Shiver

Landon had been calling her every weekend since Halloween. He asked her how she was doing, what she's been doing, but mostly he talked about school and how much he had to study. He spent Thanksgiving with his family, a weekend away at their other vacation home near the mountains, doing all sorts of posh activities that he enjoyed so much. He said he wanted to go skiing for Christmas holiday and asked Charlene if she would join him. She politely declined. Even after he had been nice to her, she didn't feel like Landon is someone she can be close to.

"Oh come on ... you'll love it, I'll teach you how to ski, you'll meet all my friends and family, we'll stay out at a villa in the mountains, drink eggnogs and other Christmas-y things," he tried to persuade her.

"I don't know, Landon, I feel like spending Christmas here with my family ... spend more time with Charlotte before I leave next year," she said.

"Fair enough ... there's always next year, maybe you'll come next year?" he asked.

"Maybe."

That wasn't all the reason why she wanted to stay in Bluebridge for Christmas. She was hoping that Tommy would come home for the holiday. After she hung up the phone, she buried her face in her pillow and sulk. Even after almost three months without hearing from him, she couldn't bring herself to stop thinking about him. She missed the way he smelled, the way his skin felt against hers, his touches, his silly laughs, the way he teased her, those bright blue eyes, the little bend on his big nose and those thick red lips upon hers.

She couldn't understand why he hadn't come home and not a single word from him. He was just gone. The last time they saw each other, they were still very much in love. But then ... nothing. How could someone do something like that? One minute they showed how much they love you and the next they were gone like you never even existed.

There was a knock on the door. Before she could say anything, her mother came in and sat on her bed. Charlene's face was still wet with tears, she tried to hide it but it was useless, the minute her mom asked, "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she burst into tears again. "Was it Landon?" her mom thought, because she had just been on the phone with him. She shook her head. Catherine realized it was the other boy. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry," she said and took her daughter in her embrace.

The heart breaks the hardest the first time, Catherine had told her, it was inevitable. She hated seeing her daughter like that, but it was something everyone had to go through. She didn't want to say 'I told you so', Charlene was devastated enough without her saying anything. "It'll be alright, Charlene, it always does," she said.

"It would be so much easier if he had told me that he's not coming back ... there's nothing, and I don't know what to think," she sobbed at her mom's shoulder.

Catherine cupped her daughter's face with both her hands, she wiped the tears from her face, "You're going to stop feeling sorry for yourself, and move on with your life ... we don't wait around in uncertainty, we decide what to do, don't let him do that for you ... especially when he doesn't have the decency to reach out to you."

Charlene's sob was slowly receded, her mother was right. "I love him, mom," the magic word.

Catherine smiled, "Of course you do, and you will love every one of them ... that doesn't mean you should let him do this to you," her expression calm, yet strong.

She still couldn't decide, though, what it was all about. She fell hard for that broken boy who stole her heart away. There's nothing she wanted more than for him to come back and bring her back to life, lit her fire once more. With everything they've been through together, even for the short while they were together, she was sure he wouldn't be the one who breaks her heart, not like that. But she knew she had to make up her mind, she can't wait forever.

**********

Snow fell to the ground, two days before Christmas. She asked Charlotte to go out to the yard and enjoy the first snow. They were running around, spinning with their arms open, trying to taste the snow with their tongues when a car approached from the gate. It was a black Porsche.

Landon stepped out from the driver's seat, looking preppy as always. "I thought I drove out here to see what you guys are doing for Christmas," he greeted them with a hug and a kiss on the cheeks.

"I thought you were going skiing?" she was mostly surprised to see him.

He shrugged, "I cancelled at the last minute and bought you guys lots of gifts," he said to Charlotte and she bolted to the car, took out bunch of bags of gifts.

"Everyone's gonna be away until after the New Year, so I might stay here until then ... if that's okay with you?" he looked at her in the eyes, hoping for a favorable response.

She smiled, "We could use another pair of hands to help out with the snow." They laughed.

He was most welcomed by her dad, of course. Her mom was concerned that Landon might have come at a too convenient time.

He helped out with the tree, the decoration, the snow, even the meal preparation. He went out of his way to make an impression and they started to forget how he behaved awhile ago in Gastonburry. All the while, he never once indicated that he was expecting Charlene to treat him more than just friends. He even busied himself by talking and mingling with other people and not constantly at her back. There were other guests at Christmas Eve, some were important friends of Bill's, others were relatives from Catherine's side of the family whom they rarely meet and happened to visit.

They enjoyed their meals in a casual way, not sitting on a big dining table, but more scattered around the house. Landon was big on social situations, he gets into conversations with everybody. Charlene enjoyed her eggnog by the fireplace, sat quietly and engaged in her own thoughts. Landon thought it was time to sit next to her and stayed with her for the rest of the night.

"A penny for your thought?" he interrupted her silence.

She smiled, "How do you like it so far? Is it better than what would've been your skiing trip?"

He laughed lightly, "I enjoy social gatherings, it gives me insights on things otherwise I wouldn't have thought about," he was being diplomatic.

"You sound like a politician," she said jokingly. Of course the ski trip would've been a lot more fun, it goes without saying that he wasn't there for the party.

As the night advances, guests were starting to leave. The rest of the party were moved to the family room for singing and piano session. Charlene and Landon were talking by the doorway when Charlotte played the piano and uncle Stan and aunt Lily took turn singing Christmas songs. Bill Ludlow came from behind them, "Look who's standing under the mistletoes? You know what they say ... it's bad luck if you don't kiss," he encouraged them.

It was so awkward when everyone in the room started to cheer them on. Even though Landon looked like he was more than willing, Charlene was shy, she blushed as she reluctantly leaned toward Landon and they kissed. It was a harmless peck on the lips, but then Landon leaned over for a second and enveloped her lips with his mouth for a meaningful one. She was surprised, her eyes widened. Landon laughed and looked at the whole room who were cheering for the kiss. "I'm sorry ... I couldn't help it, it was suppose to be a kiss ... not a peck," he said jokingly and made everyone laughed.

She just smiled and walked away, she didn't want to make a big deal out of it, even though it was a big deal. She never kissed anyone other than Tommy, and Landon's kiss felt different from what she was used to. It was a good try on his part, but she was obviously avoiding any romantic gestures, so he let her go, for the time being.

They opened the gifts in the morning, just the four of them, and Landon. He had surely made his way into the heart of the family by showing up on Christmas. He brought everyone gifts. Four gifts for Charlene just to let her know how much he can give her, more if she asked him to. It didn't impress her as much as it impressed her dad. For Landon, it was more important to swoon Bill Ludlow, since he has all the say in the family.

He was there, all day, every day, being the son that Bill Ludlow never had. Charlene knew what he was doing, her heart was still heavy on Tommy. She didn't know what's going to become of Landon. She didn't realize that him being there, every day, would slowly cloud her judgment that she might have other feelings for him too.