Stunned for You

The twentieth of the twelfth lunar month is the death day of Grandpa Fu Sitian. In previous years, on this day, if Fu Sitian was in his hometown, he would need to be extra cautious. Because grandma's mood will be extraordinarily irritable this day, and if she is careless, she may be beaten and scolded.

When I was younger, Fu Sitian didn't quite understand why. Over the years, she heard more crying in front of the old man's portrait, and gradually understood what she was sorrowing and angering—she felt ashamed of her deceased husband.

One grief, Fu’s family, Ding Buxing, both sons only gave birth to a daughter, and the Fu’s family broke the roots in her hands; second grief, she did not take the child well, the eldest son he had the most high hopes for, ended up like this Fields. In the past, when he was there, their family didn't lose out to others, but now they all lose out to others. She felt ashamed to see him after death.

When she felt unhappy, she was even more uncomfortable with Fu Sitian, and it was easy to get angry with her.

She looks too much like her mother—the woman who missed her son's life in the eyes of the old man. Moreover, Fu Sitian's own existence is an unforgivable mistake for her.

If Fu Jianze hadn’t met her mother who was in elementary school and working in a bar, it would have been impossible for Fu Jianze to fight with the public, be remembered by the school, and be cut off from the family’s financial resources; if it were not for her mother who was not self-respecting, shameless, and conceived before marriage, Her son will not drop out of school halfway in order to have a child and support his family, ruining a good future, and eventually one step is wrong. In the eyes of the old man, she and her mother are sinners who have harmed her son's life.

After listening too much, Fu Sitian gradually became numb. Sometimes she feels that the old man is also very pitiful, and when she is beaten or scolded and made things difficult, she feels that she is very pitiful. Later, she didn't understand who was more pitiful, so she didn't think about it. She just wants to grow up hard and well. She comforts herself that everything will be fine when she grows up and has the ability.

This year, as in previous years, the old man prepared sacrifices, and Fu Sitian helped him. When cutting the meat, my hands were so cold that the blood from my fingers stained the meat red when the knife slipped. Fearing that the old man felt unlucky and could not care about the pain, Fu Sitian hurriedly carried the meat under the faucet to clean it. The blood on the flesh was washed away, but the wound on the finger didn't heal, and the blood came out again with a slight movement, staining red flesh again. Fu Sitian couldn't, so he had to ask the old man for instructions, "Grandma, I cut it, let's go out and put a band-aid."

The old man is irritable, "Is it so expensive? I went to the city for a few days to study a young lady's disease. You can't do a little thing well. You can check what time it is. You will be delayed by the lucky hour."

Fu Sitian squeezed the bleeding knife, his throat choked, and he raised his finger, without saying a word, and continued to cut the meat.

When the sacrifices were all on the table, Fu Sitian had a breath of time to breathe, digging out the alcohol from his suitcase, sterilizing the white and flipping fingers, sticking band-aids, and then hurriedly went to the yard to burn paper money. .

After kneeling and offering incense, the old man went out to breathe outside the courtyard, waiting for the paper money to burn out. Fu Sitian stood by the iron basin where the paper money was burning, turning the paper money with tongs so that it could burn through.

"Are you done?" Fu Sitian heard a conversation coming from the door.

The old man replied: "Almost."

"Oh, your granddaughter is back from vacation?"

"It's been a few days since I came back."

"Hey, I am envious when I look at your granddaughter. She is capable, beautiful, and can read books. Look at the one in my house. Hey..."

"What's the use of a girl studying? It's not about marrying someone. If she can marry your granddaughter half as well, I'll thank God."

The grandmother she was talking to was obviously happy, "Yes, girl, it is better to marry a good reading. How old is the granddaughter? Is it too soon? If I remember correctly, I am 20?"

"The virtual age is 21. Aunt Six, you must have a suitable boy, and help me pay attention."

This is not the first time Fu Sitian has heard such words. She smelled the paper money and choked her nose, her chest was so dull that she couldn't breathe. Following the direction of the black smoke, I first saw the aloe potted plants on the courtyard gate pavilion, and then I saw a narrow sky.

