Reluctantly Willing

"Lay on the bed." An Xiaoyan buried his face into the pillow and bit his lips, wishing things to end quickly.

Gu Jun's temper hadn't cooled down yet. As he looked at An Xiaoyan's thin and pale body, a strong lust surged within and engulfed him.

…

When it was finally over, An Xiaoyan's body didn't feel like his anymore. It hurt so badly that his every nerve seemed to be burning.

Afterward, Gu Jun lit a cigarette and sat at the edge of the bed.

The alcohol had worn off. He was fully sober now.

Now he didn't know how to face the consequences of his impulsive action. An Xiaoyan wasn't like those people in the club. What Gu Jun had done had far surpassed his hatred.

This was a mistake. Gu Jun put on his clothes. Glancing at the person lying on the bed, he turned and left.

By the time An Xiaoyan woke up, it was already past noon. The sunlight streaming through the window shocked him. He missed work!

Struggling to get up, the mess on his body reminded him of his pathetic night.

Gu Jun, why did you do this? You can hit me if you hate me, but why do you have to humiliate me?

When An Xiaoyan limped over to the restaurant, he was told that he had been fired.

He held in his hand his salary for the past month, a thin stack of bills, and chuckled bitterly. Indeed, physical labor was worth nothing.

That night, An Xiaoyan had a nightmare. He was in prison, curling up as a group of people beat him up. Then the people suddenly changed into Gu Jun. No matter how he dodged, Gu Jun could always reach him with a kick.

An Xiaoyan shot up, awake and drenched in sweat.

Lying on bed, he couldn't fall back asleep no matter what. Reminiscing his jail life, An Xiaoyan grew more depressed.

He had thought that he could do his time peacefully while working at the infirmary, but the reality was always much crueler.

In his last year, the warden suddenly notified him that he couldn't be the doctor anymore. An Xiaoyan didn't know why. It was just like how his sentence was suddenly extended two years ago.

"The higher-ups sent a notification that criminals can't take up jobs in the prison anymore. You need to go back to a regular cell."

Dong Zi had said that someone like An Xiaoyan would either get beaten or f*cked to death in jail. He looked like a good and honest person, and those people were always bullied.

As expected, the day An Xiaoyan entered jail he had been carrying a target on his back.

It started with some provocative words that soon evolved to physical abuse. An Xiaoyan would get carried to the infirmary covered in blood after each incident.

The new doctor couldn't help but gasp at An Xiaoyan's injuries.

Thankfully, An Xiaoyan had helped the guards before, so they protected him from rapes at least.

However, that was all the guards could do. After all, sexual abuse is prohibited by law even in jail, whereas beating someone up was another matter.

Even his last month prior to his release was spent in the hospital. He kept receiving new wounds before the old wounds were fully healed, and they became old wounds when there were newer ones, so did the cycle repeat.

The next morning, An Xiaoyan left the apartment. He needed a job. He needed to survive.

Walking on the street, suddenly there was a familiar person. An Xiaoyan heard someone calling "Brother" before he could recognize who he was.

"How come you're here?"

"Brother, didn't I tell you to come find me after you're released? Why didn't you come? Thankfully, I had some friends help to locate you. The city's so big. I couldn't find you if one of my friends didn't happen to know your landlord."

"Such a coincidence."

Small world, An Xiaoyan thought, gazing at Dong Zi who'd gotten taller.

"Brother, let's go. We can chat."

Dong Zi dragged An Xiaoyan away before he was able to react. Soon An Xiaoyan was taken into a warehouse. It looked shoddy from the outside, but the inside was quite clean.

"This is the place Boss gave me to live in. How is it? Looks bad on the outside, but pretty good inside, huh?"

Hearing the word "Boss," An Xiaoyan couldn't help but furrow his brows. When they were in prison he had told Dong Zi to work honestly and stay away from those people. Now, it seemed that his advice went unheeded.

"Brother, why are you so quiet?"

An Xiaoyan snapped out of his own thoughts and managed a smile at Dong Zi.

"I tell you, brother, I'm on my high time now. I have a bunch of people under me. They're all older than me, but they all call me Big Brother. They're all so polite to me because I went to jail for some years for Boss."

"Dong Zi, leave them. Don't hang with them anymore."

"Brother, what are you talking about? They're great to me. They're not as bad as you think. Boss even promised to give me a bunch of money."

Hearing money, An Xiaoyan was provoked. Is money all-powerful? Why can the rich just destroy people and change their lives at a whim?

But he controlled himself. He wasn't an impulsive 20-year-old anymore. "Dong Zi, there are many beautiful things in the world that deserve your appreciation. Money isn't the only thing."

Dong Zi noticed that something was wrong and quickly asked An Xiaoyan what was wrong.

"I'm alright. I have to go now."

"Brother, are you gonna be a doctor again? You looked really skilled in prison. You'll be a good doctor in the future."

"I won't ever be a doctor again."

Dong Zi didn't understand. Isn't skills matter the most for one to be a doctor? Or are they going to allow people who don't have the skills to be a doctor?

"Alright, I'm leaving now. Take care. Try not to get into fights. You're still young; you'll understand in the future."

Before Dong Zi could reply, An Xiaoyan was already leaving the warehouse. Dong Zi hurriedly ran after him.

"Brother, since we know where each other lives now, I can visit you or you, me every now and then. I'll make hot pot for you someday to make up for all the meat you gave me in jail."

Hearing this, An Xiaoyan's lips curled into a faint smile. He remembered. An Xiaoyan had thought that Dong Zi had turned into one of those gangsters, but it seemed that he was still a kid.

"Sounds good, I'll test your cooking skills when I have time." Pain seized An Xiaoyan from behind after a few steps. He kept it in the entire way back, but it felt like something was flowing out with the pain being to an extreme extent. His body heated up too. An Xiaoyan knew that he was sick.

He asked around for a small hospital in a remote area. He didn't dare go to any of those big ones. People would probably laugh at his current state. It would be even more embarrassing if he ran into some people he knew from before.

When the doctor saw this patient with bloodless face and lips, who couldn't walk steadily, he quickly had him lay on the bed and take off his pants.

"Where's your boyfriend? Your injury is very so serious. How come you didn't come earlier? Your boyfriend didn't come with you either. You youngsters really need to know your limits. Going so hard when you're infected, are you trying to kill yourself? Don't eat anything hard to digest for a month, and I'm prescribing you with IV drip for a week. By the way, this "circle" can be really messy. Remember to wear condoms in the future. Otherwise, you won't even know if you get infected!"

These things were not uncommon to be seen in small hospitals. Patients who came here all because they were too ashamed to go to the bigger ones.

"I need to go back as soon as possible. Can you give me the IV? I can do it myself at home."

The doctor stared at him in shock. "You can't even come to the hospital? Who's your boyfriend? Let me call him!"

"I don't have a boyfriend," An Xiaoyan whispered. "I'm a med student. I know how to do this."

The doctor sighed, probably thinking that An Xiaoyan was another poor guy trapped in a toxic relationship. "Alright. Be sure to come promptly if something like this happens again and leave those *ssholes! Your body is yours. Take care of it."