Sex with a Ghost 1&2

After the fourth bottle of his favourite beer; Guinness Stout which he believes is a form of man-power he asked the barman

"Do you believe in ghost?"

"Why are you downcast? Have you lost your job?" he asked looking at him with suspicion.

"Nigerians, must we always reply a question with another question. Do you believe in ghost, yes or no?"

"Yes I do…" the barman responded waiting to see where this was headed for he knew it's the alcohol speaking.

"Have you seen or met any?" he asked slowly raising his head from the bottle, staring and studying his facial expression.

"No, I haven't met any but probably have seen. When my mother passed away, I could still see her walking around the house; cooking and disturbing things in the kitchen. I woke up sometimes to see her seated beside my bed smiling down at me. I think at that time, her spirit hasn't let go of some earthly things".

"Hmm, so you believe some spirits live among us?"

"Yes they do, especially those who died a horrible death at when wasn't their time"

"Alright, so can a spirit have sex with the living?"

"Yes, I think they can…"

"Really?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have heard stories where someone who died in a particular place comes to live a different life in another place; even get married and give birth to children"

"Even give birth to children?" he inquired shocked, David had never heard of such.

"Yes, living happily with their spouses"

"This is interesting. So how do you get rid of them because you can't kill what is already dead right?" he asked laughing to make it seem like a joke concealing his dismay.

"Let me tell you a true story which will better answer your numerous questions…"

"I love you already. Oh sorry, I love the story already…"

The barman smiled, took one mouth down from his beer and began

"About six years ago, a couple moved into my neighbourhood. They had a child a baby girl already and in a space of two years they gave birth to another. The husband was a bus driver and the wife had a shop where she sold food. She was well known as "Mama Baby".

This couple was the envy of everyone; they seemed to be made in heaven for each other. The wife basically worshipped the husband and he in return adored the wife. They went to church every Sunday, smiled at everyone while greeting; it was indeed a beautiful family.

One cold evening, people were seated in front of her shop eating and discussing as usual. She was attending to some customers inside; a stranger past through the window probably saw her and slowly came back.

"Eli-za-beth!" he called out. No reply came back.

"Eli-za-beth!" he called again, yet she didn't reply.

"That's Mama Baby, not Elizabeth" a customer seated outside corrected the stranger.

"That's a lie. That's Elizabeth, I knew her very well back in Ghana" he said pushing through to get closer to her and called out again "Elizabeth!"

People who witnessed the happening said, "Immediately she raised her head and met his gaze, she disappeared into thin air and a strange wind washed through everyone present". We never saw Mama Baby again, not long after the husband moved away with the daughters" he concluded.

"I don't get, why did she disappear?" David asked looking puzzled.

"We gathered afterwards from the stranger that Mama Baby lived once in Ghana as Elizabeth. She was a younger sister to his best friend. She died from a car accident on her way from school. Both of them dated briefly before she passed away. She had always loved Nigeria and its people. He was there when she was made to lay six feet below".

"Hmm that's strange," he said rubbing his skin covered in goosebumps.

"Elizabeth came to Nigeria to complete the life she couldn't in Ghana before death took her".

"So why exactly did she run away?"

"I guess it's because the stranger called her by her real name; the name she answered in her previous life. That basically means she has been exposed and the next thing to do was runaway".

"Where could she have possibly gone to?"

"How do you expect me to know that?" He paused staring at the roof in wonder what his friend is thinking; then continued "Maybe to another country, town, heaven, probably hell; who gives a fuck? Why you are asking me all these questions by the way?"

"Nothing, am just curious that's all"

"Are you sleeping with a ghost?" he laughs out loud and paused making a face "I know you are a sharpshooter, can sleep with anything that has a hole"

Wearing a forced he replied "Truly am just curious. The beer is giving me ideas…"

"Alright. It has been long I saw you with a new chick oh. What is happening?"

"Christ found me. I'm a new creation…" David said wearing a smile at one side of his lips looking away.

"If Christ finds you, it means hell is filled up. They are just pushing the rest of us to heaven" both of them giggled till the barman left to attend to another customer.

Now alone, David smiled a little. So his problem has a solution after all. Who said a church is the only solution to your problems? Clearly, that person has never been to such a bar; sometimes a beer parlour can provide the solution to all your problems.

He is going to do exactly what that stranger did to Mama Baby; call her by her real name and watch her disappear from his life. She is now more like a nightmare dressed like a daydream. Even the bible said, "Light and day have nothing in common; so the living and the dead can't be having sex". She has to go and it is happening his night. He drank some more beer and ordered another for morale boost which the barman refused to give, saying he has had enough.

"Fucking barman; fuck you big time…" he screamed leaving the place back home dead drunk.