorry if the quality of the translation this time is a bit lacking, I’m currently sick, but since I already started translating this chapter, I thought I should just finish it before I let myself rest. Once again tysm to everyone who donated, it is much appreciated!!!