The Darker the Night, The Brighter the Stars

After doing the deed, Fu Yanqing felt guilty immediately. It was a rare emotion he hardly felt because all his life, he had been forced to wield his toughest self and never show weakness.

On the battlefield, there was no place for guilt. It was only win or lose, life or death. The same can be said in the inner palace or no matter where he goes.

Guilt was a weakness and burden that would simply drag him down.

Fu Yanqing wasn't arrogant enough to say that he didn't feel a certain amount of remorse for the innocents that had died. Although he was Prince Regent, Fu Yanqing was still human despite his cold and ruthless ways.

He knows what being guilty was, what pity was or what kind of feeling people had when they made a mistake.

He also has various human emotions but because of the life he lived, and the status he held, Fu Yanqing couldn't be allowed to show these emotions.

He would feel them because he was still human but that didn't mean he would show them.

For the first time, he was flustered and embarrassed, thoroughly guilty beyond reasonable belief.

What did he do? She would definitely hate him.

This woman, Li Zhao Yan, was very straightforward and she would definitely show contempt for his actions. From what he had observed, she was the type to hold grudges.

She would cry...

She was still so weak and soft-hearted. She must have been terrified.

Fu Yanqing felt really guilty for his actions. He didn't want it to happen this way. His little woman was fragile. If he was in his right mind and not under the effects of the aphrodisiac, he would have never done what he did.

But alas, it was a lack of control and his own carelessness. He didn't regret what happened because it had already occurred but he wasn't stupid enough to say that it could be easily overlooked.

He would atone for his actions and take responsibility. He would work hard to earn her forgiveness and do everything in his power until she accepts him.

He knew he was in the wrong and being poisoned with an aphrodisiac wasn't a reasonable excuse. She had been prepared to help him and was about to get medicine but simply because he had caught a glimpse of her skin, he had lost his mind and became a beast driven by instincts and desire.

Fu Yanqing admonished himself for his lack of control and discipline. After 25 years of staying pure and far away from despicable women, what he thought was the perfect level of control combined with abstinence would help him get through anything but he was proven wrong.

Emotions were too powerful. He now understood why women were creatures who were irrational and emotional. Emotions couldn't simply be restrained by logic and reason alone.

They were strong and untamable. Even if one were to harden himself for years, human emotions were so deep and powerful that no amount of control would ever be enough to fully restrain them.

Fu Yanqing had been arrogant. He was a hypocrite for being prejudiced. It turns out that no matter the gender, status, or age, emotions were a ruling force that didn't differentiate.

Now that he found himself obsessed with one person, wanting to know everything and anything about said person, he realized just how narrow-minded he had been.

It took him 25 years of his life to realize this simple fact and it was all because of one woman, Li Zhao Yan.

Fu Yanqing had brooded and scolded himself for a long time, still stubbornly trying to reason and redeem himself but he was fighting a losing battle.

Even though he was no longer under the effects of the aphrodisiac, he could only think about her. Her voice, her smile, the soft sounds and mewls she made while he was having his way with her, or the adorable way she was sleeping soundly after what she was forced to experience with him.

He had never been so obsessed with anyone before. Fu Yanqing thought he was being creepy and quickly tried to stop the perverted thoughts occupying his mind. He had even gone so far as to search the whole house and look for anything that would reveal her identity to him.

He found the identity token on her ruined dress. He discovered she likes classics and books about philosophy and history. She even has a birthmark on her lower back in the shape of a butterfly.

How could he act this way?

He was still guilty and in the wrong. He knows what it felt like when people want to take advantage of you. His skin would crawl whenever a woman would throw himself at him.

He'd be so repulsed that he would throw the body away and burn the clothes he had worn. He would spend just about a few hours longer in the bath, scrubbing his skin raw.

Now he had done the same despicable thing he hates the most.

Fu Yanqing was in a state of confusion and war against himself but as he had said earlier, it was a losing battle.

He liked her so much that he had already made the determination to marry her and bring her back with him after he has disposed of the remaining people causing trouble. He'd also have a word with his Empress Mother for trying to rule over his nonexistent love life.

He was already twenty-five. Of course, he knew that most people his age were married and already has children but that didn't mean that he also needs to follow this trend.

He, Fu Yanqing, would never allow himself to be tied to an unfavorable marriage.

But now it was different. His little woman has occupied his soul and every inch of his being. He'd do anything to get her to agree on their marriage.

He wanted to explain himself and talk to her about his proposal but the inner court was bound to be chaotic after his disappearance.

He gritted his teeth, forced himself to get up and dress. He made sure to take care of her body and leave a letter to her.

Fu Yanqing wasn't too worried. His little woman has always been kind and has always followed his demands and requests no matter how annoyed she was.

He expected to see her waiting for him after he was done with his business.

He didn't think she'd disregard his words and would run away!

She even burned the letter along with the entire house.

He was so shock and angry that he had immediately ordered his right shadow guard, Si Chong, to conduct a search for her and find her whereabouts.

What should he do? He was worried. His little woman was naive and reckless. She was weak and could easily get hurt.

What if something happened to her...?

For three months, Fu Yanqing had been agonizing. He was always in a bad mood and he was more ruthless than usual. He spared no effort in finding her while busying away and handling his own pile of work.

Three months that felt like years had passed and finally, his right shadow guard yielded results.

Only he didn't expect that his little woman was pregnant...

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