Reluctantly Willing

The next time Gu Jun returned to the house was after the New Year. He’d obviously made a compromise to come back quickly. He’d given in to Old Mr. Gu by trying to interact with Xiu Yijian.

An Xiaoyan never asked about where Gu Jun went or what he did. He didn’t suspect anything when Gu Jun didn’t come home for a few days. He had no need to ask about Gu Jun’s private life.

When he suddenly saw Gu Jun appear at the door, he was a bit shocked.

“I’m back.” This was like what a husband would say to his wife when he came back home after a long time. This was what Gu Jun thought. He didn’t expect An Xiaoyan to react.

Indeed, An Xiaoyan didn’t do anything.

But when Gu Jun saw An Xiaoyan, he felt reassured. An Xiaoyan, you’re still here. That’s good.

“What did you do while I was gone?”

It was a typical question, but to An Xiaoyan, it sounded like an interrogation. Gu Jun was asking if he’d done anything wrong or went out alone, going against his word.

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t go out either.”

Gu Jun nodded. He changed his clothes and when he went downstairs again, Guo Guo was there too.

When Guo Guo saw Gu Jun, he greeted his daddy and continued playing with toys.

“Mr. Gu, there’s something I want to discuss with you.”

“About work? You can stay home for now and we’ll see when the opportunity comes.”

Clearly, An Xiaoyan wasn’t asking about this. Gu Jun had already rejected him. What was the point of talking about it again?

“I won’t go work. It’s about Guo Guo.”

“What is it?”

“Guo Guo should go to school. If he has a professional teacher’s guidance, he’ll be able to talk like a regular kid soon.”

Gu Jun had never thought about this because he never thought his retard son could improve one day. He’d already prepared to take care of this kid for life.

This was good news.

Gu Jun leaned back in the sofa and gazed at An Xiaoyan, standing to the side. “What do you think?” he asked. “Any opinions on choosing a school?”

He waited for a long time without a reply. Still patient, Gu Jun said, “It’s okay. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

An Xiaoyan took a deep breath. The risk was worth it for Guo Guo, even if he said something wrong.

“I think that Guo Guo should go to a regular kindergarten. If he interacts with more kids, he should be able to catch up more quickly. Of course, it’ll be better if you can send him to a bilingual or elite school.”

An Xiaoyan lost confidence at the end. Gu Jun didn’t place importance on this child, so he wasn’t sure if Gu Jun was willing to spend the money to send Guo Guo to an expensive school.

An Xiaoyan was thinking about money. Gu Jun was thinking about An Xiaoyan’s feelings.

He truly felt that An Xiaoyan put a lot of effort into this kid. Guo Guo was currently building a Gundam robot in the living room. There were papers beside him. He was absorbedly following each step as if accomplishing something great. This was something Gu Jun wouldn’t have seen before. Back in the day, Guo Guo could only cry and make a fuss.

“Do you like this child?”

Frightened, An Xiaoyan answered in panic, “No, I’m only treating him nicely because I am a sinner. I can only lessen my sin by taking care of him. This way, Mr. Gu won’t hate me so much.”

He actually did like Guo Guo. After interacting with Guo Guo for some time, this little kid gave him some comfort when he was lonely. Guo Guo was the reason he kept going when he wanted to give up.

But he couldn’t say he liked Guo Guo. If he did, Gu Jun would think he was kissing up to Guo Guo and take advantage of him. The child was so pure and kind. He shouldn’t become a weapon between An Xiaoyan and Gu Jun.

Like him, hundreds of emotions battled inside Gu Jun. He wished An Xiaoyan said he liked Guo Guo. Then he could use this chance to further their relationship.

“I’ll think about the school and let you know.” Gu Jun was powerless. Whenever An Xiaoyan acted like this, his temper would disappear. It was like hitting soft cotton.

“Thank you.” An Xiaoyan bowed. He didn’t think Gu Jun would agree so easily.

“Go upstairs!”

An Xiaoyan followed behind Gu Jun. He didn’t know what was happening, but Gu Jun told him to go upstairs, so he did.

As soon as he entered Gu Jun’s room, he was pressed against the wall and surrounded by forceful kisses everywhere.

Gu Jun couldn’t take it anymore. He hadn’t seen An Xiaoyan in days and he missed the guy so badly. He missed An Xiaoyan’s familiar scent and the feeling of riding him.

