The Golden Sun of the World of Gender Reversal

Episode 54. East-West couple regrets

I didn’t expect this. I thought I would already meet Choi Seo-yoon.

She must have been quite flustered as well, stuttering as she chose her words.

What kind of reaction should I show? Looking at her appearance, she could fully guess how much trouble she had suffered.

The appearance of compassion and sympathy. At this point, the desire to see and reconcile with them blooms anew.

No matter how heartless and ruthless he is, if he sees this kind of person, he will not be able to overcome the pitifulness and will approach him first.

However,

– No.

‘I know… I’ll have to wait a bit longer.’

It’s a character I liked, and it’s a pity that the person I still like shows such an impoverished figure… But I can’t ruin the plan.

The option of reconciliation is eliminated.

In that case, should I get angry? Should I frown in displeasure and avoid the seat?

No, that’s not the correct answer either.

All I have to do now is to let Choi Seo-yoon swim in her deep despair.

There is a saying that what is scarier than bad comments is no comments.

Her reaction to her now is not anger or disgust. On the contrary, calm and emotionless reactions are better.

What she fears most about her relationship with me isn’t me taking her anger out on her.

Being angry means, conversely, that there are still unresolved feelings between us.

Becoming strangers rather than anger.

She is much afraid of it, and hates it.

The reaction I need to show right now is –

-Trudge

I ignored her and walked away.

“Hyunwoo, wait…”

She urgently called me.

That’s right.

Stopping her steps, he looked at her and said reluctantly.

“What are you doing, senpai?”

“Seo, senior…?”

A title that seems to draw a line, ‘The relationship between you and me is just between seniors and juniors at the academy’.

Perhaps she noticed my intentions, her eyes began to tremble relentlessly.

“Hyunwoo.. Why, why do you call me that..?”

“What are you talking about, senpai?”

“uuu, Hyeonu…Don’t do that…”

She shakes her head and speaks.

The corners of her eyes begin to moisten, and her horse tail hangs down.

“If you have nothing to say, I’ll go.”

Use extreme honorifics as much as possible to widen the distance and build a wall in your heart. And, let them feel the wall clearly.

“Wait a minute…! Hyeonu, can’t you call me noona just once and leave…? Please… I, if I really am like this…”

She ignored her words and passed by.

She stretched out her arm as if to grab me, then let go and dropped it.

“Ah…”

Leaving behind her drool, I headed home.

**

I bumped into Hyeonu on the street. Hyeonu and Hyeonu were holding several bags in their hands, probably because they had bought something at the department store.

I haven’t seen him in a long time, but he still has a handsome face.

After doing that, it’s nice to meet again. Whenever this happens, I am so disgusted.

Looks like you haven’t noticed me yet…

Can I call Hyunwoo by his name?

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After Hyeonu closed his heart to me, the color disappeared from my world.

The time I spent crying in bed was long, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t feel free to laugh.

I spent time reminiscing about my memories with him every day.

In order not to forget or miss a single thing, I scraped everything from the bottom up to the most recent one and engraved them firmly.

“I’m sorry… Please…”

Every night when it got dark, Hyeonu would come out and leave me in my dreams.

He poured out his anger and contempt for me unfiltered, and no matter how much I begged him or pleaded with tears, he never looked back at me.

“Heo-euk! Ha-ha-ha…”

When I woke up from the dream, moist tears flowed from my eyes, and I was relieved that what had just happened was a dream.

Then, realizing that there was no difference in reality, I cried again.

I imagined going back dozens of times. It couldn’t be done, but when I thought of going back like that and rejecting Kim Dong-hyun’s offer with a single knife and spending a happy time with Hyun-woo, I felt better for a moment.

“..hehehe…”

And every time the imagination ended, more frustration subsided than before.

Having no one to blame made me sink even deeper. I couldn’t contact you first without shame, so I was alone with this feeling.

Hyeonu must have suffered worse than me.

The fact that I was the one who caused such a wound was wrapped up in me with a sense of guilt.

Tears welled up again in my eyes.

I was floundering in a swamp of guilt, depression, and all sorts of negative emotions.

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Night and day changed several times.

How long had passed, I suddenly went outside and wandered aimlessly. There was no motive whatsoever. I just thought it was too long ago…

My steps headed towards the department store. I had no idea. I just follow where my legs are heading.

I went inside a large and fancy building and looked around.

“Ah, ah…”

And there were memories with Hyeonu everywhere.

Cinema theaters, sporting goods stores. That’s where I protected Hyeonu.

The lobby of the department store we walked together.

Memories that I… Ruined with my own hands… I may never be able to return or create again.

“Hyunwoo… I miss you…”

I missed Hyeonu. I wanted to see him at least once.

I wish I could see his smiling face again and call me sister.

I hope his pleasant voice comes back to my ears.

I want you to lean on my shoulder on the bus. And I miss him who gently holds my hand.

Please…

From nob le mt l dot com

Just as I was thinking about that, Hyeonu appeared.

After thinking about it, I called his name, and Hyeonu, who was looking at the items in the shopping bag, looked at me.

