The devil who loved me

Days flew past and thankfully there was no threat to my security. I moved back to my apartment after Abayomi bribed me with paid lunch for a month. The guy wanted to screw his chic and I was a hindrance, plus I was still feeling uneasy about I and Toun's parole. Unfortunately for Abayomi though, she spent a lot of time in my house. One of those times when she spent the night, Chibuzor, my neighbor nearest to the gate became born-again. We were swallowing garri and soup when someone started shouting . i identified the voice as Chibuzor's.

Chibuzor: Holy God, I accept this anointing, I accept this cup….my lord …my Jesus..old things are passed away..no more bad bad things.

We were laughing inside the room when we heard a crash..Chibuzor did not open his door, he broke his door and stood arms akimbo in the compound. He was shouting so loud, everybody came out of their rooms

Chibuzor: Satan is a liar, my soul belongs to Jesus, mary, peter, mark,luke Isaiah, moses, noah, Daniel, Jacob, father Abraham, Michael, aaron, Elijah,Solomon, Ezekiel…

The list of biblical names continued,…..Job, Hannah, Samson .. I noticed his girlfriend crying infront of their room, I looked at Toun bewildered only to see the mumu Laughing.

Me: what is funny?

Toun: cant I laugh again?

I ignored her and walked to Chibuzor's girlfriend, she was scared

Me: why are you crying?

Girlfriend: someone should please help him

Me: from being born-again?

Girlfriend: which born-again? He just finished eating and started praying seriously, I joined him as a supportive girlfriend until I heard "in Ojukwu's name I pray" I got worried but I continued with him. Then he started preaching to me.

By this time, some neighbours stood beside me to listen to her

Girlfriend: he shouted and said " woman, you have demons in your toto, demons that have been depriving me of A, B ONLY D,E and F".

Toun: is that true?

Girlfriend: baby why are you doing push-ups?

Chibuzor: I am not your baby, I am married to Jesus, Jezebel leave me alone.

She started crying, I realized it was getting out of hand, I immediately called Timi.

Me: hello

Timi: hello Nkem

Me: quit the crap. I need you ASAP

Timi: any problem?

Me: hurry, come with your car.

Timi came into the compound in thirty minutes. By then Chibuzor was anointing us in the compound with buckets of water, as we ran, he chased us..shouting " Unclean spirit, LEAVE!"

Timi walked into Chibuzors room and came out with a plate of beans.

Me: you want to eat his left-over, if you are hungry, we have garri na.

Timi smiled and walked to Chibuzor's girlfriend.

Timi: wetin una put inside the beans?

Girlfriend: nothing

Timi: have you eaten?

Girlfriend: I haven't..

Toun started laughing loudly; a couple of hisses were rained on her

Timi: your boyfriend put over-dose of weed in the beans.

Chibuzor's girlfriend looked puzzled, but cried on.

Me: we have to take him to the hospital

Timi: yep, give me a bucket of water..

Toun got a bucket of water and gave Timi.

As Chibuzor saw Timi approach with the water, he started jubilating

Chibuzor: I anoint with water, but he that comes after me anoints with the holy-spirit, come my lord, I am not fit to untie your sandals.

Ok…I admit I laughed at this point.

Timi Aka son of God, doused Chibuzor with the water and he became a little disoriented. He tossed Toun the keys of his car, for her to drive, while I sat in front with her and he held Chibuzor at the back with his girlfriend at the other side. Toun could drive manual, I couldn't. Our destination was Best-care hospital. As we drove along Olopomerin road, I saw a car follow us .

A Volvo.