The Guide Is Fixing His Regrets

Threatening to report would have been enough, but an association employee hurriedly opened his mouth. The last warning was a decisive blow.

“This is a serious matter that must be decided through an internal meeting….”

“Please release it today.”

“That’s impossible. There’s a procedure, so can you wait a week?”

“Right now.”

The association employee frowned at So-Won, who was younger than him. He felt a bit troubled. After thinking about it, he soon took out his smartphone from the inside of his jacket as if he had decided something.

“I’ll call the association president for a moment.”

While the employee was away, So-Won sat on the end of the chair and put his legs together. He could feel the gaze from the side but didn’t look back on purpose. It was embarrassing for him to be seen by Tae-Who when he confronted an older person. So-Won couldn’t raise his head because he was embarrassed. He seemed too immature.

So-Won bit his mouth for no reason, fixing his eyes on meaningless objects. No one spoke, but he was sure what had just happened was floating in everyone’s head in the doctor’s lab. He should have dealt with it more maturely, not just like a child. As always, he regretted it late.

The door opened, and the staff came in with a calm face. Maybe he suffered from a long nagging, but his face, which looked old, was already old.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. I just spoke to the association president, and he says you can remove it.”

“Really?”

So-Won straightened himself and brightly looked at Tae-Woo. Despite the happy news, Tae-Woo’s expression did not change.

It has been a breeze since then. Releasing the bomb was complicated, but there was no blockage in what followed.

The association staff brought a strange machine, connected it to a laptop, looked at a thick booklet, and repeated the process of working on something. The doctor’s lab became even more messy because of everything on the floor. It became even more complicated when the people in charge of dismantling the bomb came. So-Won felt sorry to the doctor in charge, but it was fortunate that this was not Tae-Woo’s private room.

It was only after well over an hour that the ring was released with a sound. Under Tae-Woo’s sharp gaze, exclamations erupted from employees’ mouths, continuing their work tensely. They quickly packed things and left their seats in a hurry, leaving the cluttered lab with the doctor in charge, who looked tired. So-Won and Tae-Woo also returned to the private room.

As soon as So-Won entered the private room, he dragged Tae-Woo to the sofa. He felt like having a conversation for some reason. So-Won, who put Tae-Woo in his seat first, sat close to him and asked.

“What do you think?”

“Still, it’s awkward.”

“You’ll soon get used to it.”

Tae-Woo’s hand kept heading toward his neck, which was empty. The bomb was gone, but the collar up to his neck was still covering his neck.

Above it, So-Won could see blood vessels that had not been covered.

So-Won carefully raised his hand and slightly swept Tae-Woo’s neck. At first glance, the veins that became as thick as fingers and blood vessels that flowed black around them were not mild symptoms. It would take a long time for those veins to disappear without a trace. But what is the problem? The So-Won will stay with him no matter how long or how long it takes.

“Thank you, Lee So-Won.”

So-Won smiled brightly and nodded his head, embarrassed by their long eye contact. Looking at Tae-Woo’s neck, it seemed a little bit lighter. He felt some sense of pride.

“I’m glad I was able to solve it quickly. I’m sorry that I noticed it late. You must have had a hard time.” So-Won dropped his hand slowly and put it back on his lap.” So-Won.”

Tae-Woo quietly called So-Won’s name. As So-Won looked at Tae-Woo and waited for words to follow, Tae-Woo opened his mouth.

“I have something to tell you.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Tae-Woo felt a heavy sinking heart as he looked up at him with nervous eyes.

On the first day he met So-Won, he should have told him about the bomb. Or he should have informed So-Won when he came to the private room. He should have confessed what was hanging around his neck when he started living with So-Won.

Tae-Woo was afraid that he would no longer be able to see the warm smile that he sometimes showed. He feared that only fear would appear on his face like everyone else.

When he realized that the black ring around his neck was a bomb, he couldn’t forget the look So-Won had made. Confusion, surprise, and faint anxiety. Looking at his white face, Tae-Woo realized. He deceived So-Won with his selfishness and deceived the guide, the only one by his side.

Even at this moment, Tae-Woo was sitting next to So-Won, pretending to be a person and deceiving So-Won. It was right to send So-Won away as soon as possible. Before So-Won realize he is a monster, and leaves him. If Tae-Woo had spent more time with him, it would be harder to let go of So-Won.

