The Gold is Yours, You Are Mine

Early the next morning, Wan Jing flew over from Beijing to take her to see a doctor.

"There is nothing we can do about her leg injury. Let's go to a big hospital in Beijing or abroad."

"If you have depression, you should stay away from the source of stimulation. It is best to live in a different environment. Does the patient have self-harm behavior?"

"Shi'an, show the doctor your arm."

Xie Shi'an sat here without saying a word, and there was no response even after shouting several times. The doctor and Wan Jing looked at each other, shook their heads, gently picked up her left hand, and took off the wristband.

A beautiful bow is wrapped around the gauze.

Xie Shi'an's head buzzed, and he frowned. He couldn't remember who sent her home, and who bandaged her wound. Maybe he was drunk, and his memory was blank.

When she thought about it, she felt a splitting headache.

"Hey, this bag is quite careful."

As the doctor said, he was about to take it apart, Xie Shi'an stood up suddenly, withdrew his hand, turned his head and left.

"Hey, Shi'an, Shi'an, I haven't finished watching the disease yet!"

Xie Shi'an turned a deaf ear and just walked forward regardless.

As soon as Wan Jing put his hand on her shoulder, he was thrown away.

When Mother Xie got the news, she also rushed over. When she saw her from a distance in the corridor, she trotted over and hugged her into her arms: "Shi'an, my good boy..."

Xie Shi'an was stunned for a moment, as if he had just escaped from that dazed state, he shouted hoarsely: "Mom...I want to go home."

"Okay, okay, let's go home."

Wan Jing sent the man downstairs in the community.

"This is Shi'an's medicine, three times a day, urge her to take it on time, and..."

He glanced at Xie Shi'an and pulled him aside.

"Put away any fruit knives, scissors, utility knives at home, put away all sharp objects, and pick her up..."

Xie's mother heard him say this, her eyes were red again.

"Hey, I'm really sorry to bother you this time, go up and sit down for a while?"

"No, I have to go back to Beijing. There are still a lot of things in the team."

Wan Jing waved his hand and told Xie Shi'an a few more words.

"Call me if you need anything."

Xie Shi'an nodded calmly.

"it is good."

She said "yes", but never bothered him once, Wan Jing sighed, turned and left.

When getting on the elevator, Xie Shi'an said suddenly.

"Can't I go home to myself?"

Xie mother forced a smile.

"Your grandpa's house hasn't been lived in for several years. It's a mess and you haven't cleaned up anything. You'll just stay with Mom for a few days, and you'll have time to move there after you clean it up."

These words reminded Xie Shi'an that when she woke up in the morning, the room was not in a mess, it was even in order.

"How did I get back last night?"

"Of course it was your coach Wan who sent you back."

Xie Shi'an said "Oh" and said nothing.

After entering the room, Xie Mama took out new slippers for her.

"In the room where you slept long, the sheets and quilts are all new. Here, if you need anything, just say it, just like your own home."

"Where does Yoyo sleep?"

"She huddled with me. Her father has been working overtime recently, and he doesn't come back to live very often. When he comes back, he will let him sleep on the sofa."

Xie Shi'an wanted to say something else, but mother Xie pushed him into the bathroom: "Go, go, you are dusty, go take a bath, after the bath, the meal should be ready, mom will cook braised fish for you."

At the dinner table, Mother Xie observed her expression, and carefully picked up a piece of fish for her: "Shi'an, do you have any plans for the future? Why don't you go to the public examination, stable..."

"I'm full, eat slowly."

Xie Shi'an put down the bowl, went back to the room, and didn't come out until night.

Yoyo came home from school.

"Mom! You gave up my room to my sister, so where should I sleep?!"

"Yuyou will sleep with mom first these few days, okay?"

"I don't! That's my room!"

"Yuyou is obedient, it's rare for your sister to come back, she left after staying for a few days."

…

Xie Shi'an turned over and buried his face in the quilt.

For the past few days at her mother’s house, Xie Shi’an just ate, slept, and had nothing to do. Xie’s mother was afraid that she would be bored at home, so she took people out for a few times, but she met again in the supermarket. The aunt who introduced the object to her.

"Yo, the girl is back?"

"I'm back, it's rare to be free, so come out for a walk."

Aunt's eyes wandered around Xie Shi'an, she covered her mouth and laughed: "There will be a lot of time in the future..."

Xie Shi'an let go of his mother's arms, and walked straight forward with a wooden face: "Mom, I'll go back first."

