Only Villains Do That

“All right, everyone’s tired, so let’s make this quick.”

I had always wondered why my fortress, a former military outpost built on what had been the frontier of civilization and was now well beyond it, contained a formal dining room. Fortunately I’d never asked anyone, so I only had to be embarrassed in my own head; that was not, in fact, the purpose of the chamber with the long table. Now cleaned and aired out as part of my ongoing campaign to restore North Watch to livability, the conference room was fully lit by bottled light slimes on akorshil stands in the corners, and fragrant with the spicy-sweet scent of Fflyr tea.

“My main goal up to this point has been to recruit the women of Cat Alley,” I continued, “and now they’re here. More the worse for wear than I’d hoped, but at least I have time to make it up to them and the ability to protect them from more reprisals from our enemies in the city. We now pivot to the next stage of the plan, and now that it’s no longer just me and a handful of bandits out here, I’d like to go over our situation, our needs, and our strategy with all of you.”

“And have you planned all the way to the end of world conquest?” Miss Minifrit drawled.

“I’m sure it will be a great comfort to you to know that I’m making this up as I go along,” I said with a pleasant smile. She just raised a wry eyebrow and Sakin laughed, but Kasser’s shoulders slumped and he sank lower in his seat. “However, we are still within the realm of matters I have a strategy for. The next step is securing control of the entire criminal underworld on the whole island. That means killing Lady Gray and destroying or recruiting whatever’s left of her organization in Gwyllthean, and doing the same to the various bandit gangs active in the countryside.”

“You’ll need a plan to deal with Clan Olumnach if you mean to take over their stranglehold on the local bandits,” said Aster.

“I have one. Or more accurately, I have several, depending on how things shape up with regard to them. We’ll put off addressing that in detail because I don’t want to commit to a specific course if events might still push us in a different direction. That’s exactly how Gray kept tripping me up. Likewise, before coming to the end of the current phase I mean to have the next step laid out, but right now we’re going to focus on the more immediate term.”

I paused to take a sip of my tea. By this point I’d learned to actually like the flavor, though it was strong and so different from anything I would have called “tea” at home in Japan that I still inwardly objected to the comparison. Still, they did make it by boiling leaves, so I guess technically…

“First things first,” I said, setting the cup down. “Now that it’s not just eight people in the forest, an actual chain of command is needed. For that, I simply want to formalize the arrangements that have sprung up naturally. Aster, you’re my second in command.”

“General of the Dark Lord’s armies,” she murmured, lifting her own cup and holding it under her nose without taking a sip. “Oh, if only my dad could see me now.”

“Life is strange for us all,” Minifrit said with a wry smile, then took a long drag on her ever-present pipe. The smell of it actually wasn’t unpleasant, a nice counterpoint to the tea—in fact, it had a similar spicy-sweet aroma. Not that I intended to cease nitpicking at her about the constant smoking. Having personally miraculously Healed her of what I’m pretty sure was lung cancer, I felt entitled to make all the comments I wanted.

“Miss Minifrit,” I continued, “if you are amenable, I would like to continue relying on your administrative abilities. You are now in charge of personnel; you’ll be responsible for organizing our people and mediating conflicts in the ranks. Preventing conflicts from arising in the first place, if you can manage it, but I’m not going to ask for miracles.”

She inclined her head. “I’m flattered by your confidence, Lord Seiji. I shall do my utmost.”

“First thing is to get everyone trained and ready to deploy,” I continued. “Right now we’re not planning to field a professional army; banditry requires competence rather than mastery. Training will continue and I’d like to increase everyone’s skills as much as possible over time, but at the moment I need people ready to start raiding caravans and taking down other bandit gangs within a week.”

“One of those sounds rather more dangerous than the other,” Minifrit said, sharp-eyed.

