Taming the Queen of Beasts

<strong>ELRETH</strong>

Half an hour later, Aaryn had spread his shirt out on the dirt and they both sat on it, their backs to the trunk of the Weeping Tree. They sat shoulder to shoulder, their hands clasped and resting on his thigh.

Aaryn was very quiet, his scent shifting slowly, rolling from one emotion to the next. Elreth had sensed everything from melancholy to fierce pride in him so far.

She understood. As she thought back through the evening she experienced every kind of emotion too—thrill, anger, fear, and yes, pride. Pride in herself. Pride in Aaryn. Pride in her brother, and in all the Protectors. Pride in her family…

But under it all, that rippling fear wouldn't lose its grip.

There was suddenly a sense of the sun dragging towards the earth. Of a day about to end, and no way to stop it. That no matter how strong she might be, or how fierce, the darkness was coming and she could no more delay it than shift into a wolf herself.

Elreth sighed heavily and squeezed Aaryn's hand.

"Which part is hard for you right now?" he asked without turning his head. His eyes had been fixed on the wall of leaves and branches in front of them since they'd sat down.

"It feels like… like we just broke the seal on something that's pouring out into the dirt and we can't stop it," she replied quietly. "I want to catch it and put it back… but I can't."

Aaryn nodded, his fingers tightening on hers. "Like the boulder's rolling down the hill and it's going to crash."

"Yes."

Both of them were quiet.

She heard Aaryn swallow, then he shifted his weight, but he still didn't turn to look at her.

"Well, no matter what else happens, there's one thing I can tell you… tonight made me so certain that you've got this, El. That when things push and pull, and Anima get it wrong, when there's decisions to be made in a heartbeat… you've got it. Everyone's eyes were on you tonight, and it wasn't because of how fucking hot you are," he said with a wry grin.

Elreth snorted. "I want to say thanks, but—"

"I'm serious, El," he said, his voice low and tight. He finally turned to meet her eyes. "Right now I feel like the only thing I can do is make sure you get through this safe. Like, it's in your hands. It's my job to make sure nothing takes away from what you can do. That's it."

She shook her head. "There's so much more that you do—"

"I know, but… my hearts with you, El. I've been waiting for the disformed to be raised for as long as I've know it could even happen. But when we got through tonight, even though I was elated, all I wanted to do was be with you. I was afraid we were going to the market and I'd lose that time with you. I'm afraid of tomorrow because we're going to have to shift our focus. It's all… from this point, there's no more time. It's going to be one thing after another, one decision leading to the next. I feel like… this is our last chance to breathe."

Elreth's face crumpled. He'd just put into words exactly what she was feeling. And it terrified her.

"Don't let go, El. Please?" he whispered, looking at their hands.

"I won't," she whispered back, adding her other hand to their clasp on his thigh so she sandwiched his hand between both of hers.

"We don't know what's going to happen in the next hour, let alone tomorrow."

"I know. But whatever it is, we'll face it together, right?"

"Right."

  He looked at her again and their eyes locked. Elreth's chest began to ache. She had to break the gaze or start crying, so she rested her head on his shoulder and hugged his arm.

"Watching Gar with Rika," she said quietly, it keeps making me think about you. About us. I'm so sorry I was so blind Aaryn. I'm sorry I wasted so much time."

He shrugged and her head bobbed. "Everything happens for a reason," he said quietly, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. "I mean, you weren't ready. If I'd tried to make you see sooner, who knows how bad it might have gone?"

"But now… now I feel like… I feel like it's my fault that we don't have more time behind us. Like our memories are incomplete, or something. I don't know," she said, frustrated and near tears.

"Don't say that."

"But what if it happens, Aaryn? What if this is all we've got? What if… what if the humans win and this is the end?"

He tipped his head against hers, holding her hand tightly, and she heard him swallow again. "Then we meet the Creator and live on with Him. He made us for each other. You're still mine, El," he whispered, his voice awed. "I'm not ready for that because I don't understand it. I don't know… I don't know how to think about that. But the truth is, you're the other half of my soul. Wherever we go after this life… I'll follow you there, too."

"But what if we don't have a choice. What if one of us dies and the other doesn't?" she said, her voice high and thin. Elreth wanted to scream in frustration at how weak she suddenly felt—she sounded like a cub, crying on her father's shoulder.

But Aaryn just shifted, turning his body, bringing his other hand up to cup her face and pull her chin up, making her look at him.

"I'll follow you anywhere, El."

She shook her head. "You can't. If something happens to me and you're still here, they'll need you Aaryn. And same for me. If you're gone I'll want to go with you, but I can't. We can't do that to them, Aaryn. They're our people."

He nodded sadly. "Then I'll wait for you. No matter which side of the veil I'm on," he whispered. "I'll wait until we're together again, and then I'll hold you again. Forever."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"I love you, Aaryn."

"I love you too, El."

There was a heavy pause, then Elreth sighed. "We have to go home now, don't we? And get started."

Aaryn sighed heavily too, and nodded. "But let's just take a few more minutes first, okay?"