Since then, she never went downstairs again.

After Xie's mother went back, she locked herself in the kitchen and secretly wiped away her tears.

When it was dinner time, there was another commotion in the kitchen. Xie Shi'an opened the sliding door. Xie's mother was chopping vegetables. When she saw her coming, she smiled as if nothing happened.

"What would Shi'an want to eat tonight?"

Xie Shi'an shifted her gaze from the knife in her hand to the basin next to it. There were two or three potatoes soaking in it, and there was also a paring knife. She walked over and picked it up.

"Let me help you."

Mama Xie's expression at that moment was as if she was facing an enemy. She snatched the potato from her hand, pushed her out of the kitchen, and closed the sliding door in front of her eyes.

"It's okay, go and rest, I'll call you when the meal is ready."

Xie Shi'an looked at the water stains on his hands and was stunned for a moment.

Actually... she really just wanted to help her with work.

At night, Yoyo's father, who had been working overtime for a week, also came back. Mother Xie dragged him into another room, and she didn't know what to say to him. When she came out again to guide Yoyo in her homework in the living room, it was Slapping the table is another form of beating.

"You can't even do such a simple question. Have your brain been eaten by a dog?! You don't do anything at home every day. What else can you do besides eating, you idiot!"

"I'll make you cry! I'll make you cry! If you cry again, kneel to me on the balcony!"

The man whipped the little girl's mouth with the sole of his shoe.

Yoyo's mother rushed forward to stop him.

"What are you doing?! You beat the child as soon as you come back. If you have any grievances, you can send them to me. If you have the ability, you can beat us to death. It's over!"

"Mom! Dad! Stop beating..."

There was another burst of crying.

Xie Shi'an sat up from the bed, stared at the window for a long time, suddenly got up, walked over, and the moment she stood on the bay window sill and opened the window, the phone rang.

The three people outside were still blaming each other and arguing endlessly. The door of the room opened, and Xie Shi'an stood at the door with his bag on his back.

Xie Mama wiped away her tears and greeted her.

"Shi'an, it's so late, where are you going?"

Xie Shi'an was expressionless: "Go back to Beijing."

Back at the training base, Wan Jing was very happy when he heard that she was going to study abroad.

"I've been thinking for the past few days, find a chance to send you abroad to see your legs, it's not a coincidence, your school has an exchange program, you can go to the United States, I happen to have a familiar friend over there Orthopedic doctor, let him look at it for you."

"Even if it is... it can't affect normal life, right?"

Xie Shi'an knew his kindness, but now, he didn't seem to care that much.

Wan Jing asked again: "How many years have you been?"

"Finish the postgraduate study first, and if there is an opportunity for further study in the future, I will also consider it."

Wan Jing knows that she has nothing to worry about now, and everything that happened here has made her heartbroken. Going out may not be a good choice, but what worries him the most is not her leg injury.

"It will take at least two or three years. It's good to change the environment. It's just that you have no relatives and no reason in the United States. You..."

Xie Shi'an knew what he was worried about.

"If you find something to do, you might be able to get out."

Wan Jing sighed: "Okay, anyway, you have always been big-minded, and others can't persuade you easily, when will you leave?"

"Tomorrow I will go to school to complete the formalities, and I will leave the day after tomorrow."

"In such a hurry, I also said what's the matter, everyone has been playing together for so long, let's have a farewell party and send you off."

"Farewell, you know me, I don't like such occasions."

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to them then?"

Xie Shi'an's eyes flickered.

"No, save one or two to see me off and make you cry, let me go quietly alone."

Knowing that she had made up her mind to go, Wan Jing stepped forward and gave him a hug, her eyes were red when she let go.

"The only person you said that you were sorry that day was Coach Yan. If he had brought out such an excellent apprentice as you, he might be successful. When he entrusted you to me, he said, no matter what you do in the future Whether he can win a Grand Slam, he will always be proud of you."

"Shi'an, the past is in the past, and you still have a long life ahead, think more about the good of the people around you, and don't do stupid things."

Xie Shi'an's eyes became hot, and he bowed slightly, saying goodbye: "The past few years... Thank you too."

When she opened the door, Jian Changnian happened to be standing outside the door, looking at each other, she smiled wryly.

"I... didn't do it on purpose, I came to deliver materials to Coach Wan."

Xie Shi'an nodded slightly, walked around her, but was stopped again.