I nodded. “We use ambush tactics and goblin alchemy to minimize any hand to hand combat, but that’s still assuming everything always goes according to plan, which it never does. I’ll be leading operations against gangs myself, so anyone along on those can be Healed at need. For the rest, I want to be able to delegate and have units able to function autonomously. So! What we need now is to get people able to reasonably hold their own in a fight, use crossbows with consistent accuracy, and familiar with our methods and tactics. The second part they’ll have to learn in the field, but weapon and general combat training we can do here in North Watch.”

She took a drag of smoke and blew it off to the side. “Can you be specific about your needs, expectations, and timetable?”

“Yes, I can. First, I need you to organize a training schedule, identify anyone who’s already skilled enough to teach, and put them in that role. The system you’d already set up with the girls from the Alley Cat seemed to work, but now in addition to more people to train, we’ve got another handful of Lady Gray’s former fighters. Leverage as many as you can, in groups as small as possible, to maximize the education everyone’s getting. In one week I mean to make a move, for which I’ll need everyone who’s ready to move by then. I don’t expect more than a handful to be talented enough to be ready at that point, but a handful should suffice for my next step. Additionally, over the long term, it’ll be your responsibility to organize teams to operate together. That means watching for people with leadership potential for me to interview, and setting up the groups themselves.” I hesitated before adding my final thought. “Try, if you can, to mix people up. I don’t want factions within my organization, so don’t collect too many people from the same brothel into one team.”

“A certain amount of that would be necessary, anyway, if we are to organize people by aptitude,” she mused, “but I’ll keep it in mind beyond that, Lord Seiji. Very well, I can begin as soon as everyone is awake.”

“Thank you, Minifrit. I realize this indirectly places pressure on you to form the entire rest of the chain of command, so reach out to me for anything you need. And just…generally. I want to be kept informed of progress and any decisions you make. For the time being, while everything’s in flux, we’ll meet daily to go over it.”

She nodded again, with that same dry little smile she so often wore.

“With that, there’s just one other post to arrange at this early stage of planning,” I said. “Kasser, I’m placing you in charge of facilities. That means everything related to the maintenance and repair of North Watch itself.”

He blinked, straightening up in his seat. “Wh—me?”

“You,” I said solemnly. “You’ll answer directly to me, or Aster if I’m not available. Eventually, your job will just be to keep everything clean, oiled, and working well, but right now you also have a campaign ahead of you, given the state of this place. Keep me informed of anything you require to continue the project; I will try not to have unreasonable expectations of you, but I would like North Watch fully cleaned and repaired as soon as we can manage it.”

“Some of that we straight up don’t have the capacity to do, Lord Seiji,” he protested. “There are multiple places where the masonry itself is broken and we don’t have a thistwright on hand to oversee that. If you get me mortar and akorthist blocks I can stack the one on top of the other same as anybody, but as a craftsman myself I’m here to tell you that putting a job like that in the hands of someone not trained in it will cause you even bigger problems down the road.”

“I’m aware,” I said, nodding. “Do what you can. I’ll see about finding an actual mason for us, but barring that, you have my blessing to make any patch jobs with akorshil so you’ll be able to guarantee the quality and also remove them later if we’re able to fix the masonry properly in the future. The battlements might look weird with plank walkways and barriers, but I prefer that to the holes they have now.”

I turned my attention to Minifrit, nodding again.

“So Kasser’s job is also going to affect yours, Minifrit. He needs people to work with, I’m not gonna ask him and Harold to rebuild this entire fortress with their own four hands. For now, while this place is still such a mess, I want people to have cleaning shifts as well, that’ll be everyone’s job in addition to combat training. In the longer-term, I want a dedicated staff to look after the facilities. Kasser, form a plan and come to me with an estimate of how many you need. Until we have that, Minifrit, please be on the lookout for people who are unsuited or disinclined to combat. I know we’ve picked up a few who hate fighting and I don’t want to either waste them or force them to do something that’ll make them miserable.”

“Ah, if I may?” Kasser lifted one hand in the most timid gesture I’d seen from him. “Also, Miss Minifrit, if you could please keep an eye out for people who seem to have an aptitude for construction or crafting, or who particularly want to learn? I’d sort of prefer not to end up working entirely with the rejects and washouts.”

