Reluctantly Willing

Anyone could see that An Xiaoyan was one of the kindest people in the world. People like him do not let the environment change who they are. Not even the warden believed that An Xiaoyan would purposely kill anyone.

"What kind of person do you think An Xiaoyan is?"

Dong Zi wiped away tears. "My brother is very kind to me and to other inmates. He's kind to everyone but himself. He always says that I'm still growing gives me all his meat."

The warden's heart squeezed. In all his years working in the prison, this was the first time he had seen someone like An Xiaoyan and the first time he had ever felt pained for an inmate.

"Go back and tell An Xiaoyan that he can call his family from my office on the 15th of every month."

"Thank you, warden! Thank you!" Dong Zi started kowtowing again.

"Brother, the warden said you can go to his office on the 15th of every month to use his phone."

"Dong Zi, what are you talking about?"

"Brother, I went to beg the warden. He agreed."

Hearing this, An Xiaoyan rebuked, "Dong Zi, don't be so reckless in the future."

"Brother, it's worth it to be reckless for you."

An Xiaoyan stared at Dong Zi gratefully. It was rare to keep one's heart pure in prison.

When it was finally the 15th, once he prepared Dong Zi to take over while he was away, An Xiaoyan went to the warden's room solemnly.

Seeing him walk in, the warden pushed the phone to An Xiaoyan. "You have half an hour, but the phone call will be recorded, so watch your language."

An Xiaoyan nodded. He used his index finger to press the keys that formed the number that was so familiar and yet hadn't been dialed for so long. The beeping in the phone made him so anxious that he felt like his heart had jumped to his throat.

When the call connected, a familiar voice streamed out. Hearing it, An Xiaoyan's tears flowed out.

He covered his mouth, trying not to cry out.

"Hello? Who is this? Is this Yan Zi?"

"Dad, it's me."

"Mommy, it's Yan Zi calling." Hurried footsteps sounded on the other end of the call.

"Yan Zi, where've you been all year? Not even a call. Your mother and I were worried to death."

"Dad, I'm great. I got accepted as a master's student, remember? I'm really busy. There are so many patients every day and I'm exhausted. Thankfully, I have someone helping me."

"Mommy, did you hear that? Our son has an assistant!"

An Xiaoyan couldn't hold his tears back any longer. He could hear how happy and proud his father was through the phone. "Dad, I'm too busy these days and I might not be able to go back home in a few years. I'll go see you once I settle down."

"Yan Zi, it's alright. Your career is most important. Don't worry about us. I heard that the tuition is really expensive. You didn't ask for money for a whole year. Do you need our help?"

An Xiaoyan tried to keep his voice steady. "No, I get paid pretty well while studying here. I can provide for myself. Dad, don't worry."

"Good, good. I'm farming pigs again. When you come back, we'll have some good pork for you."

"Sounds good."

Once he hung up, An Xiaoyan couldn't hold it in anymore. He slumped onto the ground and burst into tears. His dad still remembered that he liked eating meat. His parents were still waiting for him to go home.

Hearing An Xiaoyan's conversation, the warden felt heartbroken. He had a kid, too, and he knew how parents felt when waiting for their children. An Xiaoyan's parents didn't know their son was in here. He knew this was a white lie. Only those who cared about their parents would use this method.

"Kid, don't be sad. Come once a month."

An Xiaoyan didn't know how he made his way back, and as soon as he got back to the infirmary, a guard told him that he had a visitor.

Was it Gu Jun again? Did he come to humiliate me?

But An Xiaoyan didn't expect that it was Liu Cheng who came.

Liu Cheng had thought that An Xiaoyan would be released after a year of imprisonment. He had to ask around to gather that An Xiaoyan was further sentenced for three more years.

"Yan Zi, I'm sorry. I was responsible, too, and there were mistakes with the records. You shouldn't be the only one taking the fall." Liu Cheng was filled with guilt.

"Don't say that. I can take it by myself. You shouldn't be dragged in."

"Yan Zi, how have you been?"

"Great. Don't worry about me. How are the master's studies?"

Liu Cheng didn't think that An Xiaoyan would ask him this so directly. He had never thought that An Xiaoyan would face it straightforward. "Yan Zi, you should have been there with me."

"Liu Cheng, don't come to visit me anymore. I don't want anyone to gossip about you. I'm a murderer, after all. You have your own life."

"Yan Zi, don't say that. We're best friends—best friends. I'll treat you even better from now on. I owe you. Tell me what you need and I'll bring it next time."