She thought that Jian Changnian, who knew that she was about to go overseas to study, would yell at her not to leave as before.

Who knows she just said.

"I'll take you back."

Sitting in her co-pilot, Xie Shi'an asked casually.

"When did you get your driver's license?"

Jian Changnian looked at the car ahead and smiled.

"Just the half a year you... rested."

"Why don't you buy a better one?"

"For a novice, I'm afraid it will be damaged. Besides, I'll just replace it. I'll change it after two years."

Xie Shi'an nodded, said nothing more, leaned on the back of the chair, and quietly watched the scenery passing by outside the car window.

Jian Changnian sent the person downstairs to her house and turned off the fire.

"Arrived."

Xie Shi'an seemed to have just recovered and unbuckled his seat belt.

"thank you."

Seeing that she was about to open the door and leave, Jian Chang moved her lips, wanting to reach out her hand to persuade her to stay, but felt that she had no position to do so.

Fortunately, Xie Shi'an let go of his hand from the car door.

A faint hope surged in her heart: "Shi'an..."

Xie Shi'an took out a bunch of car keys from his bag and handed them to her.

"If you hadn't sent me back, I would have almost forgotten about it. My car was parked in the 4S shop for maintenance, and I haven't picked it up. Anyway, I won't need it in the future. You can take it and drive it."

Jian Changnian thought she was going to say something to herself, but it turned out to be this matter. Looking at the key in her hand, slowly, her eyes turned red, but she still insisted on making a joke to show that she Clear conscience and not so sad.

"Don't they all say that if you buy a car for me, you will spend a lot of money, and if I drive your car again, I don't know what will be said about it."

Xie Shi looked at her steadily and just smiled.

"Anyway, the culprit has already left. If you have a suitable boy around you, think about it."

Jian Changnian looked into her eyes for a long time, making sure that she was not joking, but really wanted her to have a relationship and get back on the "right track".

She pursed her lips and took the key in her hand.

"it is good."

Xie Shi'an pushed the door and got out of the car.

"goodbye."

"goodbye."

Jian Changnian stepped on the accelerator, tears streaming down her face.

The car behind him started, Xie Shi'an took two steps, entered the corridor, suddenly started to run wildly, ran up to the fourth floor in one breath, locked himself in the room, leaned on the door panel, and slid down with his knees hugged When he got down, big tears fell on the ground.

＊＊＊

Xie Shi'an went to the United States so quietly. Jian Changnian would go to her Weibo when she missed her sometimes. Her homepage hadn't been updated for a long time, and it was still stuck on the one posted on New Year's Eve last year. "Happy New Year" on.

They no longer contact each other. Xie Shi'an will post news in Moments every few months, as if he is telling someone that he is safe, sometimes sharing a song, sometimes it is a corner of the University of Michigan, the library Or a basketball court at dusk.

Jian Changnian added all the songs to her playlist, listened to them on a loop, and saved all the photos. As for Xie Shi'an, it would be much easier to know her recent situation. TV news, IBF Official tweets/Twitter, magazine covers, etc.

Time flies by, and it's another summer.

Jian Changnian prepared for a long time this time, and wanted to take the Tsinghua University exam, but failed again. The disappointment and regret are no less than not being able to win the championship in the competition.

Wan Jing called people to the office.

"The North Sports Admissions Office just called to say that they are willing to admit you into the School of Management without taking the test. I think it's very good. You think about it, so I can call back."

Jane Chang moved her lips: "I..."

Before the words finished, Wan Jing knocked on the table.

"I know you want to be admitted to Tsinghua University, but it's been a few years, tell yourself, not everyone can be like..."

"If you miss this village, you won't have this store."

Jian Changnian fell into silence.

Yes, the first thing to do when you grow up is to learn to accept your fate.

Seeing that she had stopped talking, Wan Jing said again.

"By the way, there is one more thing. The team has found a new partner for you. He will arrive tomorrow. He will live in your dormitory first. You can cultivate and cultivate your relationship so that you can win the doubles gold medal at the World Championships next year."

Jian Changnian raised her head and looked straight into his eyes, with the same stubbornness as Xie Shi'an.

"I'm going to Beijing Sports, but you don't have to arrange a new partner for me anymore. I won't play doubles in the future."

Wan Jing asked curiously: "Why? You don't want to get a few more medals? The person arranged for you is really not bad, he is a good seed we have selected from thousands of local teams."

"My partner, from the beginning to the end, is only one person."

