one way

18

The disease was very sudden, without any warning in advance, a person who was alive and kicking just now collapsed in a blink of an eye.After a day of farm work, I went around the field to finish crushing the wheat, pushed the grass piles together, and covered the plastic sheet before eating. I was tired, but I still watched TV before going to bed. I felt bloated in the middle of the night. I didn't care, I just thought that my stomach would be fine after I ate badly, but I couldn't bear it for a while, not only was it swollen, but it also hurt very much, the whole stomach was like a balloon that was squeezed by someone's hand That way, it swells there without cracking.

Jiang's father hurriedly got up and carried Jiang Fang to the medical point in the village to fetch water, but before a bottle was lifted halfway, Jiang Fang yelled no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jiang's father was so busy that he asked someone to help him to the hospital in the town.The operation was performed under anesthesia. Although I was a little conscious, I was still groggy, and there was no pain at all.A lot of stitches were sewed on the appendix, and only a tube was exposed, which was used to drain the dirt inside. According to my mother, the doctor said it was acute appendicitis. If it came a little later, the consequences would be much more serious.

Jiang Fang couldn't move at all, he was lying straight, with patients on the left and right, and the crying and crying of some patients or their family members could be heard from time to time in the adjacent ward, which made people feel heartbroken.I can’t eat anything except some salt water every day. My whole body is as soft as if my muscles and bones have been removed, and I’m very thin in vain. It’s really a good bone.

Many relatives and neighbors came to visit. Jiang Fang didn't bother to say a word and didn't have the strength to say anything. He stared at the ceiling except for sleeping.I asked my parents to take a few books to read, and I felt a bit of an epiphany, but unfortunately it was just a comprehension.Hearing that someone died in the ward next door, one after another miserable howling mixed with the smell of medicine, Jiang Fang really felt very uncomfortable.Fortunately, I didn't live in this hospital for a long time, and I could go home to recuperate after a dozen days, and the breathing time at home seemed like a lifetime away.

When I get home, I still lie down, and occasionally sit for a while, but it is no longer the white eyes, but the sky, clouds, and stars in the sky, as well as the moon and various sounds, and the air is fresh and full of life. trembling.Standing up and squatting will affect the wound, and walking a little farther will cause dizziness and weakness, all of which require human care.

A bowl of egg soup every morning, and his parents often buy something that can replenish blood to make soup for him. The two younger brothers are also very attentive, but Jiang Fang knows what this means. The food that has just been collected is almost sold out. The previous thoughts jumped out again, but the parents still disagreed.Immediately, Jiang Fang fell into that kind of ideological struggle again, and the experience he had experienced a year ago reappeared. He beat himself in his heart every day, and stayed in a daze all day long.

Liu Susu and Mo Li visited him together once, which made Jiang Fang feel a lot more at ease, and they did not look down on him because of his family's poverty, which also comforted Jiang Fang's inferiority complex.Seeing his father dragging his tired body out early and returning late, Jiang Fang sighed and said to himself, let's continue.Once the decision is made, the subsequent matters will be easy to handle. Even if there are some fluctuations, it is just a small episode, but it just adds a few different colors to Jiang Fang's melancholy.

The most important thing for Jiang Fang now is to nourish his body, so he needs books to calm his heart. After reading the textbooks, he doesn't want to read them again. When did I buy a set of "History of Chinese Literature", I thought about it hard, and then I remembered that I didn't know which muscle was wrong a few years ago. Maybe I was obsessed with literature, a mysterious and tempting word. I bought this set of books for nearly 100 yuan, but I started to feel irritable after turning a few pages, so I threw it aside.

This time, the immobile body just happened to be able to take a look at it, and this turn was different from that time, with a somewhat amazing feeling, Jiang Fang read it word by word, and began to write notes, and then thought of nothing He fell headfirst into it.By the time this comes out again, school is about to start, and Jiang Fang's body has recovered to a good degree, at least he can do normal ups and downs, and he has read the "History of Chinese Literature" roughly, although he can't understand it. How much, but the ones that melted into his heart were enough to put a frame on Jiang Fang's thoughts, and some of the fixed ones became more firm because of it. He actually missed that dog a little bit.

That dog belonged to Jiang Fang's family, but it was raised by family members other than Jiang Fang.The dog was brought by my younger brother. It is white with some black spots, and one eye is big and the other is small, but this does not affect its mood. It is cute, it is equally lovable, except for Jiang Fang, Jiang Fang looked at it as if he saw a random dog on the side of the road.After growing up, the family did not keep it in captivity, it was very free, except for coming back to eat some food at regular intervals, it hardly stayed at home day and night.

During the day, I wander around, and many Huijiangfang can see it far away, even four or five miles away. At night, I just find a place to sleep casually, which is really very comfortable.Seeing it in the distance one day, Jiang Fang suddenly felt that there must be something in common between him and it, so since then he would often look at it and laugh, looking at the scattered black flowers in its white hair. Madara, and those obviously different-sized eyes.

It plays with every dog ​​and wanders around the four wild villages. In Jiang Fang's eyes, it is definitely the incarnation of a free elf. But one day we can't see it. After several days, it still hasn't come back. Jiang's father said it was missing. He heard a dog barking the night before, but he didn't pay attention to it. Now he thought it was probably hunted and killed by a dog dealer.Some people also said that they saw a big puddle of blood in the field of the neighboring village, and it probably belonged to it, and they never came back, so everyone believed that it was indeed hunted down.

