Step by Step to Win

Chapter 10: fate

   When Gao Shunyao asked Li Ze a question, Li Ze noticed that the two had already walked back to their residences before they spoke.

   Tokyo’s rooms are always very small, and after Gao Shunyao’s question blurted out, Li Ze found that he didn’t even have a place to avoid it.

   There are only two people in the whole house, and this question is directly brought to the front.

   "Lao Li, tell me the truth, have you played football before? You didn't summarize these things yourself, right?"

   Gao Shunyao's problem seems to be nothing unusual, but this time, it was Li Ze's turn to be stunned. Different from the embarrassment and helplessness on Gao Shunyao's face after being asked just now, Li Ze's face became heavy as soon as Gao Shunyao's question was uttered.

   The change in his face is so obvious, even a dull person like Gao Shunyao can see his unhappiness at a glance. He didn't know what he said wrong, but he didn't scold him, so his face changed, and he should have uncovered the other's scars.

   "Old Li, if I say something wrong, don't care..."

   Although Gao Shunyao is not smart, he also knows that he should be careful when talking with his friends. Seeing that Li Ze's face was wrong, he quickly started to remedy it.

   "It's nothing, I did play football before." As if suddenly awakened, Li Ze didn't let him go on, he confessed Gao Shunyao's guess with a strong smile. He didn't want Gao Shunyao to apologize to him. It was him who spoke even more ill-spoken today.

   It's just Gao Shunyao that brought back his memories: indeed, he once played football, although that is already a thing of the past.

   For Li Ze, the word football is so far away and so clear. Every time I mention it, it makes him a little uncomfortable. But after all, it has been far away from itself, why bother to care about him?

   Li Ze used to play football when he was very young. He has this experience, which is somewhat related to his parents. His father is a high school physical education teacher. He often leads the school team to play football in the school when he is fine. His father's job can be said to be his football enlightenment class, which has a profound impact on him.

   When he was young, his family lived in the school playground across the wall. When he was in elementary school, he was used to sitting on the court of his father's school after school, watching his father lead the group of high school students to play football. Sometimes, they are not in a formal game, but just playing. At this time, they will also call Li Ze to play with them. For him as a child, being able to play with those older kids is one thing. It was a face-to-face thing. From that time on, he didn't like to play with the little kids around him, but liked to play with the older kids.

   And because he likes to play with that group of people, his father thinks he has a talent for football. He specially sought out his friends who teach in the football school, he did not hesitate to invite them to dinner, let them check whether his son has enough potential to play football, and under the unanimous praise of those people, he entered in a daze. At the football school, he began his football player career.

   From then until high school, he has never interrupted his football career.

   Thinking back now, the words of my father’s classmates at the time were somewhat exaggerated. Maybe it was because of the meal that they elevated themselves. After going to the football school, although his skills in playing football are not bad, and he is very brainy when playing football, but his body has always been considered relatively poor in the team. My own football school is not a good school second to none in the country, but I just barely play a main force there. The gates of the National Youth Team and the National Youth Team have never been opened to him. For him, it was a very remote thing-it was just that he, who was young and frivolous at the time, paid no attention to these. He has been to believe that he will grow up a little bit, he will be taller and stronger, he will have a good body, he will also have an epiphany in football thinking, and then become a top player, galloping on the green field—— The Chinese Super League, the national team, and even European football have all appeared in his dreams.

   It's a pity that he didn't wait for those, instead he waited for the nightmare to come.

   "Then why don't you kick now?"

   Gao Shunyao raised the question again. He thought this was quite incredible. Li Ze is not tall, nor does he have a good body for long movement. He didn't even look like an athlete. He was a little fatter but a quiet student. Gao Shunyao never thought that he had ever been a professional player. This is really unbelievable.

   Li Ze glanced at him, shook his head but said nothing. He opened his clothes and exposed his chest in front of Gao Shunyao. On his chest, a huge scar lay there, causing Gao Shunyao to take a breath.

   "How did you make this scar?"

   Although Gao Shunyao can be said to have seen many scenes, it was the first time he saw such a big scar. This centipede-like scar, surrounded by a circle of flesh of different colors, extends from Li Ze’s chest to his armpits, goes around the armpits, and leads to his back, making it impossible to see this. How long is the scar. This scar made Li Ze's body look like it was torn in half and spliced ​​together, even if Gao Shunyao was bold enough, he felt a little chilly.