Xie Shi’an’s first year in the United States was spent learning the language and catching up with the progress of the course. Her high self-discipline and unyielding energy were also brought to her studies. Facts have proved that once people are busy, they will really have no time. Take care of other things.

When the first blizzard fell in Michigan, when she looked at the suspension message sent by the professor on her mobile phone, she realized in a daze that so much time had passed that the scars on her wrists had turned a pale flesh-colored color. The uneven touch when touched reminded her of the difficult times she had passed.

It's snowing in Michigan, and it's winter in China.

Jian Changnian went home the day before New Year's Eve as usual.

Grandma went to the station to pick her up.

"Is Shi'an still not coming back this year?"

Jian Changnian could only smile.

"The United States is too far away, and it will be a toss to come back."

"Then have you contacted her?"

"Contacted, she...everything is fine."

In the second year, Xie Shi'an's research project made great progress. The senior sister in the same group was a native American with blond hair and blue eyes, and warmly invited her to dinner.

The girl took good care of her in normal times, and even if she casually said that she wanted to eat Chinese food, she could drive her all over Ann Arbor until she found the most authentic Chinese restaurant.

Xie Shi'an is as meticulous as a hair, it's not that she doesn't understand the other party's intentions, she knows the United States, she is open, and doesn't care about it, but she just said: "I made an appointment with a psychiatrist."

The girl's beautiful face was covered with a layer of sadness.

"Ann, don't use this excuse to fool me anymore, you know, I hope we can have more in-depth communication."

Xie Shi'an smiled: "Sorry, I really made an appointment with a psychiatrist for a review today."

"Is it because of your partner...Jane?"

She was silent for a rare moment, avoided the question, looked into the other person's eyes, and said sincerely.

"We can be friends, very good friends."

The girl stepped forward generously and hugged her.

"OK, very good friend, I wish you all the best for your review."

The re-examination results were as she said, and it went well. After all, she hadn't had the idea of ​​self-harm for a long time, and she didn't need any other treatment. The doctor just prescribed some medicine for her, just take it on time.

After coming out of the clinic, the weather is fine, Xie Shi'an usually goes to the park in the middle of the street to sit.

There are people reading newspapers, street performers playing the melodious violin, and parents passing by pushing strollers.

There was a group of high school students playing badminton on the playground not far away, and her eyes were unconsciously drawn to it.

"Comeon, baby!"

"We can't lose!"

"Anna, comeon, you can't leave!"

…

No matter how the red-haired girl cheered her teammates on, she still lost the team match, and her teammates were also dejected, and they packed up their bags and left one after another, leaving her alone insisting on finishing the last match doubles.

Two against one.

The girl fell and got up again and again.

The shuttlecock flew out of bounds to her feet.

Xie Shi'an picked up the ball and gave it back.

When I got closer, I saw that the girl had a large piece of skin scratched on her knee, and she was sitting on the ground, bleeding profusely.

Maybe it's because she felt a little compassion because of her young age, or maybe it's because this scene seems familiar.

Xie Shi'an said softly: "It's all like this, do you still want to fight?"

The players on the opposite side were yelling, full of obscenities, and raised their middle fingers.

The girl wiped away tears and stood up.

"The game is not over yet!"

Xie Shi'an looked back.

"Any more rackets? Give me one."

Even though her legs are failing now, and it is difficult for her to return to her previous peak state of competition, she is still more than enough to deal with a few little hairy children. She ended the game in two or three strokes, turned around and left gracefully.

Looking at her back, the girl exaggeratedly stuffed an entire egg into her mouth, hesitated for a moment, and when she was about to get on the bus, she chased after her and stopped her, panting.

"I...I remember you...you often watch us play here, can you...please be our school team coach, we at St. John's have never won any team in the Michigan State High School League, but I want to win ,please!"

Xie Shi'an returned to the apartment and sat quietly for a long time, staring at the pipe she brought to America from China.

My thoughts were brought back to that year's Asian Cup.

"Now I am teaching you some commonly used techniques and tactics in the game, and I will benefit a lot after learning it."

Coach Yan taught all he had learned all his life. Did he ever expect such a day in the future?

sorry? Pity.

Are you unwilling? Unwilling.

Can you put it down?

She thought she had given up, but the moment she picked up the racket today, a familiar throb came to her heart. Xie Shi'an knew very well that badminton would be her life's career.

She buried her face in her palms.

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction again.