In the lapse when Gu Jun let go, An Xiaoyan panted out, “Mr. Gu, I—I’ll go shower first.”

He was about to leave, Gu Jun grabbed him. He didn’t mind. He wouldn’t mind even if An Xiaoyan had come out of a dumpster.

As always, it was filled with violence and pain. An Xiaoyan bit his lips and turned away so Gu Jun couldn’t see. He’d tossed the lube Zhang Zilan had given him. He didn’t dream for Gu Jun to use it. Gu Jun must want him to be in pain.

After fulfilling his desires from the past few days, Gu Jun hugged An Xiaoyan in satisfaction. This was truly living. It was real when they were together.

“Mr. Gu, it’s time for Guo Guo to eat. I have to go feed him.”

“Okay.” Gu Jun was in a much better mood after getting his fill.

When An Xiaoyan left, Gu Jun’s phone rang on the table. His good mood disappeared immediately.

…

“Ms. Xiu, why did you want to meet up and eat?” Gu Jun said with a terse smile. He’d only been with An Xiaoyan for less than a day and he was dragged out on a date with a girl he’d already seen. He wasn’t happy.

Xiu Yijian ignored Gu Jun’s unhappiness. “Since you agreed to try it, I think we should contact each other more. This way, we can develop feelings.”

F*ck your feelings! Of course, Gu Jun couldn’t say it out loud.

“I think Ms. Xiu must have misunderstood. I said we can try it, but I didn’t say what kind of relationship. Maybe we’re just friends.”

His words were very coincidental. Xiu Yijian’s smile remained. She was unmoved.

“I think you know the consequences if you don’t pretend to date me. Old Mr. Gu won’t let you go.”

Gu Jun grasped his glass. “What do you want? Do you really want to marry me?”

“Why not?”

“You should know that I have a son. You want to be a stepmother that badly?”

“I don’t need any special skills to be the stepmother of a retard son.”

“Who are you calling a retard?” Gu Jun was truly angry. Even if Guo Guo wasn’t smart, only Gu Jun could say that. An outsider had no right!

“Mr. Gu, it’s best if you understand your situation. It’s not good for either of us to make a scene.”

Those words woke Gu Jun up. He couldn’t help but laugh at himself. What power did he have? He liked someone, but he couldn’t say it. Instead, he had to date a woman to hide it.

Even if An Xiaoyan didn’t hate him anymore, Gu Jun still had no chance to hold onto him.

“What do you want?”

Xiu Yijian said some things and walked away, leaving Gu Jun alone in the glitzy restaurant.

She wanted status—the status to enter the Gu family.

So many people dreamed of entering the Gu family. Unfortunately, Gu Jun couldn’t give it to her. He wasn’t willing to.

Xiu Yijian sat in her car and let out a long breath. It was indeed unhealthy to be with someone as suffocating as Gu Jun. After composing herself, she told the driver to start the car.

She turned on her phone. Looking at the deadline on the screen, she grew anxious again.

There were less than three months.

The phone displayed the registration time for an international arts competition. She approached Gu Jun to get the chance to enter the competition. If she could enter, she would definitely win something!

The Xiu family was only a regular business family. They weren’t magnates like the Gu family. The company she worked for wasn’t bad, but they couldn’t get a spot. Now, she could only get a spot by relying on the Gu family.

If she could be engaged to Gu Jun, she could bring up the design competition. Old Mr. Gu was impatient, so he would accept. It didn’t matter if Gu Jun liked her or not. She didn’t have to act gentle before him.

Gu Jun stayed in the restaurant for a long while before going home. By then, An Xiaoyan was already sleeping. There were Gundam toys littered all over the living room. He suddenly got a strange idea and put all the toys into the box like a little kid.

When he cleaned everything up, he crept into An Xiaoyan’s room and hugged the man.

“An Xiaoyan, I like you, you know?”

His voice was so soft that even he couldn’t hear it. He was afraid—afraid that An Xiaoyan would hear.

He was afraid, even though An Xiaoyan was asleep.

“An Xiaoyan, I’m afraid right now. I’m afraid I can’t protect you. If I’m strong enough, I won’t have to worry. Whatever, you don’t understand. Sleep well. Goodnight.”