   He has a good relationship with Li Ze, but he has never seen this scar. The school’s bathhouse is coin-operated and costs 100 yen for 15 minutes. Many boys take a bath quickly, and they all go together, and then divide the 15 minutes equally, but Li Ze has never taken a bath with anyone, and he didn't know that Li Ze had such a chest injury.

"The operation in high school, heart disease, was done." Li Ze concisely stated the origin of his scars. He is a very talkative person, but he didn't want to talk too much about this matter. In the past, I only weighed 130 kg. After the operation, my weight rose to 190 kg after the medication was taken. When I came out of the hospital, few people except my parents knew me. With this I'm sick, what kind of ball are you playing? Just go home and rest."

   Li Ze's plain words can't be heard. But Gao Shunyao, who had known him for a long time, still realized his unwillingness. Gao Shunyao didn't know his level when he was playing, but as he thought, regardless of his level of play, the result of giving up in the end was not because of ability, but because of a sudden illness, so he would be unwilling to say anything.

   He didn't dare to speak any more. He knew that his friend's scar was untouchable. This kind of painful experience, if he said the wrong thing, was to sprinkle salt on the wound.

   This memory is too sour for Li Ze.

   Li Ze’s experience of playing football continued into high school, and he was still the main player of the team until he reached high school. It is said that at that time, professional teams have begun to investigate him. His coach also hinted to him that if he can be cleared up, he can play professional football, and it will not take long to become a well-paid professional player. But just when everything showed that he was going to succeed, the sudden illness knocked him down.

  Heart disease, thoracotomy, bed rest for a year-these were things in another world for him once, but now they are falling on him like a nightmare.

   Until now, Li Ze also thinks that it was the biggest disaster he has encountered in his life. He clearly remembers how he felt after his surgery and knowing that he could no longer play football. For him, what he encountered during that period was not only physical trauma, but also psychological trauma.

   His football dream was shattered at that moment. The bright future of the past has all turned into dream bubbles. The injury was delayed for a year, and what is more frightening is that after he recovered from his injury, the doctor also clearly told him: He must not exercise vigorously for more than 30 minutes, otherwise his life will be in danger.

   This sentence is equivalent to shooting his football career in the infancy. And that sentence almost drove him crazy.

He used to cry, used to go on a hunger strike, used to swear, once begged his parents to take him to see a doctor abroad, used to push his disease to the coaches for irresponsibility, once complained that the doctors did not treat the disease well, and used to expect non-existent gods Take care of your injury. At that time, he was like an angry beast. He wanted to tear everything in front of him to pieces, and wanted to find a way to vent his dissatisfaction.

He has cherished the team uniforms that he has treasured for many years and burned them all-the uniforms of Ajax in 1995, the uniforms of Inter Milan in 1997, the uniforms of Brazil and Croatia in 1998, and then Real Madrid. Team uniforms, Manchester United team uniforms, Italian team uniforms, and of course, my own football school uniforms.

   A large bag of clothes was taken out by him and lit a fire, all of which were burnt clean. After experiencing his serious illness, the family was not rich, but his parents didn't say anything about burning his clothes like this.

   Maybe, my parents feel more distressed than myself.

No matter how angry the beast is, it will eventually recover its calm. After he recovered his calm, he was finally willing to face the reality: his body is not saved, and the same is not saved. He has that unbearable youth and that fragmented life.

   Probably after that incident, I also began to consider my own way out. After years of playing football, his cultural class scores have long been in a mess. In the college entrance examination, a total of 380 points made him unable to even get three books. At that time, he himself felt that he was abolished, he had no culture at all, and he couldn't do physical work. There was no hope in this life. It was his parents who thought of sending him to study abroad at that time.

   He knows what his parents think. He has studied abroad for a few years, and even if he doesn’t learn much, he can broaden his horizons and know how to mess around. This has been the case in his life, no matter how tall things are, his parents dare not think about it, and he dare not think about it himself.

   He originally thought that his fate with football had come to an end. But now football has broken into his life again.

   And this time, the way it came was so unacceptable: Gao Shunyao was in front of him and vowed that he was going to play a formal game.

   How ridiculous, I, a man who has received formal training and has dreamed of it for many years, has gone farther and farther away from football, while a guy like Gao Shunyao who is on a whim for women can run to play football.

   Destiny is such a fun thing, sometimes people can't help but want to laugh out loud when they look at it. What I think of as my dream is so cheap in the eyes of others.

   How can he maintain a calm mind with such a thing? Only this thing is different to him.

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