Shiver

Working out six hours a day, every day, and working on an eight hour shift every night, took it's toll on him very quickly. Ever since a colleague of his suggested enhancers to boost his energy, he was able to add more hours at the gym and more hours on his shifts, and could still hangout at bars afterwards. Everyone else was using it, it was common for his line of work. They call it 'the helper', which lead to other kinds of helpers, for every different needs. Even actors use them too.

There really wasn't much to do after work, except for bar hopping with the guys. Days were always dark for him because he spent mornings sleeping, and practically woke up at the gym to train until it gets dark. The enhancers really helped him cope with his new routine. He watched as his friends snorted and shoved all kinds of pills everyday, but he stuck to his beers and whiskey with an occasional weed when it was pass around. Simon had warned him about the drugs, how easy it was to get his hands on them, but also how hard it was to get off it.

The girls were harder to resist. They were everywhere, constantly shadowing his every move. They were screaming for him when he was on stage, tried to touch him. When he was off stage, they were offering him money to get him to do private sessions, to go home with them, to perform at a party and whatnot. When he was off work, it was even worse, they were offering themselves for free. He hadn't had sex in over three months, the longest he ever went without it. The enhancers he took kept him on high alert, mind, body and libido. He wasn't enjoying celibacy.

Charlie was weighing on his mind. As time went by, the thought of how her skin felt on his hands and lips can turn him hard in seconds. But she was more than her body, she was someone he wanted to have in his life, everyday, all the time. She saw him like no one had ever seen him before, his vulnerability, his insecurities. She told him she loved him, in spite of everything. She could've had anyone she wanted, anyone would've been better than him, but she chose him, and that was what kept him away from all those girls, every single night that she was not with him.

They were hanging out at a bar to watch Jeremy perform that night. Todd, Phillip, and the rest of his batch buddies had been snorting all night. Each of them had a girl sitting on their laps, hands and mouth everywhere. While he sat quietly with his drink, biting on a toothpick in the corner of his lips. He spotted two women at the end of the bar, they've been eyeing him since he sat there. There was another one who was sitting on his left side, her boobs almost fell out of her skimpy dress, she was checking him out. He took a long breath and exhaled while he kept his eyes on the stage. Those were the kinds of women he used to hook up with before Charlie, a quick and easy release for his very basic human needs.

He felt a set of fingers scratching softly on the back of his neck, all the way to his shoulder and arm. He turned to look, it was a woman in a Gatsby dress, she walked over to a chair across from him and lifted her legs onto his lap. She took a drag on her cigarette.

"Hey Deeta ... I haven't seen you in awhile," he said coolly.

She had a wicked smile curved on her lips, "Why don't you have a girl on your lap, Tom? Were you waiting for me?" He responded with a half smile. "Don't tell me you're still committing to that girl back home? It's been so long ... little Tommy deserves to go out and play," she teased him, rubbing her feet on his crotch. He held her feet and slowly put it down. She lifted an eyebrow, "I admire your tenacity ... not sure how much longer you can hold it, though ... Maxine had been asking about you ... I think she wants to meet with you."

"She can give you a fast track to the studios, I know you're not planning to dance your butt off forever," she took another drag on her cigarette. He looked into her eyes without saying anything. "She has an eye for you, Tom, you can take advantage of it, I'm just here to give you career advice, if you want to make it to the industry ... she's your VIP ticket," she told him.

He shrugged, "And what do I have to do in return?" he leaned closer.

She laughed, "Ooooh ... there's plenty you can do, trust me, she's very ... creative ... she has a lot of hobbies, she'll pay good money, of course, she's not a bad looking woman ... she's pretty hot actually, she's hot in bed too ... you'll learn a thing or two from her, I know I did." Deeta had been Maxine's go to girl for awhile, and they've been intimately close.

He threw himself back to his chair, lifted his arms and crossed them behind his head. As tempting as it was, he would never consider to be a boytoy, that was not how he wanted to build his future. "We came from nothing, Tom, if you want to be something in this city, you need to slave for these people who can get you up there ... everyone does, it's just that for us ... we do it in the bedroom," she explained. "Well not necessarily in the bedroom ... but you know what I mean," she chuckled.

He rubbed his face in frustration, casual sex had never been this hard for him. He put his head down, "I can't do it, Deeta," he exhaled deeply.

She laughed at him, "This girl has really got a hold on you, hasn't she?"

He shook his head, "Like you wouldn't believe it, I want a future with her, Deeta."

Deeta went over to him and sat on his lap, "Imagine what kind of future you can have with her if you do this, Tom ... I mean ... she doesn't have to know," she licked the side of his face.

Deeta stood up and grazed her breast on his cheek, "Think about it, Tom ... I'll see you around," she trotted out of the bar seductively in her signature walk.

He sat back on his chair, tried to shake off the thought of actually accepting the offer. The phrase 'she doesn't have to know' kept ringing inside his head.

All the smooching and women in skimpy dresses had taken it's toll on him, he couldn't sit around in that place any longer. He decided to go back to Jeremy's place, without Jeremy. He put his hands in his pocket, put his head down as he walked along the pavement, passing through the hustle and bustle of Goldstone streets. He lit a cigarette when he waited for the red light, a car pulled beside him. It was a white limousine with opaque window, he couldn't see who's inside. The passenger's window rolled down slowly, Maxine Roberts was comfortably sitting inside with two young girls.

"Tom ... right?" she asked. He nodded. "Get in, Tom, we'll drop you to wherever you're going," she said. He hesitated a moment, he looked around and thought 'I could use a ride', he flicked his cigarette and got into the limousine.