“I can do that,” she said, smiling with warm amusement.

“Yes, good point,” I agreed, “though let’s not call people rejects and washouts, please. Everyone out here has taken an enormous risk throwing in with me, and the first and most important job I have for all of you is to make sure they’re all treated with respect and dignity. That’s the best thing we can do to differentiate our organization from…well, the entire rest of Fflyr society.”

Everyone nodded solemnly, and I took a break to have a long sip of tea.

It wasn’t blood tea, which was probably for the best as I think I had minor heart palpitations in the first few hours after downing a cup of that. I didn’t know what plants the Fflyr were brewing with but at least one of them had more caffeine than coffee. After the day-long, exhausting hike back to North Watch with a hundred refugees in tow, and the battle in Cat Alley before that, I felt like I was on the brink of collapse. I’d considered putting off this meeting till everyone was awake. But I wanted to have a plan in place for when everyone was awake, and when I discreetly asked, Aster had admitted she was as wired from our recent adventure as I. Minifrit had been safely back at the castle at the time, Kasser seemed okay, and I didn’t really care what Sakin felt. So, here we were, finishing this business now.

“With that settled: plans. First of all, our strategic position. Sakin?”

“Defenses need to be a priority,” he said, all business for once. “Whatever Lady Gray does or doesn’t do, and despite our best efforts, there was just no way of concealing the trail we left back here. We should assume our position will shortly be known. Probably not by the Kingsguard, at least not immediately, but once that intelligence is out there others will be able to find it.”

“I can guarantee we weren’t followed,” Biribo chimed in from his customary place hovering over my shoulder. “I was paying attention for that.”

“Sure,” Sakin agreed with a shrug, “but I’m talking about stuff like footprints. Walking up the streams we did will help, and I’ll agree we did our due diligence, but this is a matter of generalities. You can’t move this many people not trained for stealth without leaving a trail. So! Defenses.”

“Indeed,” I said. “Kasser, how are the doors coming along?”

“Harold and I have the one to put across the goblin tunnel almost built,” he reported. “We’ll have to install it inside the tunnel as the masonry around it is too crumbly to give us a proper anchor. Maugro will definitely notice us doing construction work in there. I hope he doesn’t take too much offense.”

“He can live with it. Maugro of all people understands the importance of security. How about the front gates?”

“I haven’t had a chance to go over them in fine detail yet, but I think the gates themselves are still solid. There are no visible cracks or holes; they probably need a fresh varnishing, but I can do that, no problem. The issue is the hinges and bar mounts. Those are made of iron, and rusted as hell; what hasn’t disintegrated entirely is frozen in place. That’s a problem, Lord Seiji. Aside from how expensive iron is… I don’t think there’s even a blacksmith on Dount, and there’s no way to buy gate hinges that size without everybody involved in the transaction knowing you’re building a fortress. That’ll catch Clan Aelthwyn’s attention. Possibly the King’s, if we’re extra unlucky.”

I leaned back in my chair, sipping tea again. “Can hinges be made of akornin, if I get Harold big enough pieces?”

Kasser grimaced and made a waffling gesture with his hand. “In theory? I guess. Door fastenings on peasant houses are usually made of akornin. The thing is, Lord Seiji, iron is used for fortress gates because it lasts, so long as you keep it properly oiled and maintained. Iron fittings can survive decades, even centuries of use with the right upkeep. Akornin is both more flexible and more brittle, ironically. If we take the best care of it we possibly can, it’ll still wear out within five years, ten at the most, not to mention it’ll break a lot faster if somebody takes a ram to the gates. Nobody wants to mount a gate that size that often, especially not when your fortress might come under attack.”

I sighed and drummed my fingers on the table. “All right. Have Harold write down what he needs to make hinges and fastenings that size, and we’ll get to work. That’ll buy us five years to lock down a source of iron.” Not to mention I might not still be using this old heap in five years. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Sakin, what else do you recommend?”