There were many things I wanted to say when we met again. Like an apology that I couldn’t do at the time, or a promise that I won’t break my promise again in the future.

However,

-What’s up, senior?

The moment those words came out of his mouth, his head went blank. The words that filled his head and argued with each other saying that I would leave first, all of them disappeared before I knew it, and no words came out.

Why…? I always called you sister…

A senior? Why such a name?

How much I liked the title ‘sister’. Every time I hear it, my heart flutters and I feel better…

Really… Is it really over? Then, really?

…Looking at his face, I found the answer.

Hyeonu just stared at me with his eyes wide open.

I couldn’t find in him the anger he had for me back then, nor the sadness of the estranged relationship. Not even contempt or even hatred.

It was as if all the memories and emotions that had passed between us were cut off. It was cold, as if there was no residue left on me anymore.

Yes, it was a wall.

A wall of cold and solid steel built between people and their hearts.

A wall that seems impenetrable.

A wall I built with my own hands… Such a wall.

He walked past me after a while.

I couldn’t catch him like that. How can I catch him?

I stayed there blankly until his back disappeared and I could no longer see him.

Even in that moment, dozens of agony passed me by.

After a while, when I couldn’t find him, I turned around and headed home.

One step, one step.

Every time I move his feet, memories with him come to mind one by one.

-Nuna, it’s cold.. Is it okay if I cross my arms?

Again… Again, I want to give him my arm. I want to feel the warm warmth wrapped around my arm.

-Stay still. I want to wipe it.

I want to see him coming to me after sparring, holding a towel and wiping my sweat. I want to feel his gentle touch.

“Huh…”

I miss him who told me after sparring that he didn’t hate the smell of sweat. I miss you.. I think I’m going to go crazy if I stay like this.

-Really? I was going to give you a massage if it wasn’t okay.

After sparring that day, I remember the massage he gave me.

After the massage, we shared our body temperature for a long time, lying on the sofa and hugging each other, and leaving the academy together.

Hyeonu at that time is still vivid to me. I think I can still feel the feeling of being held in his arms, but are my memories just a mirage?

I still remember the sound of his wheezing, his warm breath, his kind touch, and his pleasant voice… Now he is not with me.

“Hyunwoo.. Whip…”

Water builds up in front of your eyes, blurring your vision. The sky was clear without a single cloud, but water droplets fell on the ground.

-Ziying

My cell phone vibrated, and when I checked it, it was Kim Dong-hyun.

“Ha…”

Annoyance welled up.

In the end, it’s my responsibility to go to that promise, but it’s Kim Dong-hyun who called.

Reminds me of Donghyun Kim of that day. I think of him, who, in front of Hyeonu, crossed my arms and completely ruined things…

When I think of him, I don’t think he’s cute any more. When you think of him, you automatically think of Hyeonu’s cold face.

…I hate to see it. I don’t even want to think about it. I want to erase it.

I blocked him by nervously touching the screen.

He shoved his phone roughly into his pocket and started walking again.

Until this morning, I felt like I was going crazy because I wanted to see Hyunwoo’s face, but after seeing his face, I feel like I’m going crazy because of his expression and reaction.

I’m walking down the street right now, but his face flickers before my eyes.

As it is, the vacation is over, the second semester has passed, and the grade has changed, and I have graduated.

I absolutely hate that.

But… Is there anything I can do?

The more you think about it, the more despair you get.

There are so many people in front of my eyes, but no one looks unhappy.

Even before vacation, when I saw people, I thought, ‘You guys don’t have anyone like Hyunwoo, right?’ I felt proud in my heart, but now…

I have become the most miserable of them all.

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With all her efforts to go outside, Choi Seo-yoon went home right away.

“Heh.. Heh, but.. Because I saw your face..”

Taking comfort in the fact that she hadn’t seen his face in a long time, she tried to lift herself up.

“Eh, even the face… Hmm…”

However, that wasn’t enough.

She experienced more despair today than that sense of comfort.

I couldn’t see a single place to attach hope, and when I looked at it from any angle, I could only see despair.

I only found out after he left.

He had to disappear to realize it.

For over 20 years, she has lived well enough without Kang Hyeon-woo, but now that she has met him, she knows that she cannot live without him.

The excitement and warmth that she felt for the first time and his charm exerted an effect beyond imagination and captivated Choi Seo-yoon, and that Hyeon-woo Kang played a significant role in her life over the past few months that she could not ignore.

…There are fighters who live to achieve democracy, and they also give their lives for democracy.

A man who lives for his family also dies for his family.

And when humans meet a really special being, they live in the world only for the fun of meeting him. And if he can no longer meet with that being, there are those who give up their lives.

In other words, the reasons people live are paradoxically also the good reasons people die.

Suddenly, she picked up a cutter knife. She had a steel body and plastic parts that could push her blades out.

-Drreuk

There was rust on the blade.

“Huh, huh..!”

-Ding Kang!

Within seconds, she threw the cutter knife she had picked up into the corner.

She entrusted herself to the tears welling up again, and she wept endlessly, shaking her shoulders.