Jiang Fang also believed it, but he was more willing to believe that it was wandering freely somewhere, looking around the world with a pair of eyes of different sizes, and then picked up some food to fill its stomach, and slept in the embrace of heaven and earth. The stars fell asleep, and the corner of the mouth in the dream smiled.

Jiang Fang really missed that dog a lot, and then smiled thinking about it.

The third child brought back a letter, and Jiang Fang was a little delighted at first glance. The letter was from the "Star" magazine. He tore it open and took out two pieces of paper. One was as hard as a certificate that Jiang Fang had received. , but the size is much smaller, and there are words on it:

"Star Cup" Literary Works Grand Prix

admission certificate

Jiang Fang Author:

Your entry "Embracing Youth" manuscript number "46-090" has a certain level of creation. After being reviewed by the judges, it won the Excellence Award and won the final right for the first, second and third prizes.

Idiopathic this card!

"Star Cup" Literary Contest Review Committee

August 8, XX

That article was written by Jiang Fang on a whim while listening to the sound of the wind and rain outside on a rainy afternoon. At that time, he saw a call for papers in a magazine, and he wrote it with the pride of writing on that rainy day. sent it out.Unexpectedly, such a small test would have such a big harvest, Jiang Fang became more convinced that he definitely has the talent in this area, so he hurriedly took the second piece of paper and looked down, his heart suddenly became cold—— Pay the reexamination fee of 38 yuan, and:

……

6. Winners of first, second, third prizes and excellence prizes will be employed as special correspondents of our agency. Two one-inch bareheaded photos of you are required, as well as your age, occupation and some resumes;

7. All award-winning works will be honored to be compiled into a collection, and excellent manuscripts will be recommended to other magazines or newspapers or directly published in this magazine, and the manuscript fee will be favorable;

8. The above-mentioned one hundred yuan must be remitted to Wang Qingfengshou, the paper solicitation office of "Star" magazine before September [-]th. Those who fail to pay after the deadline will be treated as abstention.

Jiang Fang smiled.What bothers Jiang Fang most now is money. Do you want to participate in the re-examination? It costs 38 yuan. If you don’t participate, you may lose a chance. Besides, if you are lucky enough to win the first, second or third prize, you will also earn money. is not it.

After hesitating for several days, Jiang Fang still gritted his teeth and remitted 38 yuan. As for the [-] yuan, he gave up after thinking about it for several nights, and sent a letter instead, roughly saying: My family I am poor and have no money left, but I think it would be joyful if I could compile them into a collection, and it would be an honor for my parents.

Jiang Fang didn't dare to tell others, and sometimes wanted to show off, but after thinking about it for a while, he lost his confidence and ignored it, but often turned out the certificate and looked at Lele himself.

The new school started at the beginning of the school year. The new school was built in the outskirts, adjacent to the martyrs' cemetery, and the rear three sides were farmland.The new school was newly built, and it was completed before the start of the school year. The classrooms could still smell the residual paint and paint. Because of the newness, the classrooms were very loud, and even whispered words were shocking.

The newly built school has only the high school, and the junior high school is still there.Many students were delighted by the environment of the new school. The surroundings are green; the crops in the fields, the trees on both sides of the criss-crossing roads; the air is fresh for a long time without noisy cars.The only pity is that the white flowerbeds and earthen graves in the martyrs' cemetery, separated by the courtyard wall, prevent many timid students from going to the playground alone at night.

The new school is very big, and the playground can accommodate several football or basketball courts. Although it is not as big as the old school's current junior high school playground, it still feels bigger because it is integrated with the school.Everything is new and strange, but the classmates and teachers still have the same old faces, except for those new students.

Jiang Fang's tuition is still waived by the school, so he doesn't care, and doesn't care about him.The body has gradually returned to normal, so besides the normal class, I still have to do odd jobs at my uncle's construction site on weekends.The new school is far away from home, so Jiang Fang has become a complete boarding student. Regarding learning, Jiang Fang feels that he is just a machine. After being charged and pressurized, the switch will start. He was thankful for doing his homework normally, and being able to find some fun in it every once in a while made him very happy.

Even playing is not so passionate, I still read books after class, or because of the set of "History of Chinese Literature", my heart has not been fully released, and I am still sinking in it.

He often looks at the distant scenery through the window.Jiang Fang's location is still very good, by the window, he can have a panoramic view of all the scenery without any hindrance as soon as he raises his head and tilts his head slightly.He likes to admire these ordinary but beautiful scenery, the endless green, even in class, he often opens the window to feel the wind blowing, definitely like a lover's hand, although he may not understand the lover's hand blowing What does the face feel like.When I close my eyes, I feel a kind of free life floating around me, flowing in my heart.

At night, I often go to the field to lie down on the grass alone, or walk in the forest, looking up at the starry sky and breathing, and the door of thought is opened bit by bit:

Jiang Fang's diary on Tuesday, September 9, with heavy rain

Man is not evil, but he is subject to his own interests;

Man loves only himself in the object of his love; man's attachment to other beings of his own kind is only based on love for himself; man cannot be separated from himself for a moment in his life, because he cannot ignore himself; It is necessary for the good of man to love others, for they are necessary to his own happiness; and when a man is wholly detached from himself, all motivation to cling to others is lost;

Social interest is only an abstraction, it is nothing but the sum total of individual interests . . . the individual interest is the only real interest.

——Quoted on page 21 of "History of Chinese Literature"

Helvetius, Holbach, Bentham

(Holy Family pp. 169-170)