“Regular patrols and watch shifts, obviously,” he said. “We need people on the battlements and towers at all times, keeping an eye on the surroundings. Also, for that purpose, we need some repairs done to the walls just so they can be walked on; there are impassible stretches. I think your idea of akorshil patch jobs should suffice, Lord Seiji. As for structural repairs, I actually wouldn’t prioritize that. The fortress itself is solid, and all damage to the walls is up at the tops. Nothing’s in danger of falling in. More to the point, nobody’s going to get siege engines out here through a century’s worth of wild khora overgrowth; honestly, there’s no force on Dount and possibly not in Fflyr Dlemathlys which is even capable of properly besieging North Watch. What we need to worry about is subtle insertions.”

“Hence the patrols,” I said.

He nodded. “Also, we need to cut back the khora closest to the walls. There are several places where there’s a convenient path right to the battlements or a window for anybody able to climb. We should re-coat the upper parts of the exterior walls to deter climbers, too; theuryct paste is pretty cheap, and I bet the goblins have a bunch of it. That’ll make it too slippery to clamber up even for squirrelfolk. It’s what the Clans use on their fortresses.”

“Felling live khora will require some tools we don’t have, but those are obtainable,” Kasser added. “Actually, Lord Seiji, that can work in our favor. Most of the khora outcroppings closest to the walls are species whose shells I can work with. If we cut down and stockpile those, that’ll cover our material needs for the foreseeable future.”

“Good! Get me a list of implements you’ll need and I’ll make that a priority next time I see Auldmaer.”

“Will do, Lord Seiji.”

“Also,” Sakin added, “Lord Seiji, I’d like to try something unconventional. If we get more bottles, can we start putting light slimes on the ground and in the khora around the outside of the fortress?”

I narrowed my eyes, then nodded as I caught his line of thinking. “Ah! Because lighting the walls themselves makes our sentries a target.”

“It’s an inherent weakness in fortifications nobody’s been able to overcome,” he said, nodding. “Sentries need light, but it makes them easy to snipe. That’s because nobody’s ever had infinite sources of light that can just be dropped and left. Since sneaky approaches are what we most need to worry about, lighting up the forest around us will be a big advantage.”

“I…guess,” I said grudgingly. “Of course, leaving light slimes out there means they can be taken, and anybody who gets one can gradually cultivate more.”

“Is that really that big a problem?” Aster asked pointedly.

“I suppose not, with the light slimes anyway,” I sighed. “Fire slimes would be different, but…”

“Also, a light slime going missing will reveal where someone’s been snooping around,” Sakin added.

“All right, it’s a good idea. I’ll get started on that tomorrow. What about our next threats, do you think?”

“I told you what I figured would be Gray’s next move against you,” he said.

“Right, Blessed with Magic.”

“As many as she can round up, yes, with Gray herself waiting to deliver the killing stroke if she can. But, the other pressing question is whether she will attack you again.”

Minifrit emitted a scornful smoke-scented laugh. “Oh, I assure you, she will.”

“Without question,” Sakin agreed with an easy grin. “But will she do so now? Quite aside from the fact that this has gotten deeply personal and she probably wants Lord Seiji’s head more than she’s wanted anything in years, there’s the fact that after he smashed half her organization in one night and publicly fought her to a standstill, forcing a humiliating retreat, she’s lost a lot of face which she can only regain by killing him. And for someone working in the areas she does, reputation is everything.”

“That’s true for anyone working in any areas,” Aster opined.

“Right, but here’s the thing: Lady Gray has got other pressing concerns.” Sakin folded his hands on the tabletop and leaned forward. “Now that Lord Seiji has what he wanted from the Gutters and has pulled them all back to here, she’s gotta go well out of her way to come after him, and she may not be in a position to do that right now. She’s lost money, personnel, and respect, all in large amounts—and she’s still in the middle of a bitter feud with Clan Olumnach, who will press the advantage as soon as they smell weakness.”

“What do you think she’ll do?” I asked quietly.

