Nirvana(BL)

Yu Yue doesn't remember that when the summer has been so hot.

Probably he always stay in home with fan, air condition and cold drinks before, so he has never know how hard it is to being under the sun in summer. Just like in the past, when he saw a money boy in the soap opera, he felt that they were having an easy life.

Only after the personal experience, he knows how difficult it is.

Yu Yue is still not able to go back home in the summer vacation.

When the new semester begins, the teacher from Academic Affairs Office calls him to ask why he has not checked in to the exchange school, with the extreme anger. Yu Yue with a splash of black, knows that he won't have any change to apply for exchange in the future.

Since he has finished all the specialized courses for three semesters, now he has only the school's electives and a bunch of free time. But Ye Lin summon him more and more frequently. At first only two or three times a month, but to the summer, it's almost every weekend.

However, Ye Lin is too troublesome to pick up Yu Yue every time. And as the summer vacation is coming, he signs up Yu Yue for a driving school, asking him to learn to drive, so that he can give him a car to drive himself. As a result, Yu Yue can only tell his parents that he has an summer intern and can not go back home.

And right now, Yu Yue is driving a sedan on a quiet road.

The sun almost shed his skin in the past one month, making him black shapelessly. Therefore Ye Lin forced him to wear not only the sun cream but also a hat and a pair of sunglasses with dislikes. But he was expecting to be disliked. At the beginning, he always took off the hat himself, but it was so burned that he had to put it on later. Whereas it was too stuffy, he finally bought a plastic hat, which was always worn by the primary school student, with a small fan on the brim. And Ye Lin nearly laughed his head off when he saw this.

Yu Yue passed the first exam long time ago, and the second a few days ago. Now there's only the third one to go. The driving school has more students than cars so he did't have a lot of chances to practice. But Ye Lin got him a sedan with automatic transmission somewhere. It is much better to sit in it than to watch the coach back the car on the field with the sunshine. After all it's still hot, and the air condition doesn't work—in can only blow the hot wind out. Yu Yue is really speechless, feeling Ye Lin get him a scrap car from the garage.

Yu Yue opens the windows on both sides. But the air is like solid with no wind at all. Besides, he's too nervous to drive fast, or there might be some breeze.

This narrow road is in the outskirts of Huairou District, with neat street trees on both sides. Its surface seems to bend in a wavy pattern and is extremely distorted in the hot air. Cicadas on roadside his as loud as they can, making Yu Yue distraught. His hands are sweaty, holding the steering wheel clammily. And this feeling forces him to take turns to loose the hand a few moment, so that his palms can breathe for seconds.

The road is straight and endless, with the same views in five and in ten minutes as if he has not moved at all. Yu Yue even has not seen any other cars. He is distracted inevitably in such boring and changeless environment.

In the past two months, Ye Lin was seeing too much of him, which made him restless a little bit. Ye Lin talked as if he had sent away all his other lovers by giving them a sum of money as buyout, then he wouldn't contact them anymore. Perhaps Ye Lin always treated his lovers in this way, asking them to come and go as he needed. Since he could break the relationship anytime, he never revealed his personal information to any of them—even Yu Yue doesn't know what his job is after knowing him for so long. From the occasional statement, Yu Yue only feels that it sounds like a government department. Because of his secrecy and caution, Yu Yue firmly believes that his's not a good person at all.

In fact, he never considers Ye Lin as a good person, but he has no other choices. Now Ye Lin doesn't have any other lovers and becomes obsessed to Yu Yue whenever he's free, even the frequency of having sex with him has increased. It's really annoying for Yu Yue. With a hundred 'No', Yu Yue still don't dare to resist, he can't not defeat Ye Lin nor run away. The only ending is being raped. So he surrenders. It won't hurt that much if he cooperates, although it's still not good since Ye Lin can last for a long time to make him can't breath and beg for the end in crying. But recently, Yu Yue finds out that it is useful to cry and scream in front of Ye Lin, even though it is only an approach that he can not cross the line with it.

