Reluctantly Willing

Humans are always greedy, the more you get, the more you desire.

Gu Jun was no exception. He looked at An Xiaoyan, who was by his side, and felt that since he had his body, he wanted his heart too.

“Guo Guo, the big yellow duck is back. Are you going to play on it?” An Xiaoyan led the big yellow duck and tied it to the side of the swimming pool.

“Uncle, watch me climb.” Guo Guo broke away from Gu Jun’s embrace, hugged the tail of the big yellow duck and climbed up.

The big yellow duck was about two meters long, with a flat area in the middle of it. Guo Guo could just lie on the belly of the big yellow duck and paddle in the water.

“I’ll go swimming in the deep water first. You stay here with Guo Guo.”

An Xiaoyan nodded and watched Gu Jun leap from the pool to the ground, and walked over to the deep end. Gu Jun jumped in with a loud splash.

The water temperature was just right. Even if one could not swim, it felt very comfortable in the pool.

Suddenly, there were many smaller size “big yellow duck” floating in the water. An Xiaoyan wondered why, and Guo Guo giggled at him.

Looking at the actions of Guo Guo, An Xiaoyan finally realized that the head of the duck could be opened. There were many yellow ducks of different sizes hidden in the duck’s head. Guo Guo took the ducks out and put them on the water.

Thinking of the word “duck”, An Xiaoyan recalled that not too long ago, many people on the internet were calling him a “gigolo”. They were all ducks; people who would simply believe what they are told. This memory dampened his mood a bit.

“Uncle, paddle.”

An Xiaoyan put his thoughts aside, carried Guo Guo and played with him on the surface of the water. Although Guo Guo was taught several swimming lessons by the teacher, he was too young to learn how to float on water. However, he still had a good time.

Tired of playing, Guo Guo went ashore and went to the smaller pool nearby to play with the water. An Xiaoyan stayed in the 1.5 meter pool and wandered back and forth.

Out of curiosity, he suddenly immersed himself in full under the water, trying to feel what it felt like to be completely immersed in it.

But just after being immersed in the water for ten seconds, a pair of big hands pulled him out. He opened his eyes and saw Gu Jun’s nervous face.

Gu Jun looked over from the other side of the pool but he did not see anyone in the pool. He looked around for a while and still could not find anyone.

He was afraid, afraid that An Xiaoyan would choose an extreme way to end his life. He jumped right into the pool and saw a man underwater, and then pulled him up with one hand.

An Xiaoyan was confused why Gu Jun looked so afraid. “An Xiaoyan, don’t kill yourself.”

“Mr. Gu, I just wanted to feel the water. I did not try to kill myself.”

Gu Jun’s shoulder suddenly relaxed. It’s good that you didn’t try to kill yourself.

Looking at Guo Guo playing happily in the small pool, he took An Xiaoyan to the deep pool.

When they reached the side of the pool, An Xiaoyan retreated. He could not swim in a 2m deep pool. If Gu Jun were to throw him in, he would surely drown.

“Mr. Gu, I’m wrong. I shouldn’t have gone underwater to play.”

His hair was still dripping wet. Gu Jun looked at An Xiaoyan’s wet face and hugged his waist. “Don’t be afraid, I’ll support you from below.”

At all times, I am your guardian. Standing behind you, protecting you.

There was a big splash in the pool, and the loud splash caught Guo Guo’s attention, but he just took one glance and continued playing alone again.

An Xiaoyan’s body was completely surrounded by water and his waist was propped up. At this moment, An Xiaoyan felt like a fish swimming in the water.

Only when Gu Jun could not hold it anymore and needed to take a breath would he carry An Xiaoyan up. After that, he would return underwater to drag An Xiaoyan forward. With some swift moves, they soon reached the end of the 50 meter swimming pool.

The moment when the both of them came out of the water, they were each inadvertently looking straight into the other’s eyes.

An Xiaoyan leaned on the staircase, propped himself up, wiped the water off his face, and said a “thank you” to Gu Jun.

“Do you feel comfortable?”

An Xiaoyan nodded his head. His body felt really light underwater. The buoyancy of the water and Gu Jun’s support made him float effortlessly.

Although he only supported him for a distance of 50 meters, Gu Jun was fatigued. He went ashore and sat on the ground. The two men chatted on and off.