An Xiaoyan shook his head. "Liu Cheng, you don't need to treat me so well. I appreciate the gesture."

With that, An Xiaoyan left, leaving Liu Cheng yelling behind.

Liu Cheng, I'm sorry. I care about you, so I can't let you come so often. My life is like this now. I can't have your life derailed for me.

At the corner, An Xiaoyan secretly pressed against the wall and watched Liu Cheng continue to yell. He didn't go back until Liu Cheng finally gave up and left.

Gu Jun hadn't been here in a long time. An Xiaoyan was relieved that he was off Gu Jun's mind and wished it could stay that way. Otherwise, he couldn't imagine how he would end up.

He jinxed himself, however.

An Xiaoyan didn't even dare to look at Gu Jun before him.

"Didn't think I'd come again, did you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know why three more years were added to your sentence?"

"Homicide."

Gu Jun scoffed. "Look at this kid."

The kid beside Gu Jun who appeared to be around two years old looked at An Xiaoyan silently.

"Say 'daddy'."

The kid didn't say anything. He opened his mouth but failed to make any sound.

"You know what? I wasn't planning on extending your sentence, but this kid… Other kids would start to make sounds at one year old, but he couldn't. I have taken him to so many doctors, and they all said that my kid is intellectually challenged and that if one twin is like this, then the other one must be extremely gifted. You, you killed my smart son! You killed my heir!"

An Xiaoyan didn't expect this to be the case. Looking down, he said, "Mr. Gu, I don't know how to compensate for your loss."

"What's your name?"

Guo Guo looked wordlessly at the man across from him.

"He doesn't even talk to his own father and you think he'll talk to you? An Xiaoyan, you think too highly of yourself!"

"Mr. Gu, can't you treat your kid nicely? He's innocent."

"He is innocent, but do you think he'd be like this if not for you?"

"Mr. Gu, I'll pay for my sin after I'm released. But treat him better. He's your son."

Gu Jun took Guo Guo out. He strode with such large steps that Guo Guo struggled to keep up until he fell on the ground with a plop.

Gu Jun didn't even notice until he heard the crying behind him.

"Da…da, Daddy…hurt…"

"What did you call me?"

"D—daddy."

Gu Jun was overjoyed. This kid finally knew who his dad was.

"My dear son, how about daddy carry you out?"

An Xiaoyan was overwhelmed by a mixture of feelings. The kid is innocent, Gu Jun. That's your own son. He couldn't do anything except secretly praying that Gu Jun would take his words seriously.

Dong Zi left after his time was up. When that day came, An Xiaoyan walked him out to the gate, lightly hugged him, and secretly slipped a small bag of something into Dong Zi's pocket.

"Brother, remember to come find me at the address I gave you when you're out."

An Xiaoyan nodded and waved goodbye.

After Dong Zi got into the car, he felt around his pocket and found the bag. He opened it and found money. There was also a line written in clean handwriting: Dong Zi, live well out there. This is your wage for helping me. It's not much, but it'll come in handy.

Three years passed quickly. In spite of the privilege he had as the prison's doctor, the prison system still made him numb.

The day he was released, An Xiaoyan gave the dreary prison one last look and walked toward the sunlight.

When Dong Zi was released, he was the one that saw him out. And when it was his turn, no one came to say goodbye.

The warden stood by the window, watching An Xiaoyan leave, and prayed inwardly. God, please show this kind man a beautiful world.

When An Xiaoyan walked to the gate of the prison, a car lit up and caught his attention. The window rolled down, and it was Liu Cheng.

"Yan Zi, I'm here to pick you up."

"Liu Cheng, thank you."

"Let's go. Your new life has begun."

An Xiaoyan accepted. He put his few belongings into the trunk and sat in the front seat.

"Is this your car?"

"Yeah, bought it with a loan."

"How's your work?"

"It's pretty good. My parents chipped in and helped me open a private hospital. It's not huge, but the profit is good." Liu Cheng didn't know if saying this would hurt Yan Zi, but he knew Yan Zi didn't want him to lie.

"Oh, nice."

"Yan Zi, what are you going to do?"

An Xiaoyan looked outside the window. It had only been four years, but the outside world had changed a lot.

"I don't know. I'll probably start with finding an apartment and a job."

"Yan Zi, do you want to work at my place? You are definitely qualified."

"No need. I've almost forgotten them all. I can't take my chance with patients."