Yu Yue moans—he can't believe that he needs to please a man with playing tricks—it is so sad! But Luckily, Ye Lin's wife doesn't care about him, otherwise he would be caught as a third wheel. As a man, he would become the female villain in the soap opera at that moment! No one knows that how aggrieve he is! It's **** and illegal restriction of personal freedom! All blames that damn Ye Lin!

The more he thinks, the angrier he is. Holding the steering wheel tightly, Yu Yue stares at the road ahead, stepping the gas pedal harder incidentally.

Ye Lin, you're a disordered bastard, you'll be punished one day. Yu Yue curses him in his mind, continue to stare at the front as if Ye Lin was standing there. He accelerates to rush past.

It is a crossroads without Ye Lin standing there.

And it is too late when Yu Yue collects his mind, he has went through a red light and is going to crash into the car in the left.

Yu Yue slams the break and turns the steering wheel hardly, while the other driver is doing the same thing. With a cacophony of the friction, Yu Yue's car heads to left, scratching precariously on the other car and stopping there.

Yu Yue gets off hurriedly to check that car—the left headlight is broken, and there's a big scratch in front of the wheel—not very bad.

This seems to reassure Yu Yue a little. If they collided with each other head by head, the other driver might be died, and that would be a disaster.

But after checking carefully, Yu Yue still finds that he's in trouble—he has crashed a BMW.

He raises his face to blink his eyes to the sky—why he has always been in such bad luck for recent one year?

He walks to the side of driver's seat: "hello, are you all right?"

Through the windshield, he sees a young boy under 20-years old, should be a novice and probably getting terrified, sitting there with a pale face, staring straight ahead with hands on the steering wheel.

Yu Yue slaps on the glass several times, then the boy finally gets his mind back. He opens the door and wipes away the cold sweat: "hey bro, you scared me, were you playing the bumper cars?"

Yu Yue laughs when he hears that. Actually he thought he would get beat up by someone in the first place.

"How can you still laugh now…" the boy sighs, "now what?"

"I went through the red light, it's all my liability." Although Yu Yue's heart convulses when thinking of the repair fees, but he doesn't prepare to pass the buck.

"Are you a student?"

"Yes."

"Then forget it. I can fix mine and you only need to care about yours. Your car need to be repaired too, right? Don't worry, money is not a problem for me."

"I see." Yu Yue nods and looks that BMW 330I up and down, "are you sure about that? But it's true that I can't afford it." Yu Yue is surprised that he didn't blush when he said this, like a dead mouse felt no cold.

"No need, you're only a student." The boy, who looks like being at the same age as Yu Yue, pats Yu Yue's shoulder like an elder, "Be careful next time. Are you still a learner? Pay more attention."

Yu Yue wants to smile but it's not fun at all. He nods his head and says yes.

They settle it down rapidly and ready to leave.

Yu Yue feels embarrassed still, after thinking for a second, he stops that boy: "hey, can I have your number? I can treat you for dinner another day."

"No need to do so."

"It's my fault today. I really feel sorry. It's only an apology to treat you for dinner. Is that OK?"

The boy pauses a second: "no need for dinner, but I can give you my number, and we'll be friends then."

He's really straightforward than the normal people. Yu Yue agrees nicely: "All right."

Yu Yue takes out the phone and saves the boy's number: "What's your name?"

"Ding Yichao." The boy saves Yu Yue's number also: "and you?"

"Yu Yue."

"Means joy?" Ding Yichao smiles, "it's really joyful."

"Ha ha." Yu Yue neither confirm nor deny. No one can be joyful about those disturbing things that happened to him.

They talk in a few words and then go in their own ways.

Yu Yue is worried on the way back.

Although it is an old car with some small damages, it's not belong to him after all. He has to repair it before returning it back. As for the repairing fee, it will not be enough without a few thousand. He has never took money from Ye Lin, but with him, he did save the most of the money from his parents. In account of this semester, plus the next two month in advance, it should be enough. He doesn't want to owe anything to Ye Lin as much as possible, so he won't ask Ye Lin for help if he can handle it.

