The handsome boy saves my life [Completed]

Getting to my room I locked the door and rested my back on it, luckily my roommates weren't around again. I quickly brought out a pen and wrote the poem that has lingered in my mind from the start of the day up till now

There is nothing more fatal

Than a broken spirit.

A person who feels everything at

Once yet numb.

Each feeling heightened so no feeling is recognized

When everything becomes nothing.

Nothing becomes everything.

There is nothing more fatal than a broken spirit

I was so broken by Amaya's words that for the first time I didn't cry not because I didn't want to shed tears but because I just couldn't cry. I stared at the ceiling counting the boxes and lines. When the feelings in my Heart became too overwhelming I screamed. Yet, even my screams were silent, that's how the world has oppressed me, that's how tired I was.

You can scream but make no sound. Make no sound Lora.

I faced the wall at my side while words began to splutter out of my lips.

She lacks depth they all lack depth, shallow people in a shallow world. I Kept repeating to myself. My eyes glistened from unshed tears.

Pain! pain! that's the only thing I know the only thing I've known emotional pain. I couldn't pretend to be numb anymore the pain in my heart was a proof of the fact that I'll never be numb.

I am not numb! I can't be numb! I'll always feel. I will always feel this excruciating pain this pain of a thousand swords cutting through my Heart. I will never know peace, I'll never know love, I have to die.

I took out my diary tore out a page and began to write a message to everyone. My suicide note. I needed to at least leave a message for my parents, my siblings and all those that truly cared for me in some way. I needed to tell them why I was doing this, why I was making the ultimate sacrifice.

That's my girl do it. Do it. I'm so proud of you, you are strong, you are brave for giving in. Only the brave hearted give in. Leave them in this shitty world. Leave them!_ They are shallow, everyone is. Remember once you die you no longer have to hear my voice baby girl. So do it. End me.

Pain whispered lovingly. He touched my chin and kissed my lips.

I was revolted by his kiss. I hated him. I hated him so much. So, so much. If killing myself would make him leave me then so be it. It would be a sacrifice worth rendering.

I started.

My own suicide note.

Hi Everyone

I am well aware that this is an unusual way of starting a suicide letter *smiles* but then again I think that maybe for just this once I should be cheerful because for once the happiness I feel is not fake and it radiates from the inside. The happiness of knowing it would? soon be all over is a joy so profound I can't help it but smile.

Mum, dad, Daniel and Amara you all are my family and I have no other family except you.

Dear Mum and Dad. If you are reading this now, then you already know that I won't be coming home for the Christmas as usual. I will be in my true home up in the stars now looking down on you all, making sure that you are all safe from this wicked world.

I am sorry for all the times I have been a pain to you but I know the good times that we've shared outweigh the bad tenfold. Thank you for being the best parents anyone could ever have wished for. You gave me everything I needed and more even when you had so little yourself. You put me first above all and for that I'll always be thankful.

You have both got long lives ahead of you yet, so make sure you make use of every second you have, because sitting here writing this now I know just how precious time is. I love you all so much and I don't want you guys to think that the fault lies in you, no, the fault lies in the world, in God and in me but never in you.

It hurts so much that I can't forget, I want to forget but everything keeps coming back with every slightest opportunity.

It hurts so much on the inside, it hurts so much, I feel so lonely here in school and I miss you guys so much.

I'm so depressed and so sad here and I don't want to live any more. I've been broken into a thousand pieces and I can never be put back together in the same way again, I can never be saved.

Mum dad you are the best parents anyone could wish for, Daniel, Amara my lovely siblings and the Best siblings in the world. I want to say I love you both and I will protect you every second of everyday, you will not be destroyed by the world like I your sister was. I will be in a better place and Ill be the eye that watches over you every day to keep you away from the dark.

To Sofia I love you so much, I know you are not Perfect but I love your imperfections. To Amaya, please stay safe and be a better person. To Adam, you made me feel special even if it wasn't enough to keep me. I am sorry that you couldn't save me. It's just that you came when I have lost all hope. Please don't think much about me, I want you to forget me, to erase me from your heart and mind. I want you to be very happy. I will be watching you from above too just as you have watched me. Hopefully you won't get to end up the same way that I did.

You have it all Adam. You really do. And I love you.

This sacrifice I make, I make for you all that I may no longer be a burden to you. For love I lived and for love I die.