“In the future, when I’m not around, you can come here. You can bring Guo Guo along too. If you want to learn swimming, I will tell the swimming instructor to come over here.”

“Thank you.”

An Xiaoyan looked at Guo Guo in the distance, but in his mind, he was wondering why Gu Jun treated him this way. Shouldn’t he hit me or force himself on me?

“In two days’ time, go to the hospital and have a follow up examination of your legs.”

“No, there’s no need to as my legs are well already.”

“It is alright. Just check to see if there’s anything wrong.”

After a while, An Xiaoyan said, “Mr. Gu, you don’t have to treat me like that. Just treat me like how you treated me before, I’m not worth it.”

Sorrow poured into Gu Jun’s heart. He said, “An Xiaoyan, don’t ask the reason, just enjoy it.”

Someday, I’ll openly confess my feelings to you. Then, you will understand.

Guo Guo was tired of playing and shouted “uncle”. An Xiaoyan walked over and picked him up.

Gu Jun knew that his son relied on An Xiaoyan a lot, but he did not think that the reliance was so strong that his son would totally ignored his presence even though he was right beside him.

“That’s all for today.”

“Okay.” Guo Guo lied on An Xiaoyan’s body and the three of them went into the house to change their clothes.

When they came out, the sun had just set, like a holy light, hovering over the three of them.

…

February passed quickly, and March arrived. Guo Guo was ready to attend school. The company began to resume its business and Gu Jun was gradually getting busier.

On the first day of school, An Xiaoyan did not forget his task. He got up early to prepare Guo Guo’s little school bag.

Gu Jun went downstairs and saw An Xiaoyan sitting quietly in his home clothes. He called up the kindergarten to tell them that Guo Guo would not be attending school today.

“Why is Guo Guo not attending school today?”

“Today is the first day anyway. There won’t be anything important. Let’s go, you’ll drive me out.”

Guo Guo was finally ready to go to school. Upon hearing this sentence, his small face revealed his disappointment.

“Guo Guo, I will bring you ice cream when I come home later. Be good and stay at home,” Gu Jun said.

When Guo Guo heard the words “ice cream”, his little face brightened up immediately and went to the toy pile to continue playing with the toys.

“Go to the garage and get the car.”

An Xiaoyan took the elevator downstairs to the ground floor, pressed the remote key in his hand, and a white car rang not far away.

The white Honda was parked at the back of the garage, not noticeable against the backdrop of a pool of luxury cars.

An Xiaoyan sat in the car, started the engine, put it in gear, and drove the car out of the garage carefully.

When he reached the main door of the villa, Gu Jun stood waiting for him.

As soon as the car stopped, Gu Jun naturally sat in the front passenger’s seat, but An Xiaoyan was not at ease. As long as Gu Jun was around him, he was inexplicably nervous. He did not even know where to put his hand on the steering wheel.

“Let’s go.” Gu Jun set the GPS. Once An Xiaoyan heard the order, he stepped on the accelerator with a sigh.

An Xiaoyan drove slowly. Fortunately, there were not many cars on the road today. As it was the first time An Xiaoyan drove on a road, he was afraid of accidentally colliding with another person’s car, and he kept avoiding cars during the journey. At the end of it all, a half an hour’s drive was dragged out to more than an hour.

Fortunately, Gu Jun was not in a hurry. It was inevitable for new drivers to behave this way on the road. Gu Jun was the same way when he first started.

Finally, he stopped at the entrance of a shopping mall. An Xiaoyan looked in the mirror and reversed the car. After trying several times, he still could not park the car right in the middle of the parking spot. He had a feeling that it was slightly narrower than the one he had practiced on before.

“Get out of the car.”

An Xiaoyan got out of the car obediently and Gu Jun moved from the passenger’s seat into the driver’s seat. After looking into the mirror, he made some turns to the left and right, and soon the car was parked.

An Xiaoyan thought Gu Jun would start scolding him, but after Gu Jun got out of the car, he only said, “Drive more often and you will become more skillful.”

Gu Jun had brought him to a mall before, but that was last winter. Now, in retrospect, it seemed to be a very distant memory.

This mall which they visited today was a new place.

This was a place which Gu Jun frequently visited. However, he had never brought anyone here before, not even any over the girls whom he’d dated.

Leading An Xiaoyan, they made some left and right turns, and finally stopped in front of a small shop. Although it was a small shop, it looked beautiful inside, with a bright style. Several hair stylists were blow drying and cutting hair for their clients; they looked very skillful.