Yu Yue feels that he can deal with this, so he doesn't worry about it anymore. If Ding Yichao doesn't call him in three days later, he can even not remember it.

"Yu Yue," the adult like voice comes from the other end of the line, "do me a favor to testify. I want to change a car but my father doesn't approve. Help me prove that I didn't damage that car on purpose."

Yu Yue is curious. How could he say such exorbitant request seriously?

Standing in front of Ding Yichao, Yu Yue raises the question in his mind. But Ding Yichao blinks his eyes, completely can not understand why his request is strange.

"I told my dad that my car was broken, and I want to get a Porsche instead. But he said that I broke it on purpose and denied my request. So I need you to prove it for me." Ding Yichao explains it to yu Yue conscientiously.

Then Yu Yue understands—this is a rich but prodigal second-generation.

Ding Yichao drives a Buick, taking Yu Yue to a real estate company. He lets Yu Yue sit on the sofa in the reception room for a while, and calls a suit man who is 30-year-old.

"This is my father's secretary, please tell him about that collision, he'll write a report to my father." Ding Yichao introduces in such way.

Yu Yue feels awkward. He drily repeats the whole story. The secretary takes the record and asks him to sign, as if it was about to be handed to the court as a confession.

"And…it was Ding Yichao said that he would pay for it by himself. I didn't mean to pass the buck. It's ok for me if you want me to pay for it now, no need to…" Yu Yue feels so strange that he even suspects that they're going to sue him.

"No, no, no, I don't mean that. It's just for our president. You have to sign as prove, it's the rule." The secretary is also solemn.

Yu Yue finally sign uneasily, although he's not willing to do that. He would be humiliated if he got into trouble for this and had to let Ye Lin get him out.

After signing the paper, Ding Yichao pats him and says: "Dude, let's go eat."

The Buick drives all the way down to Sanlitun, where Ding Yichao leads Yu Yue into a western restaurant.

Yu Yue looks at the menu of gaudy dishes, surprised by the price, and doesn't know how to order.

"It's well known by the steak and spaghetti…don't you know that?"

There's only sincere but no superior meaning on Ding Yichao's face, otherwise Yu Yue would like to slap the menu on him.

"No, I don't often go out to eat." It's not truth, he actually has been to many restaurants with Ye Lin, but he's not familiar with it yet.

"You're really a good student." Ding Yichao nods, "which school?"

"T University."

"No wonder…" Ding Yichao looks contemplative, "When I was a child, I did not study hard, otherwise I should get into the college and became an intellectual now."

His words are awkward. But think carefully, Yu Yue can not find out what is wrong.

"It's good to read more, intellectual." Sighs Ding, "see my father, people say he's a parvenu with no education. But in fact, the high school diploma meant high education in his days. Even now there are a lot people have not graduated from high school. People say that I'm the son of the parvenu only because I have a BMW, like I'm a stupid nescient second generation. Actually I do admire those scholars, but I'm really not good at study, since childhood. Are they even not allow people to be poor on study? Ugh, I think I'm really aggrieved. I would like to go to Tsinghua or Peking University, but I don't have that conditions."

Yu Yue comforts him quickly: "Never mind that. The real genius basically do not go to college, like Bill Gate…"

"You're right." Ding Yichao turns his words, as if for a moment he's coping with the reality that he can not go to a college, "none of my friends have gone to a college. There're few people like you, going to T University. They don't understand when I talk about the democratic constitutionalism, or the Dow Jones industrial average, even the Gini coefficient. What shall happen if people like them will be in charge of China in the future?"

Yu Yue opens his mouth but doesn't know what to say. As a civil servant, Ye Lin has never talked about these high-end topics, nor concerned about the people and the country like this. Why this second generation is worried about the future of this country so seriously?

"And my girlfriend, same, always let me buy her Hermes, but she even doesn't know which Greek god Hermes is. She's in high school affiliated to Renmin University of China!" Ding Yichao says with a pain expression.

Yu Yue is astonished. He also doesn't know that the brand's name is spelled the same way as Hermes. But that is because he never pays attention to that brand.

