"……?!you."

Wugeng Liuli's expression suddenly became stuck, and then he sneered a few times. Just when the two were about to start fighting, Dongfang Bai grabbed the black cat and Tong Nai in time, so as not to make things more troublesome.

.............

"I'm so tired."

Dongfang Bai suddenly felt super tired. It was the first time he felt so tired, and he suddenly envied Gabriel who was lying on the side eating cake. This guy is really laid back...

"Speaking of which, Black Cat, are you going to show me a light novel?"

Dongfang Bai suddenly thought of something, and looked at Wugeng Liuli. At this time, the black cat suddenly took out a large stack of paper from his bag. Dongfang Bai visually estimated that it was two or three centimeters thick, which was extremely exaggerated.

"...These are just some of the manuscripts. I want Mr. Yakumo to take a look at it and give me some advice."

The blushing black cat's attitude changed so quickly that Kasaka Kirino, who was drinking juice, almost spit it out. She looked at the black cat in disbelief.

"Is this guy the evil-eyed radio girl just now? Change souls?"

"Actually, I also feel that she turns her face faster than she turns a book."

The Yamada Fairy is also a little helpless. She has been playing games with Dongfang Bai, but she knows best. This girl named 'Black Cat' treats Dongfang Bai completely different from others.

"Yakumo-sensei's "Fate" deeply affected me. I have read the first volume five times, but I still can't see why it can be written so well."

The black cat shook her head, and she could see that she really wanted to work hard to write light novels well. She had both perseverance and talent, but she was too stubborn about something for a long time.

Chapter 97 What are you doing looking at me 【For automatic subscription】

Although the main purpose of this gathering was to help Black Cat read the light novels she wrote, and to give some suggestions by the way, in fact, when Dongfang Bai came, he did not expect that there would be so many.

At that time, he thought that it should only be a dozen pages, read a few pages to give some advice to the black cat, and take the rest back to read, but he didn't expect the number to be so exaggerated, it was almost thirty or forty pages...

I feel that the number of words on this stack of paper is even more than the number of words in my own volume of "Fate", that is, there are at least more than 100,000 words.

"Oh, that number looks very serious..."

Behind Saori's round glasses hides a sharp look that no one else can see. She nodded thoughtfully before looking at Dongfang Bai and Hei Mao.

"Hey... This number can be submitted directly, and it's only part of it. "Four six three""

The goblin on the side was obviously amazed. In the past, she had to work hard for at least half a month to write such a stack of manuscripts, but what the black cat said was only part of it...

According to this statement, if it is a little more subtle, it is "this is only a little bit, and most of it is not brought here".

"got rejected."

The black cat's tone seemed a little disappointed, but she still looked in the direction of Dongfang Bai with some expectant eyes, trying to hear some praise. After all, the results she got in any publishing house were "completely ineffective".

"I was curious before, the teacher Yakumo you mentioned..."

Saori had obviously guessed something, but she still asked for confirmation.

"Well, he's Yakumo Haku-sensei from the first-place work "Fate" at the recent Dengeki Bunko Rookie Awards..."

The black cat nodded, opened her lips slightly and said softly. Although Dongfang Bai was not as famous as the Yamada fairy, there was something she dared to say about the black cat.

Although she is very poor at writing light novels, her vision for reading light novels is very vicious. Basically, books she has read and agreed with will eventually become popular. She believes that one day "Fate" will be more famous than "Exploding".

"Fate has only released one volume. I remember that the author's age, figure, appearance, gender, and gender are all hidden. I didn't expect it to be you!"

"And the collaborator of the illustration is the teacher 'Eromanga'. I really don't know how you got in touch with him."

Everyone here is a house, and they have no worries about this kind of topic, and it is quite quiet here. There are only a few of them in the entire store except Chino. If they change the environment, they may not dare to discuss it so hot.

"Hello? Smelly white?"

The goblin saw that Dongfang Bai had not spoken, but looked at the manuscript in his hand, curiously wanting to reach out and poke him.

"He should be reading the manuscript, and he seems to be very serious."

Saori immediately stopped the goblin's movements, and the five girls stared at Dongfang Bai's face, and he seemed to be immersed in his own world and didn't notice it at all.

Time passed by, and the black cat suddenly felt an inexplicable shame.

No, it would be fine if it was just me and Teacher Yakumo Bai, but there are still a lot of people staring at me. What should I do if I am criticized too much...

The black cat had been observing Dongfang Bai's subtle expressions, and when she noticed that his brows were slightly wrinkled, she already felt bad.

As for Saori, who has an excellent ability to observe words and colors, he can also clearly see the changes in Dongfang Bai's expression. It should be quite bad to see him like this.

"call……"

Dongfang Bai put down the manuscript in his hand, then looked forward, and found that all five people were staring at his face, and their expressions changed.

"Why are you looking at me like that..."

In particular, the goblin next to him is still blushing a little bit, it feels very strange, just now I have been reading the manuscript seriously, and all the people around me are watching me and don't know it yet.

Could it be that something happened when I read the manuscript carefully? ? ?

"It's nothing, just looking at you so seriously, I'm a little curious."

Kosaka Tono pouted, she didn't know what was wrong with her brain just now, but she kept staring at Dongfang Bai like everyone else, which was very impolite.

"Cough, anyway, about this light novel."

Dongfang Bai was very nervous when he saw the black cat, and he was thinking about how to tell the black cat about the defects of this book.

