one way

Chapter 33 33

Jiang Fang Diary

Rain on Wednesday 2 February

It has been raining for several days.

There are some weird things in the dream again, copy that poem here, it was also written after waking up from a dream.

Dreamland

I fell asleep again.The dream was produced in the chaotic nerves, and I dragged the dress of the dream from the sky to the earth, from ancient times to the present.

Unconstrained imagination flashes there, from beautiful girls to strange scenes, or a few tears of fright.

My colorful, strange, and chaotic heart filled my whole body.

I'm still sleeping, falling from hallucination to hallucination, from one half-drawn story to another.

Dream!Dream!Dream!Continue my worldly imagination, extend, extend to my whole soul.

When I wake up, my dream lifts up in the sun like water, flies to places I may or may not reach, and lingers there.

I woke up!The waking reality drives out the fantasy of the dream.what!I go on with my life today.

But I know that when I experience the darkness again, when I close my eyes again, my heart will still soar, and I will still have the imagination of leaping thousands of miles.

Is it a dream, or reality?When my body stands in reality, when my soul wanders in dreams, is dream life?

I want to work hard!

I will try my best to keep the dream in my sleep when I wake up!

keep?Those who are not confident have no energy to write again, go to sleep.

It's strange, I'm asleep, and my mind can still turn so much, nerves.

Saturday February 2 sunny

On the construction site, the boss found another group of people to work, and it happened that my uncle didn’t want to do it anymore. I looked around and saw that the construction industry in the county was really sluggish. Throwing everything away, and a few people went to Beijing.

So I had no choice but to lose my job, and I was about to enter my third year of high school. My parents said that you should study hard and don't worry about anything else, just study hard.So I had to continue to attend classes on weekends.

The gossip mentioned above has become a fact. Dozens of students from different classes gather together and take the same teacher's English or Chinese or math class. This makes me very happy. It's not that I can add any knowledge, but It was because Xinyue and I could finally sit in the same classroom for class, or she sat beside me or she sat beside someone else.

I can sit wherever I like, so I always choose a seat at the back and in the corner, which is convenient for me to have a private conversation with Xinyue, and it is also convenient for me to dream about it if I can’t sit together unfortunately Township or read my book.

Sunday February 2th was sunny

I don't have much energy to write in the diary.

The ideal is not the same after all.

accomplish?Let's talk about it after waking up, probably after tens of thousands of hours.

Yang Yong never sent a letter or even a phone call. Molly was very disappointed, thinking maybe he really didn't like her, but the two of them were far apart from each other, and they were both students. They couldn't be like others and never give up. You can also run to his face to chase, helpless, strengthen the belief that you have already firmly established before, wait, wait until one day you can solve it face to face, and then clean up your lost heart and continue to study.

Jiang Fang's life is still turning page by page, studying or not studying, reading or not reading, writing a diary or just staying and playing, the most important thing is also the most comfortable for him, or Mo Too much to fall in love with Lin Xinyue.It should be said that Jiang Fang's life is still good. Except for money, he has done well in all the things that can produce happiness, but Jiang Fang still has no mood to be happy.When he was happy, he might be able to temporarily forget it, but when he calmed down, he had to face a reality—his family was poor and embarrassing.

My father still leaves early and returns late, and his frail body looks even thinner. My second brother called and said that there was overtime work every day. My mother just said that if you are tired, you should take a break and eat delicious food. Don’t get tired.Jiang Fang turned his face away, and walked slowly to the small bridge alone, lying on the bluestone slab, staring straight at the sky.

The long-awaited thought jumped out again, Jiang Fang thought that he could no longer be so chaotic and neither right nor left, he had to make a decision, either put down his heart and study hard, or just come down, and can't do this anymore mixed up.So Jiang Fang began to think, thinking about the future, after the third year of high school, he will go to university, the university should be four years, can he survive it?For his family is also for himself, he can study hard and find a job to earn money after graduation, his father can rest, and his second brother doesn't have to work so hard to work overtime, he is relieved, okay?

Jiang Fang thinks that these things are still negotiable, but the basis of all this is that even if the school continues to waive the tuition for the third year of senior high school, it seems that the university is 1 yuan a year, and more than [-] yuan is not counted as his own food, drink and clothing. What about four years—how much is four years worth?And I'm afraid this has to be counted down, if there are more - don't even think about it.

Moreover, even if this school can be exempted and relatives and neighbors can borrow, then he can go to school with peace of mind, in case... in case one can't help it and stabs a trick, he probably doesn't care , but the countless expectant eyes behind him turned into disappointment in an instant, and he was full of guilt and fidgeted.Can he really carry so many hopes?Can he carry it?This is a cliff with no retreat, only forward.

And, even if he graduates successfully, can he find a good job?A lucrative career?Even if he can find a good job and earn a lot of money, can he continue to do it?

