The Darker the Night, The Brighter the Stars

Zhao Yan placed a hand on her belly.

So it was like that?

Zhao Yan maintained a calm smile on her face. Her mind was quick to catch onto his words. The previous days had shown his intentions but because she was skeptical, she remained distant and alert.

"Your Highness, I don't understand what you seem to like about me? I did save your life but it was because you desperately wanted to live. In the first place, I never had any plans on saving you. I was about to leave when you stopped me. When I saw you looking at me and holding the bottom of my dress, I was so scared that I thought you would haunt me in death if I ignore you and let you die." Zhao Yan approached him. The light from the oil lamp illuminated her fair and gentle face.

She still did not wear makeup and there was only a single jade hairpin on her hair and the blood red jade bracelet on her wrist.

She dressed in a simple manner yet she could still catch people's attention with her simplistic beauty.

"So you see, Your Highness. I am not a good person. I am selfish. Knowing this, do you still want to marry me?" She challenged. Her lashes lowered and glistened against the light. Her lips quivered after asking her question.

Fu Yanqing placed the book down.

In the same tone and in the same voice, he repeated, "Li Zhao Yan, this prince will marry you, because you are the mother of my child and because I want to take care of you. Does this answer satisfy you?"

"Your Highness..." Zhao Yan stared at him as she tilted her head to look into his eyes, searching for any signs of deceit.

"Your Highness should know my character by now. I am not talented and I don't know much. Other than children, I cannot give you anything. You can find another woman for that, or someday, you might find a woman to your liking. Right now, His Highness might simply be mistaking your feelings of gratitude towards me into something else."

"Li Zhao Yan, do you think I am that simple?" Fu Yanqing said back with dark eyes. Zhao Yan became nervous and took a step back.

"Your Highness, I simply don't want us to make a decision that we will both regret." She murmured lowly.

"Do I have to spell it out to you?" Fu Yanqing's eyes narrowed sharply. The air around him turned cold and he was enveloped in an imposing aura that made people want to hesitate whether to offend this great Buddha or not.

Zhao Yan also felt apprehensive to talk to him when he was in this mood.

"Li Zhao Yan, when you could have let me suffer and endure the pain, you made me drink painkillers, knowing that they were expensive. Li Zhao Yan, when you could have just hired a doctor, you still tended to me and took care of me.

When you only need to deal with my injury and poison, you still took the time to wipe and wash my body. Li Zhao Yan, when I didn't have the strength to hold a spoon, you patiently fed me and never once avoided my gaze even while scared. Li Zhao Yan, when you knew that some people were after me, you still kept me in your house and insisted that I recover to full health.

You knew that I could give you something valuable in exchange for taking care of me but instead, you told me to leave and never come back." Fu Yanqing began to circle around her, causing Zhao Yan to place a hand on her chest, her heart beating nervously at his predatory gaze that was akin to stalking a prey.

"When you raised your voice and told me that I must drink my medicine on time, this prince was thinking that you were planning on ending me because I was being a burden. But you did it because you wanted me to get better, right?" Yes, it was true but Zhao Yan did not dare say this aloud.

"My bride, you never asked for my name or identity. Or what happened that led me one step away from death's door. At night, this prince thought that this prince wouldn't be able to sleep because you might do something to this prince or people would come to finally end this prince's life." His vivid eyes stared at her as he stopped, his hands on his back as he leaned down so they would be face to face.

"Yet one and half month later, this prince was able to recover back to full health as if nothing happened. Did you know? This prince has always been pale because this prince suffers from insomnia. I would stay late at night while waiting for the assassins to come to my mansion. Every day is always a struggle. How could I still sleep when my life is always in danger?" Fu Yanqing stood in front of her and slowly lowered his face.

"But while I was under your care, I was able to sleep with ease for the very first time. How? Why What makes you special that I find myself acting out of character and doing things that I would never do before?" He slowly placed a small kiss on the corner of her lips while looking at her eyes.

"I also want to know why this prince ended up liking you." He murmured softly.

Zhao Yan went numb. Her heart was beating against her ribcage, threatening to jump out at any moment.

His memory was a little too perfect? He noticed every little detail that she did.

But despite doing those things, her main reason was still selfish. She did all of that for her sake. Although she really did take care of him sincerely because she somehow pitied him. What kind of life did he live that even before his savior, he could still act so cold and guarded?

Zhao Yan thought he was quite miserable. Now that she knows what he had went through, she understood just how much her actions had moved in.

This man who was used to fighting for his life every single day has never once felt the comfort of living a life of peace.

Zhao Yan carefully placed her hands on his chest and slowly pushed him away while breathing heavily.

"Your Highness, you are overthinking. Zhao Yan is not that great. Zhao Yan's reasons for doing that is selfish."

"But I was also selfish for choosing not to grant your request."

Zhao Yan looked away when he said that. His words struck a bitter part of her. She could still remember his forceful hands that kept her down and how much she tried to plead him to stop.

She unconsciously hugged herself.

"Well, yes... Since we are both selfish then I suppose we don't have to get married after all."

"Yanyan..." He tried to say.

"I hate you. After saving you, I only asked for one thing but you..." Zhao Yan bit back her lip.

"You made me suffer that nightmare."

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