“Too close to call, since I don’t know her on a personal level,” Sakin admitted. “If I were in her position, I could go either way. Taking the fight to you is important and could improve her position for taking on the Olumnach bandits, but that just might not be feasible for her right now. And even if it is, she might still make the call to set you aside until she’s dealt with them.”

“Then my original strategy still holds,” I said. “Both ends against the middle. Now that Gray is weakened, it’s time to hit the Olumnach gangs in the back as soon as they try to close in on her. That addresses our other immediate needs, too: all the supplies we’ve stockpiled would’ve kept us going for a year or two before, but with a hundred-odd mouths to feed we’ll run out within three weeks. We need income, and Auldmaer’s little trading company can’t support a group our size anymore. We have no choice but to leverage our numbers. Next move will be to crush the outlying gangs one by one, take over their territory and start funneling the spoils that were going to Clan Olumnach to us instead.”

“So you and Gray are in sort of a mutual position,” Aster noted. “You also have a need to finish her off…”

“And it is both strategic and personal,” I agreed. “She’s a hazard I can’t have active on my island, but also after the various shit she’s pulled the knowledge of her existence makes my brain itch. However, I’ve got pressing material concerns which require my attention to be turned elsewhere for the time being.”

“Lots of risks involved, sounds like,” said Kasser. “Clan Olumnach won’t sit still for this, and Lady Gray will probably try to take advantage if she realizes you’ve shifted your eyes off her.”

“There’s another faction you need to consider, Lord Seiji,” said Sakin, again falling into an uncharacteristically serious tone. “It is fuckin’ weird that we haven’t heard anything from the catfolk at all. Rocco’s arrangement with them gave them a monthly tribute to let us live here without trouble. You haven’t paid them.”

“You said they’d come asking for it when it didn’t show up! I don’t even know when or how he delivered those payments.”

“Yeah, that’s why I said it was strange. I figured they would. But here they haven’t been paid in two months, and they’ve neither asked politely for it nor started trying to cause us trouble. Beast tribes are a little unpredictable in that they all have their individual little cultures and I dunno in any detail how the local cats think, but I can’t make heads or tails of their position on this.”

“Any insight on this?” I asked, turning my attention to Biribo. “You’re supposed to be my Ephemera tour guide.”

“Well, that’s a hell of a way to put it,” he grumbled. “I don’t have any specific insight into the actions of particular beings I don’t personally know, but we can get a few hints just from the overall situation of beastfolk. Right off the top of my head, strength is a factor. You’re a powerful Blessed at the very least, and so is Aster; any scouts watching us would be able to pick that up. North Watch is a defensible structure even in the sad state it’s in. And now we’ve got enough sheer numbers to make any tribe on the island think twice about getting shirty with us.”

“So it all comes down to power, in the end,” I murmured. “I thought the beast tribes weren’t Viryan or Sanorite, isn’t that the whole point of using them as a buffer zone between Dlemathlys and Shylverrael? It’s the Viryans who value strength, or so everybody keeps telling me.”

“Viryans have whole philosophies about that,” Biribo retorted. “Every Viryan culture has its own idea of what strength means, and how it’s best expressed. They have the luxury of sitting around thinking up stuff like that because they and the Sanorites have divided up all the valuable real estate on the islands between them. Beastfolk get pushed into the outlands between; they value strength in the sense that the weak get dead.”

“Sounds like they’re ripe targets for recruitment, then,” Kasser suggested.

Biribo flicked his tongue out. “Maybe. It’s hard to say for sure without hearing from ‘em directly, boss, but…my advice in the absence of better data—well, first of all, is to get better data. There’s gotta be somebody on this island who’s familiar with the ways of the cat tribe. Aside from the cats themselves, I mean.”

“The King’s Guild would be the place to ask about that,” said Aster.

“Right, good thought. But pending that, I recommend leaving them alone and letting ‘em make the first move. It’s a common convention among beastfolk, orcs, and others who’re forced to scrabble on the outskirts that whoever makes the approach is in the subordinate position. Believe me, boss, you only wanna deal with them from a posture of strength. Eventually, one way or another, they will come to you.”