The sky is cloudy, and the sun cannot be found. Aloe vera is dry and shriveled, like rotten roots, and no nutrients can be harvested.

Fu Sitian stared at the aloe, and suddenly felt that he was like this pot of aloe. It was a long time since he left, and after being under the cloudy sky of Ningcheng for a long time, he started to be unable to hold it and was about to wither slowly.

What is Shi Yi doing right now?

she does not know.

When the holiday was just off, Shi Yi often took the initiative to send messages to her and responded promptly. Later, I didn’t know if it was because he always lags behind in replying to messages, which made Shi Yi lose interest and slowly. , Shi Yi's news is less, and the speed of replying has also slowed down.

Fu Sitian tried to contact Shiyi actively, but WeChat always automatically quit in the background. She would always be scolded by her grandma when she watched her phone more, so that sometimes Shiyi returned her message, but she still had to delay replying.

After a few times, Shi Yi went out to travel. Fu Sitian looked at the photos Shi Yi occasionally shared with her, and watched her riding on a camel, walking in the long yellow sand, like a goddess, with a vast world. She was amazed, admired, envious, and uneasy not wanting to admit it.

Shi Yi's world is so big and big, her world is so small and so small. She hoped that Shi Yi would always remember herself like herself. Isn't she too clingy and ignorant?

In fact, is this frequency normal now? She couldn't judge. Ashamed of one's own appearance and suffering from gain and loss.

Afraid of logistics delays, on the twenty-fourth of New Year's Day, on February 12, she spent most of her savings, placed an early order to buy a Polaroid mini90, and filled in the address next to Shi Yishen.

After the gift was given, her heart kept hanging, fearing that Shi Yi didn't like it, and even more afraid that Shi Yi already had it.

Frankly speaking, choosing gifts for Shiyi is not an easy task. She seems to have everything, nothing is lacking, and she has no special desires for material things. Fu Sitian couldn't give away things that were too cheap, and Fu Sitian couldn't afford more expensive luxury products.

Polaroid was when she flipped through Shiyi Weibo about half a month ago, she found out that she had reposted an advertisement to send Polaroid to a lucky draw, saying: "make a denominator". She guessed that Shi Yi should have wanted it.

In fact, Shi Yi had it very early. She reposted that Weibo, but because that Weibo was her friend, she helped her to get a kpi.

But when he received this gift, Shi Yi still felt a great satisfaction and joy that he had never had before. In the meantime, mixed with regret and distress.

This gift is too expensive for her. It is not the value of the price, but the value of the heart. Fu Sitian's economy is not well-off, she has always been in the eye. It would be difficult for her to afford this camera. When Shi Yi thought about it for a moment, his heart felt terribly uncomfortable.

How could she suspect that such a fool didn't think of herself enough.

Because Fu Sitian always arced her, always letting her wait from full expectation to enthusiasm cooling down, Shi Yi slowly felt that she seemed to be too proactive. Half of it was thoughtful that Fu Sitian might not be inconvenient for such frequent contact, and half of it was a little breathless, and she deliberately changed to the same rhythm as Fu Sitian. Inexplicably, the news between them is getting less and less.

Thinking about it now, Shi Yi didn't know how he could do such a naive and hypocritical thing.

She took care of it, took it lightly, and she didn't know how many photos she took and how many filters she changed before she came up with a photo worthy of the sweetness in her heart.

She sent the photo to Fu Sitian and said: "I received the gift. It is beautiful and I like it very much. Thank you."

It is rare that Fu Sitian not only responded in seconds, but also said: "Are you convenient to answer the phone now?"

Without answering, Shi Yi quickly pressed the shortcut key and dialed Fu Sitian's number. From the reflection in the glass of the bookcase opposite, she saw her overly bright smiling face.

Fu Sitian quickly picked it up, "Shi Yi..."

Her soft voice came, completely extinguishing the irritability that Shi Yi had been steaming for most of the month.