"Sometimes I criticize them for not being studious, but they think I'm pretending to be refined. Ugh…" Ding Yichao says with sigh and waving.

"That…Ugh…" Yu Yue smiles embarrassedly. The person in front of him, who might be not able to graduate from high school, is criticizing others' laziness. The world is really strange.

"I don't want to hang out with them sometimes, it's infuriating. But then I think, if I leave them alone, they'll be more hopeless and keep going down and down."

Looking at Ding's face, Yu Yue really wants to call Ye Lin to see, this is the noble virtue.

"I really feel lonely with those people, they can not understand me. Now it's alright. I should have someone to talk to since we're friends."

"...you overrate me." Yu Yue thinks for a long time, only squeezing out such a sentence.

Ding Yichao waves his hand: "don't be too modest. The excessive modesty is arrogant."

"..." Now Yu Yue is speechless utterly.

Over the next hour, Ding Yichao talks from the three sovereigns and five emperors to the president of the United States, from the democratic revolution to reform and opening up, from the Chinese economy to the world landscape. Finally, he discusses the impact of 2008 Olympic Games on China's soft power.

As a thoroughly engineering student, Yu Yue has never known so much about history, politics and economics. And his jaw is almost dropping off to see such a voluble speaker for the first time. Compare with him, Ding Yichao seems to be more like a college student. This remains him what Ye Lin said before, he's the person with lowest education among his lovers. Instantly, he feels his life is collapsed.

After the dinner, Ding Yichao insists to drive Yu Yue home. But Yu Yue refuses him because he now lives in Ye Lin's villa and doesn't want to be seen by others—on the other hand, he doesn't want to hear Ding's rants anymore.

Ding Yichao is unable to dissuade Yu Yue, so they separate in front of the subway's entrance. Ding Yichao says goodbye to Yu Yue in his car: "it's so happy to talk with you. We can meet more often if I have time."

Yu Yue giggles, but thinks to himself, he was not chatting but listening to a lecture, only Ding was making the speech.

Now the problem is how to back to Huairou. He need go to the bus station to transfer since no subway to Huairou. It will take a while anyway. Ye Lin would be back there soon after work. And he would be unhappy if he couldn't see Yu Yue. In that case, consequentially he would torture Yu Yue. Thinking about this, Yu Yue feels very discouraged and has to speed up.

Unexpectedly, his phone rings after getting on the subway for two stops.

Yu Yue looks at the incoming call that shows Ye Lin's name, even wants to throw the phone away. But it can only be his imagination, in reality he doesn't dare to not answer Ye Lin's calls.

"Where have you been?"

"I…I had dinner with my schoolmate." Yu Yue doesn't know how to describe Ding Yichao in a second, he feels the 'schoolmate' should be fine—if they had a speech department in their school, Ding Yichao must be able to get in.

"So late at night. What time is it? Who's with you? Are you going to check in a hotel or what?"

"..." Yu Yue is speechless with anger.

"Where are you now?"

Although Yu Yue is unhappy, he still replies honestly while his emotion saying no: "On the subway."

"Get your ass back! By ten o'clock! I'll fuck you up tonight if I don't see you then."

Yu Yue shuts to close his flip phone with a snap, and bangs on the seat several times with his fist. It takes a while for him to calm down.

He calls back Ye Lin then: "Hey? Have you been drinking?"

"How dare you to hang up on me…I'll beat you up…"

"I'll be back soon. You've drank too much, go to sleep now."

"Only two bottles, that's nothing! Get your ass back! I want to fuck you…"

Now Yu Yue confirms that Ye Lin is really drunk, so he hangs up the phone again.

Getting off the subway, Yu Yue switches to the bus to Huairou District. Finally he gets back at half past ten.

He open the door, expecting that Ye Lin has fell into sleep. However, he hears a noise in the bathroom when he goes upstairs. Obviously Ye Lin is still awake, and seems to be vomiting.

As soon as Yu Yue walks up to the second floor, he noses a strong smell of alcohol. He walks into the bathroom—the vomit is everywhere on the floor. Ye Lin sits on the ground with his shirt open, leaning against the wall, like a drunk on the street.