“And if their method of ‘coming to us’ consists of arrows out of the forest?” Minifrit asked pointedly.

“Like the lizard said, they’re not likely to try that now,” said Sakin. “For people who live as close to the edge of survival as the beastfolk tribes do, starting shit with a dangerous group that rivals theirs in size is a desperate last resort. Based on what little we know and Biribo’s insights… I reckon what’s most likely is they’re hanging back and watching us to figure out what’s going on before they do anything. Every change we make around here will put off their making an approach, then, but one way or another they’ll eventually come introduce themselves, if only because leaving us as an unknown this close to their village is dangerous.”

“So,” I said, “the consensus is that we should continue ignoring the cats for now?”

“Well…sort of,” Sakin hedged. “This does raise an issue: our food situation. We can trap crawns, so we’re not gonna starve until hibernation season, but the biggest way to supplement our food stores would be to hunt and forage. Doing that in territory the catfolk have claimed as their own is an unequivocally hostile move. That’s the leading cause of tribes going to war against each other.”

“Mm.” I frowned, thinking. My brain felt slow; the tea was no longer helping as much as it had been, and I needed to wrap this up and collapse into bed. “Well, that’s also something we can kick down the road. Taking out bandit gangs and taking over their territory will also open up areas for hunting and gathering.”

“That’s true,” Sakin acknowledged.

“Okay,” I said, standing up and pushing back my chair. “Thanks, everybody. I think this gives us a starting point. Everybody know what they need to get to work on first thing tomorrow? Any other urgent issues? Good, I suggest everyone get some rest. We’ve got the next week or so to catch our breath, but after that it’s back to violence and mayhem.”

“I love this job,” Sakin practically sang, already sauntering toward the door. Kasser heaved a sigh, folded down hands at me, and followed him at a circumspect distance.

“Actually, Lord Seiji, there is something I wanted to ask you,” said Minifrit, intercepting me just short of the door.

I glanced back at Aster, who raised an eyebrow. Minifrit had clearly waited until the boys were out before speaking up, but apparently it wasn’t that private.

“What’s on your mind, Minifrit?” I asked, suppressing a yawn. “Scuze me. It’s not the company, it’s the hours.”

“Of course,” she replied with one of those feline smiles of hers. “I won’t keep you long, my lord. But while I have your attention, I’m afraid my wardrobe is somewhat diminished since I was forced to leave the Alley Cat in such a hurry. Do you think my dress is…suitable?”

I started to irritably demand why the hell I should care about this, but before I got as far as opening my mouth she was already tracing one fingertip into the very low neckline of her dress, drawing my eyes inexorably to the mostly-exposed expanse of her chest.

Minifrit’s chest was…worth seeing. She was the most buxom woman I’d met on Ephemera and possibly ever, except for maybe that rude goblin who worked for Miss Sneppit. Zui, that was her name. Unlike Zui, Minifrit dressed to flaunt her assets. Also, while the traditional Fflyr prostitute’s uniform tended to resemble a loose dressing gown wrapped around the waist with ribbon, I could tell Minifrit’s had some kind of internal support, because those things were way too high up and perfectly shaped for their size and her age.

I realized, belatedly, that I’d been staring for a couple of silent seconds. Dammit, I had better self-control than this; exhaustion is a hell of a drug. But just as I started to shrug off that momentary distraction and look for an answer, Minifrit deliberately shook her shoulders in a way that set her bosom to bouncing in the most bewitching—

The memory of so many screams they all ran together as one chorus of agony, the smell of rot and sickness—pleading eyes, gaunt faces full of despair, blood running—

I gasped and stumbled back, bracing myself against the wall and clutching my head. This time, it took a lingering moment for my vision to clear. The echoes didn’t vanish instantly, fading over the next few seconds. I realized that Aster had darted to my side, reaching out, but then hesitated to actually touch me.