“Mr. Gu, you are here!” a man who looked like thirty or forty years old said to Gu Jun.

This hair salon was a place that Gu Jun often visited, but it was not really a high-end place. When Gu Jun first started his business, he found this place by accident. Although it was a small shop, the hair stylists were skillful and friendly, enough to measure up to the more famous hair salons.

Most importantly, he would feel relaxed here as they would not lavish him with flattery like those hair stylists he met elsewhere.

“Is this gentleman going to have a haircut too?”

“Hmm, you take a look at him and give him a suitable hairstyle.”

One winter had already passed and An Xiaoyan hadn’t had a haircut. His bangs were long enough to cover his eyebrows. Before, he had been staying at home, thus did not pay attention to his appearance.

An Xiaoyan guessed the reason why Gu Jun brought him here today was because he was responsible for bringing Guo Guo to school, so he must not disgrace Guo Guo or Gu Jun.

Gu Jun watched An Xiaoyan sit on the chair, picked the chair next to An Xiaoyan, and sat down. “As for me, the usual hairstyle.”

With the snapping sound of the scissors, hair fell by the inches on the floor. Gu Jun’s eyes were constantly fixed on An Xiaoyan, who was seated next to him. However, An Xiaoyan’s head was bowed the whole time and he could not see An Xiaoyan’s expression at all.

He hoped that An Xiaoyan would live a good and high-quality life. Thus, when he saw An Xiaoyan coming downstairs with his messy hair and casual clothes, he had a sudden urge to change An Xiaoyan’s appearance.

At home, An Xiaoyan had always worn the two same sets of clothes: one grey, one brown, each totally lacking vitality. As for the clothes which he bought for An Xiaoyan last year, An Xiaoyan neatly folded them and kept them in the wardrobe.

Every time Gu Jun opened the wardrobe, he would see that the wardrobe was empty on one side, and on the other side, he saw a neat array of formalwear and casual clothes.

Gu Jun had a simple trim to his hair, and was soon done with his haircut. The hairstylist next to him was meticulously designing a hairstyle for An Xiaoyan.

“Do you think this is alright?” The hair stylist asked An Xiaoyan for advice.

A lot of hair had been cut and there were some bangs in front of his forehead. He looked refreshed and handsome.

“Dye his hair.” Gu Jun suggested.

The hairstylist had the same idea. An Xiao Yan, a fair-skinned man, would look more trendy if his hair was dyed light brown.

“How long will it take?” An Xiaoyan asked in a low voice.

“About four or five hours.”

He felt that the time taken was too long. Gu Jun’s time had always been precious, and today was Monday, he did not want to delay Gu Jun’s work time.

“Mr. Gu, I don’t need these. It’s good to just cut my hair.”

“That’s alright. You can go ahead with the hair dye.”

Having been instructed, the hair stylist went on to pick out the color, and prepared for it. He could see that Gu Jun was very interested in this man. In the past, Gu Jun came alone, came in a hurry and left in a hurry. They knew that Gu Jun was the big boss of a company. Thus, it was rare to see him spending such a sum of time here.

“这个深棕怎么样?”

“How about this shade of dark brown?”

An Xiaoyan took a look, Gu Jun also went over to take a look, “Okay, use this then.”

From beginning to the end, An Xiaoyan did not have the right to speak. He quietly watched the hairstylist move around on his head, and then he could see the light color on his hair.

Gu Jun sat looking at the haircut magazine and went out to make a phone call from time to time.

When everything was done and the hair dryer was put down, Gu Jun felt that An Xiaoyan had transformed into someone else.

He knew that An Xiaoyan had good skin and good looks, but had never been so dressed up before. Now after some tidying up of his appearance, he would surely attract the attention of others, a far cry from his previous self.

“Mr. Gu…Mr. Gu, do I look too ugly? How about cutting it all out?”

“No, Xiaoyan, you look good.”

Gu Jun had no idea when he started to call An Xiaoyan “Xiaoyan”. He felt that addressing An Xiaoyan this way represented a closer relationship between the two of them. Liu Cheng called An Xiaoyan “Yanzi”, so he would call him “Xiaoyan”, his one and only “Xiaoyan”.

An Xiaoyan looked into the mirror and touched his hair. His hair really seemed to look different now.