“I knew I had to tell you about the bomb, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

He wanted to kiss the side of So-Won’s round eyes and parted lips. The deep and dirty desire grew in the depths. Tae-Woo wanted to do things to So-Won that he couldn’t say.

He admitted he was wrong in wanting a guide, blaming God he sometimes didn’t believe. He was a monster who shouldn’t have a guide.

“I am the monster that people say I am. If you stay with me, you may continue to experience terrible things.”

Living with misfortune was enough alone. Tae-Woo didn’t want to share his pain with So-Won. The So-Won should live just like before he met him.

“So you can quit being my dedicated guide.”

So-Won did not immediately answer. He said something similar in the doctor’s lab earlier.

He responded coldly because he was busy listening to the doctor’s call, but the biggest reason was that So-Won was hurt when he heard it. So-Won was a little disappointed with Tae-Woo. He tried his best but was not like everyone else, he didn’t run when he saw him, but none of it seemed to get through to him.

“Kang Tae-Woo.”

So-Won leaned his head against Tae-Woo’s shoulder.

“I won’t quit as Tae-Woo’s guide no matter what.”

As soon as he finished with sincerity. So-Won buried his face a little deeper in Tae-Woo’s arm and whispered.

“Tae-Woo is not a monster. So don’t say that from now on.”

It was a request and a plea.

Tae-Woo wasn’t a monster. So-Won couldn’t stand Tae-Woo calling himself one. It was heartbreaking to see him disparagingly calling himself a monster. The person who should really be called a monster is So-Won, that made his Esper die eight years later.

He didn’t want to hear Tae-Wool telling him he could quit being a guide. So-Won didn’t want to be a guide to anyone other than Tae-Woo anymore. It was because the other person was Tae-Woo that he could do guiding, which he didn’t think he could even try in his life. So-Won felt uneasy without him. Even if one-day Tae-Woo doesn’t need So-Won, So-Won always needs him.

“…Is there anything else you haven’t said?”

If there was anything else, he wanted to know as soon as possible. So-Won didn’t want to struggle with guilt like today.

“There is nothing else.”

There was no way to know if Tae-Woo’s words were real. But after hearing the answer, the anxiety of the whole day became light instantly.

The wavelength flowed in from the area in contact with his body. Tae-Woo’s wavelength, which became calm, travelled around the body, distributing warm energy. So-Won didn’t feel the pain when he was first guided. The waves running wild and tormenting So-Won have now disappeared from nowhere and could not be found. Instead, he felt a flow that gently enveloped him.

So-Won quietly leaned on Tae-Woo and closed his eyes. He was going to have a short conversation and let him go so that he could finish his work, but the desire to stay with him a little longer popped out.

Let’s do this for a bit more. So-Won kept holding him even after a minute, five, ten, and an hour. He kept delaying him for as long as he could.

Feeling So-Won’s body temperature, Tae-Woo reflected on the words he had not said.

Tae-Woo was thankful for So-Won. He wanted to tell him that he felt alive only after meeting him and that his world had changed since he met him. However, for So-Won to hear such disgusting words from his monstrous self would have been embarrassing. Perhaps he could have left, fed up with the terrible feelings he felt.

Tae-Woo quietly raised his hand to the corner of his eyes. He noticed that So-Won sometimes stared at his face. And that’s because of the fading veins. Seeing Tae-Woo’s condition getting better daily, So-Won was happy as if he were looking at his own body.

The appearance wasn’t the only thing that changed as he got guided. Emotions that had already been deflated for a long time have been revived. All of his emotion was headed was So-Won.

Tae-Woo decided to bury this in his heart for the rest of his life. Let’s not be greedy anymore. Just so that So-Won can be his guide. Just like the first time he saw So-Won, like that promise.

“Why don’t you go home early today?”

“Really? Good!”

So-Won opened his closed eyes and smiled brightly. His cheeks, which he pulled up with his eyes folded beautifully, were brightly colored.

Looking at that, Tae-Woo always hoped So-Won would be happy.

———–
TW being hurt happened to him since he was a child. He thought it was normal.