Anger pierced through the fog of remembered trauma, and I welcomed it as a preferable alternative. Again she pulled this shit? I was no longer amused.

“Listen, you—”

“You listen to me.” Minifrit surged forward, reaching up to take my face in both her hands, gently. When had she put down her pipe? She was always carrying that damn pipe… “Lord Seiji, you have never once condemned or judged any of the women of Cat Alley for the injuries and diseases caused by the lives we led there. You just healed them. No one whose opinion matters will judge you for this, you understand? It’s an injury of the brain, nothing more or less. One your magic can’t fix by itself. It is no diminishment or reflection upon you as a man, or a leader. But it is an injury, and one which needs to be dealt with. Even if you’re stubborn enough to dismiss your own suffering as unimportant, this causes a predictable reaction which can be recognized and exploited. Look how easily I did it! Lady Gray is definitely savvy enough to spot something like that and take advantage—and let’s be real, you’re the Dark Lord. She is far from the most dangerous person you’ll ever have to fight. You need to address this.”

I drew in a long breath, hands twitching at my side; I had started to reach for her wrists, but abstained, unsure how well I could moderate my strength in that moment. I didn’t want to hurt her, especially by mistake. And her hands on my jaw and neck… What was the last time a human being had touched me without homicidal intent?

“And how, pray tell, do you propose to do that?”

Minifrit finally relaxed, lowering her hands from me. I hated myself a little bit for immediately missing the contact. “I am no priestess or healer, I won’t claim otherwise. But over the years I have been responsible for more than a few traumatized people. Not every case can be healed. Still, there are ways. I will put my full expertise to the task, if you’ll let me. I can’t make promises as to results and I might still fail you, but I can swear it won’t be for lack of effort. Even if nothing I know can fix this, I am still confident that I can at least help.”

I forced myself to breathe evenly and control my expression.

Vivid flashbacks, caused by stimuli associated with the initial trauma—in my case, all the misery and pain of the lives of prostitutes in a medieval hellhole, which I’d seen firsthand over the last few months as I regularly treated them in my guise as the Healer. So, the trigger was…potentially anything sexual, apparently. Yeah, this was PTSD. It was pretty textbook. I had resisted acknowledging that increasingly obvious fact because… Well, where the hell did I get off being traumatized? All these women had been living with this for years now, and they had found enough gumption to pull together and fight back just the night before. All I’d had to do was see it, once a week for two months. And I was the one having flashbacks now? Ridiculous.

I’m sure a proper therapist would’ve pounced on that, but I didn’t have a proper therapist—and neither, I suspected, did anyone on this entire planet. The closest I had was a middle-aged ex-prostitute who I was pretty sure would react with pure anger and contempt if I revealed the detailed cause of this. Who wouldn’t?

“All right,” I said aloud, stepping back from her, “I’ll think about it.”

Minifrit narrowed her eyes to angry slits. “Young man—”

“I think you mean Lord Young Man.”

Aster cleared her throat loudly. “Ah, Minifrit? I’m sure you’re aware that when most men say they’ll think about something, they mean they want to drop the subject and ignore it. Lord Seiji actually is pretty good about thinking over things in his own time. And if he doesn’t,” she added sweetly, turning a sunny smile on me, “I will remind him. As many times as it takes.”

“Great,” I said sourly. “Thanks, Aster.”

“As always, my lord, I have your back.”

Minifrit heaved a sigh that did interesting things to her neckline, which I steadily looked away from so as not to have a repeat of…that. “Well. I suppose that for the time being, that will have to do. Thank you, Aster. A good evening to you, Lord Seiji. Rest well.”

I nodded, a little stiffly. “Oyasuminasai.”

Aster gave me another pointed smile before following her out of the conference room, leaving me alone with Biribo.

“It’s my own fault, you know,” I said aloud. “I’m the one who had the bright idea to surround myself with women.”

“Yeah… Keep sayin’ stuff like that, boss. That should help smooth things over.”