And in this long connection, it is impossible for him to play, read, and fall in love as he used to. He has to give up his restless heart to let it settle down, and he has to look at his father and mother. , the second brother, or the younger brother for several years of hard work, how much can he really repay them in the end?Can he really give up his freedom, his wandering, his joy, his dream for this?

I turned around and thought, if his family had money, at least if he didn’t have to work so hard, he would definitely have fun and graduate from college, but now he has neither money nor a peaceful heart to study , what should he do?So all thoughts are lost.

After all thoughts were lost, Jiang Fang began to think about what to say to his parents. After pondering for a long time, he decided not to say anything for the time being, until he had the travel expenses and could leave as soon as he wanted, so as not to have too many words to stuff his ears, and Some nostalgia.

On the way to school the next day, when I passed a street, I saw a boy in school uniform kneeling on the side of the road, about [-] or [-] years old. There was a big white paper in front of him with black characters on it. Jiang Fang knew it without looking. What is it, I usually give one yuan and fifty cents, but this time—I wanted to go around, but suddenly folded it back, took out a pen and asked for a piece of paper nearby, and wrote:

I won't say anything if you're a liar.

If you really have this matter, I have to give you some pity.

You examine yourself, your hands and feet are intact, you should stand up, you shouldn't beg, let alone kneel, you should respect yourself, don't you go to school to die?If you don't die, there is another way.

If you are still kneeling, I think I should give you a knife.

Putting it in the man's hand and leaving, Jiang Fang's decision became more firm because of this.

Jiang Fang thought that even if he left, he should go in a more unrestrained manner, leaving a shadow after he left, so that they could miss and recall, Jiang Fang began to change the rare rules, learn and play hard.Only when facing Lin Xinyue, he couldn't maintain the joy after this decision, and felt a little uncomfortable. Lin Xinyue sensed something was wrong, and asked him what's wrong, Jiang Fang turned around and said it was all right.

He began to cherish this relationship even more. He was really reluctant to part with it, but he had to give it up temporarily. He really didn't know whether he could continue this relationship once he parted, so he could only love it for a day and a day.

Jiang Fang didn't tell anyone about this decision, but just kept it silently in his heart and waited for that moment to come.He won the first place in the whole year in the mid-term exam, and he took the first place in the final exam in the whole year. He held Lin Xinyue's hand, he hugged her body, he smelled the fragrance in her hair, and he was still in the final exam. On the day of the grade test, I finally couldn't help kissing her lips. Her lips were as fragrant as he imagined in countless dreams, but he was about to say goodbye to her. He kissed her desperately, reaching the corner of his eyes. Wet and sad, and those farewell words can't be said.

Seeing his name hanging high on the leaderboard, he felt very relieved, and he could finally get rid of the troubles in his heart and start another path again, although there was an uncontrollable sadness in this relief.Jiang Fang didn't ride the car, so he just led it and walked back slowly. After more than ten miles, he came up to Yewei with sore legs. After talking to his parents, he simply cleaned up and left his father alone. In a fit of rage or something else, a man ran along the road to the big weir. He was completely soaked and out of breath, lying on the grass.

Before dawn in the morning, I stood silently by my father's bed for a moment, then took my luggage and left.My mother gave me a ride, and my mother said, "Why are you so stubborn?"

Jiang Fang said: "Okay, Mom, you go back, I'll just go by myself."

Sitting in the car, watching the houses, fields and trees on both sides recede one after another, sadness welled up in his chest, thinking of the letter to Lin Xinyue that might still be lying in the mailbox at this moment, he couldn't help but silently recited it again :

Joy:

Good luck!

I'm sorry, I didn't tell you face to face, because I dare not face it, I'm afraid I can't accept any expression from you.

I have decided to leave, and this should have been decided two years ago, and it is only today that it is realized. Maybe... maybe the reason why God let me stay for two more years is so that I can get to know you here.

This is my luck.I'm really reluctant, but I have to leave. As for the reasons, I don't want to go into details. I just want to explain that I have to. But for this, I can only feel sorry for you.

i have decided to leave

Wipe away all the helplessness with a wave of hands

can't take anything

There is only a starry sky in front of my eyes

If you can't help but feel sad because of my departure

I can only wipe away the tears falling from the corners of my eyes

Everything in front of me seems confused and far away

but i have no choice

I can only go straight down the road in front of me

Yes, there are too many helplessness in the world

But the god of fate does not know where to sleep

if you are really in pain

I can only say sorry

Staring at the moonlit night

pointing to a star

say it's your eyes

Please forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye. If possible, I will definitely come back to you after you graduate. This is my promise.

All things are precious!

Jiang put on

Thinking adds a lot of sadness, but what can you do, come down?There is no need to worry about the latter, but how much can you ask about the former?This is already an arrow shot out vigorously, a straight one-way street without a loop!

(Finish)