Noctis Noir

That day at the park's outdoor café, only Frisk, Tank, and Magnus were around to hang out. Tank had been drinking the other night and was suffering from a hangover. Meanwhile, Magnus was occupied with studying a thick book of chess strategies for his next battle with Epsilon. He was determined to finally win and prove his worth.

"Ahh. I want a girlfriend," Frisk blurted out as he was daydreaming.

"Then get one," Magnus said bluntly.

"If only it were that easy."

"You have choices right?"

Frisk snapped his finger. "Oh yeah! I forgot about the results of my quiz Are You Frisk's Type."

Tank's face went pale the moment he heard those words. His hangover got worse.

Frisk scanned through the results. "Yes! Yes! There are two who got perfect scores in the quiz! One of them must be my soul mate..." He placed a hand on his heart. "I must find these two and meet them. And finally get a girlfriend!"

Magnus looked sideways and rubbed the back of his neck. He coughed a little. "One of them is me."

"Huh?" Frisk froze.

Tank lifted his head from the table. "Unfortunately, I am the other one."

"What!? Why did you two even take the quiz?"

"Epsilon forced me," replied Magnus.

Frisk wiped a dramatic tear away from his eye. "I guess I'll have to find a girlfriend the conventional way. But no worries!" He did a s.e.xy pose. "Ladies love me."

Suddenly, they heard a laugh.

"Au contraire!" D.i.c.k Gaylord waltzed into view. Even in his regular clothes, he was shining brightly like polished gold. He looked like a walking disco ball. "Everyone knows that I, Gaylord, am the most sought after bachelor in the world!"

"So why don't you have a girlfriend?" Tank asked.

Something inside Gaylord shattered. Tank was right. Why didn't he have a girlfriend if he was as popular as he assumed himself to be? Could it be...!?

"Could they be hesitating because they think they're unworthy of me? This is terrible!" Gaylord had a stunning realization.

Magnus was about to say something, but then decided not to and go back to reading his book.

Frisk placed an arm around his sparkly friend. "Gaylord, let's hit the nearest establishment and find ourselves some girls!"

The Frisk-Gaylord Alliance has been established!

"Oh boy." Tank knew something bad was going to come out of it.

"Good luck. Don't cause too much public disturbance." Magnus stuck to reading.

***

Garth went to the supermarket near his apartment to replenish his supply of food and household items. As he was picking out some breakfast cereal, he noticed two suspicious people crouching behind the shelves and staring at the pile of avocados on sale. When he drew closer, he realized that he knew both of them.

"What are you guys doing?" Garth asked.

"Oh, hey Garth. We're looking for girls to hit on." Frisk waved.

Garth looked around him. "Why are you flirting in a grocery store?"

Frisk explained, "A fine lady is a good homemaker and would know how to pick the perfect fruit! We're staking out here in the avocado stand, waiting for a girl to pick up the best avocado." Gaylord gave an eager thumbs up while he was talking.

"Let's hide in that box!" Gaylord pointed at a cardboard box big enough to fit both of them.

They went inside. The hole had a limited view, but it was enough to see if someone picked up the perfect avocado.

After minutes of waiting, it finally came. A hand reached out to touch the perfect avocado and pick it up.

"There it is! This is the one!" Frisk was excited.

It was Sed.

"It's just Sed!" Frisk and Gaylord were disappointed.

"Oh, hey Frisk and Gaylord! What's up?"

"Oh nothing. Just looking for girls to hit on."

"Can I join you?" Sed asked.

The three of them squeezed inside the cardboard box and waited for the next one to pick up the perfect avocado. It wasn't long before another pair of hands reached for the pride of the avocado pile. Their eyes widened. Their mouths were agape. Their hands grew jittery with every passing second as the distance between the fingers and avocado closed. They all leapt out of the box at the same time, making them fall on the floor like accidentally spilled milk.

Li Yuan stared down at them expressionlessly. "Are you guys ok?"

"Li Yuan!?" They said in unison.

"Huh?" Li Yuan was confused. "Yeah. I'm Li Yuan."

"Why are you here?" Frisk asked.

"Ileanna sent me here to get her some fruits."

They all face palmed.

"What are you guys up to?"

"We need girlfriends!" Gaylord answered.

Frisk's eyes widened. "That's right... They wouldn't be here. They'd be over at the farmer's market! The freshest ingredients are there and they'd support farmers directly too! A fine lady isn't just a homemaker, but also has a golden heart!"

Sed and Gaylord both marveled at his words, as if they were listening to a newly revealed holy scripture.

"To the farmer's market!" Sed pointed at the exit.

Frisk, Gaylord, and Sed marched to the market, leaving Li Yuan standing there in confusion. Garth stepped behind him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.