"Yeah." She said softly unconsciously, "How can it be convenient to call today?"

Fu Sitian's hanging heart finally settled in Shi Yi's familiar gentleness. I could still hear the voices of Fu Jiantao and the old man from downstairs. Fu Sitian walked to the corner of the roof furthest away from the old man’s room and said, “My sister and they are back. I don’t have to look after my grandmother.”

It should be more accurate to say that grandma doesn't have the energy to stare at her alone. She can get some personal time.

Shi Yi asked, "Is it convenient to call after that?"

Fu Sitian laughed, "It should be ok at about this time in the evening."

Shi Yi's lips deepened and he was happy. She deliberately teased Fu Sitian: "You have time, I don't necessarily have it."

"Ah? Then... when do you have time?" Fu Sitian's voice sounded lost and pitiful.

Shi Yi couldn't help but let out a laugh.

Fu Sitian was stunned for a second, then came to understand. "Shi Yi..." She had a long ending, acting like a baby unconsciously.

Shi Yixin was called Rou by her. "At this time from now on, you can call directly."

Fu Sitian happily responded "OK."

Shi Yi remembered and asked, "Why would you think of sending me a Polaroid?"

Fu Sitian said: "It will be Valentine's Day in two days."

Their first Valentine's Day together. Of course Shi Yi knew. "Then why is it Polaroid?"

"I saw that I reposted the Weibo of the lucky draw to send Polaroid, I think you might like..."

Shi Yi was stunned. It seemed that the softest part of her heart had been hit by something suddenly. It was soft and sour for a while, and she didn't know what to say about her.

Fu Sitian heard her not speaking, and felt uneasy: "Did I guess wrong?"

Shi Yi said softly: "No. I like it very much."

Fu Sitian was just happy, and Shi Yi added: "But, to be honest. I prefer the wool felt you gave last time."

"I like what you make by hand. Such a gift is unique."

Fu Sitian was a little lost, but he could also understand Shi Yi's thoughts. She promised: "Then I will know what to give you next time."

"what?"

Fu Sitian refused to say: "I can't say it now, there will be no surprises after I say it."

Shi Yi chuckled, not really asking.

The two chatted casually, Fu Sitian's body was too cold, but his heart was very warm.

Looking up inadvertently, she found that there was no moon or dark clouds tonight. An airplane flashed red lights slowly across the night sky, and the stars on both sides flashed and flashed, full of lively vitality.

"The stars are so bright tonight." Fu Sitian sighed.

Shi Yi walked to the window and raised his head to look up at the starry sky with her.

It was dark and there was nothing.

"I can't see it here." Shi Yi was helpless.

Fu Sitian felt a pity, "Then I will take a picture for you."

The voice of the people fell silent, and the sound of the wind became louder. Shi Yi guessed that she was filming. While waiting, she couldn't help but sketched in her mind the expressions and gestures that Fu Sitian might have at the moment, the more she thought about it, the more empty her heart became.

She suddenly understood her desire.

What about the stars, she doesn't actually care.

It is her that she wants to see.

It is Fu Sitian.

26 days.

She has always missed her. I miss her when I see Saibei at sunrise, I miss her when I see the wonders of the Gobi, I miss her when I ride a car, and I think about her when I ride a camel. Everything seems to lack a little taste.

I always thought, it would be nice if Si Tian was by his side.

"Shi Yi, the phone camera doesn't seem to be able to take pictures with the naked eye." A voice came from the receiver again.

Shi Yi smiled slightly, "It's okay."

She asked: "The day after tomorrow, do you have time to come out and watch with me?"

"come out?"

"Yeah." Shi Yi deliberately edited: "My mother will go to Ningcheng on a business trip the day after tomorrow. From the high speed, if you have time, I can go with her and go back together. Of course, it doesn't matter if there isn't."

Like all the stars falling on his head, Fu Sitian was stunned by the sudden surprise. Without any hesitation, she said: "Yes, I have time!"

She thought that even if her grandmother disagrees, even if she has to turn the window over the wall in the middle of the night, she must go there.