The Darker the Night, The Brighter the Stars

Zhao Yan rubbed her arms tiredly. The Empress Dowager talked a lot for someone of her status. But Zhao Yan wasn't miffed about it. It was the first time she had talked properly to a much older woman that seemed like a mother figure. How could she refuse and let her leave immediately?

At Prince Li's mansion, no one had properly talked to Zhao Yan. They would either scold her or reprimand her for always stepping out of line and that she should remain out of the conversation because women were better off amusing themselves with ornaments.

In short, in their eyes, women were flower decorations that were only there to beautify men.

Zhao Yan was unable to do anything about it because the more she tried to defend herself, the more they scolded her and told her she was in the wrong for not being sensible in admitting her mistake.

Now that Zhao Yan was free from that caged place, she was able to realize just how sheltered she had been and how much they had downgraded her worth just for their own gain.

They told her off and manipulated her into thinking that she wasn't worth anything aside from being pretty so that they could suppress her and control her.

Zhao Yan thought, if her grandfather hadn't been there to guide her, would she even have the courage to escape that place, let alone speak for herself?

Zhao Yan was very conflicted.

She couldn't help but dwell on the what ifs and nots. She had almost watched as her life was nearly ruined. One thing came after another and now... Zhao Yan was going to get married in three days.

She felt like she had made a rash decision by agreeing immediately. A girl can only marry once in her life. Those who were lucky enough to get a second marriage were either concubines or women from an influential family.

Zhao Yan doesn't have luck or influence. She believed that everything is achieved through one's ability.

But Zhao Yan couldn't act the same as before. She now has a child inside her. Could she really back down from this marriage when the other party was a prince and influential person?

Fu Yanqing was a person who had a much higher status than her. He was Prince Regent, a war hero and a man who had killed his own father to take control of the throne.

Zhao Yan was still scared of him, just that she didn't show it. What would that gain her? Pity? Her family never once showed her pity.

Even while she was shivering under a thin quilt during winter, eating plain food and barely having any maids to serve her, they never felt any pity for her.

Even as Zhao Yan escaped and started a new life, there were still people who had tried to swindle and take advantage of her.

Living alone had been scary. She had to live as a man on the road and when things had settled, she was able to live in the identity she had forged. Everything should have been perfect.

Zhao Yan could already imagine how her life was going to be. She would continue to work hard and earn money, just enough for her to live a normal and simple life, away from Prince Li's mansion.

Zhao Yan wasn't expecting anyone to look for her. They would probably try to in the first few weeks to look for her but that was it. They wouldn't put much effort on it. They would just do it to put up the pretense that they tried to find her in order to save their reputation.

Inside closed quarters, they were probably cursing her to death and badmouthing Zhao Yan for smearing the family's reputation.

Zhao Yan clutched her chest. Her eyes were burning. She didn't hate them. She hated herself for letting them treat her like that.

If only she had realized sooner, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to live such a hard life before.

But it was too late for regrets now. She was pregnant because of her own rash decision and would get married to the man she had saved from death.

Zhao Yan sighed heavily.

She must love the house and its crow to guarantee her child's future.

Of course, Zhao Yan wasn't delusional to think that Fu Yanqing actually cared for her. He cared because she was pregnant with his child. It was only because of the child in her belly that he was acting this way.

She had seen it before.

She had seen it in her second older sister who was very affectionate with her husband. Her second older sister's husband doted on her second older sister during the first few months of their marriage. Her second older sister eventually got pregnant and everyone thought they would experience conjugal bliss.

Zhao Yan had saw just how much her second older sister had suffered at a young age while caring for their child. If it weren't for the child, her second older sister's husband would have long discarded her second older sister.

This was why Zhao Yan couldn't fully accept marrying a person she had barely known. She had stalled her marriage with the help of her grandfather. And even when he disappeared, Zhao Yan held on long enough until she passed the age of 18 where most suitors would hesitate because they prefer younger women.

It was ironic how easily most of them backed down after learning her age when they haven't even seen her face yet. Zhao Yan was aware that she looks very young for her age but it was also very advantageous for her. It had helped her evade an unhappy marriage with someone she barely knows.

Now, at the age of 19, she was no longer able to stop the inevitable especially after having a good idea of what kind of man Fu Yanqing was.

Zhao Yan comforted herself. This was not a marriage for love or political gains but it was an obligation so she could raise her child in a complete family.

That was it. Nothing more.

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