Hearing Yu Yue's footsteps, he raises his face and smiles at him: "aha, you're back."

He's trying to brace up himself, but falls to sit back when he just gets up.

Looking at him, Yu Yue considers that should he kick him, or give him two kicks?

But then he just walks to Ye Lin, picks him up and carries him to the bedroom.

"Where have you been?" Ye Lin sits down on the bed, half leaning on the pillow, holding Yu Yue's hands and not letting him go, "you little jerks, all of you have no conscience…Were I bad to you? I gave you everything you want…your achievements today are all from me…it was a deal between us but I treated you with my heart…two years, you leave me without any explanation, don't you miss the past at all? I've been coddling you for two years…you son of a bitch…"

At the beginning Yu Yue can not understand and thinks that Ye Lin is talking nonsense because of drunk. But listening for a while, he realizes that he's fucking talking about Cheng Xiaocheng.

Yu Yue feels confused. In wine there is truth. But is that true? Ye Lin, an amorous and dissolute playboy, is still missing a lover who has broke up with him?

Yu Yue listens to his incoherent babbling about Cheng Xiaocheng, feeling surprised. Such a brutal and cold-blooded person, is that possible that he's truly in love with Cheng Xiaocheng?

Yu Yue breaks away his hands: "I'll get you some water."

He runs out of the bedroom. There should be some sleeping pills in this house. Usually neither of them need that but they do prepare some in the medicine cabinet—now it is useful.

Yu Yue prepares half a cup of hot water, putting two sleeping pills in and waiting for them to melt. Then he pours in some cold water, adjusting it to an appropriate temperature, and brings the cup to Ye Lin.

Ye Lin has been mumbling to himself but Yu Yue is not interested in what he's saying. When the water is brought to him, he doesn't taste anything unusual. After drinking more than a half cup, he holds Yu Yue's hands: "Yu Siyang is not better than me. You just heard that his father is the secretary of municipal party committee…that's nothing…you snob…you don't know how his uncle died…what do you know, you short-sighted…"

Ye Lin's voice finally gradually lowers down. His breath calms down and then, he falls into sleep.

Eventually, Yu Yue gets rid of him and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands. Recalling what Ye Lin said just now—Yu Siyang's father is the secretary and Ye Lin is no worse than him—he shakes his head—the world is full of the rich second generations and the officiallings' children, it is chaotic.

Yu Yue turns his head, catching a glimpse of Ye's mobile phone, which is still lying on the ground of the bathroom.

He bends down to pick it up and turn it over to look. It is on the screen of calling records, which shows that Ye Lin made a dozen calls after he talked with Yu Yue. All of them were for Cheng Xiaocheng, and none of them were answered.

Ye Lin doesn't wake up until the next noon. He's been frozen for minutes and then remembers that he was drunk.

His head is dazed to ache. Then he calls Yu Yue's name, and in a long time, Yu Yue shows up at the door.

"Was that you who pull me to the bed last night?" Ye Lin kneads the temple to ask him.

"Yes."

"Did I say anything?"

"You said something about Cheng Xiaocheng."

Ye Lin doesn't speak for a while.

After a moment of silence, Ye Lin opens the drawer of the bedside table, and takes out something to throw to Yu Yue.

Yu Yue catches it by hand and then spread out his palm, it's two keys.

"One for the car and another for the house in Haidian District. It's convenient for you to drive there after the school starts, doesn't take much time."

"…Well." Yu Yue thinks for a while and adds: "and, I crashed the car while practicing. I had sent it to repair already but it needs half a month. Then I can return it to you."

"How's your practice? Can you pass the road test?"

Yu Yue nods.

"Then no need to repair since it's useless. Just a second-hand car less than ￥20000, throw it away." Ye Lin waves.

Yu Yue nods again and is ready to go out.

But Ye Lin stops him: "Did you get hurt? Or hurt anyone else?"

"No." Yu Yue remains calm, "I ran into the railings."