The name of this book is CrytalBall, and the name is somewhat similar to the animation "The Lamentation of the Fallen Angel" that Black Cat likes, and the settings in it also have many similarities.  …

There is no problem with the writing, and there are some flaws in the conception of the plot, but the biggest problem is not these, but the problem of setting.

There are too many settings built by the black cat, which leads to an overly huge world view. For a new writer, a huge world view can fully develop the imagination, but it also limits the plot.

Because the settings are so complicated and exaggerated, it can be seen that Black Cat must have revised it last night. There are many traces of revisions on the manuscript. In addition, her complexion is very fair today, I am afraid she has stayed up all night.

Seeing her working so hard, there are a lot of reprimands to her, but if you don't reprimand her all the time, you will definitely go all the way to the end. If you want to write a good light novel, you don't know how much it takes to write a good light novel.

Dongfang Bai took a deep breath, then sorted out the language in his head, stood up randomly, motioned for the black cat to come out with him, and the two walked outside the cafe before Dongfang Bai spoke.

"First of all, if this book is read by ordinary readers, I am afraid that the third page will throw the book aside."

When Dongfang Bai said these words, the black cat's face was already a little blue, but her expression still did not change. She understood that if she was too frustrated, it would affect Dongfang Bai's advice.

"Although you listened to my advice last night and wrote out the complicated and messy setting 4.8 step by step, your plot skills are poor, and you didn't control it well, which led to the collapse of your combat power."

"For example, when the Night Demon and the protagonist were fighting, your previous setting was that the Night Demon had the same ability as a vampire, and it would become stronger at night, so you strengthened the Night Demon, but you forgot the main character's settings. Certainly."

"The protagonist also has the power of darkness, which can be transformed into life energy to attack, on the contrary, it can also be transformed into solar energy that restrains the night devil, but the protagonist in your writing has been unilaterally beaten by the night devil, even at night, the protagonist The setting still has a great chance of turning over, but you forcibly defeated the Night Demon with the death of a supporting character."

Then Dongfang Bai said some important questions to the black cat word by word for a full ten minutes.

Chapter 98 Elementary School Gabriel Sauce【For automatic subscription】

"Cough, but there is also a good side. From the interestingness of the plot, you can see that you have a lot of ideas. If you want to solve these small problems, it is not difficult to write a good light novel."

Dongfang Bai also stopped appropriately. After all, it is impossible to unilaterally reprimand at this time, it will damage the confidence of the other party, and it is necessary to praise her a little to make her work harder.

"Yeah! Thank you Yakumo-sensei!"

Black Cat's gloomy face suddenly turned a lot, she was much more cheerful than before, and she accepted Dongfang Bai's suggestion very humbly.

"It's said that you don't need to call me that, and I'm not a few years older than you."

Dongfang Bai waved his hand, even though he had told Black Cat many times, this guy still called himself Teacher Yakumo, which was really uncomfortable.

"Then... just Bai Jun."

The black cat seemed to have compromised, and directly planned to call Dongfang Bai's name. This slightly intimate way of addressing is generally not used.

In Neon, people who call each other's names directly are not only close friends or lovers except for their family members, but the black cat also adds a suffix at the back, so it seems that the relationship is close but not very close.

04 "Well, that's fine. Let's talk about the rest later. It's better for two people."

Dongfang Bai smiled slightly and pointed behind the black cat. The black cat seemed to think of something, and immediately turned his head. Sure enough, the three girls behind him were all lying beside him trying to hear something.

"Don't squeeze me!"

"Why do those two guys look so close!"

"Hoho, I think the relationship is unusual."

The three of them didn't know that they had been discovered by Dongfang Bai long ago, because the movements and voices were too obvious, and they were so close.

"Oops! Found out!"

The goblin shoved Tong Nao next to her. When she raised her head to continue her observation, her eyes suddenly met Dongfang Bai's...

This is completely seen! ?

"Ehhh!?"

The three of them wanted to hide, but the place was already narrow. When they heard that they had been found, they immediately hurried around, and they fell to the ground and were completely discovered.

"You three..."

The black cat squinted slightly, and she also guessed that these people would not stay in the store so well, and she sneaked out to eavesdrop.

The reason why the two of them came out to talk was, in a sense, to avoid several other people, because reprimanding in front of several people would also make the black cat very embarrassed.

Taking into account the face of the black cat, Dongfang Bai planned to take her to talk privately, but the three guys still sneaked out.

Although I didn't see Gabriel's figure, the guy probably continued to eat and drink in the 'rabbit house'.

"You're going too far. Although what this evil-eyed electric wave girl wrote should be some embarrassing and dying middle school work, you shouldn't say that."

Kosaka Tono thought that she had been discovered anyway, so she just stood up openly. She had just been secretly listening to the conversation between Black Cat and Dongfang Bai, although their voices were very small and could not be heard clearly.

But there is one thing, Takasaka Tono seems to have heard a few words from Dongfang Bai saying that the black cat's book "no one will read it", so it makes her a little angry, even a popular writer can't do this.

"Evil Eye... Electricity, Electric Wave Girl..."

The black cat's face twitched slightly. She didn't even know how to complain about this guy who was wearing a particularly 'cool' dress. She was obviously talking for herself, but she also scolded herself.

He also specially emphasized the phrase 'evil-eyed electric wave girl'!

"I misunderstood. Bai Jun just gave me some suggestions, and he didn't say too much."

The black cat took a deep breath and spoke slowly, which made Tong Nao, who was planning to speak poisonous tongue to the east, dispel the idea.

"Alright, alright, I didn't hear much just now, but I'm really making suggestions, and Xiao Tongtong's just misunderstood."

The good man Saori came out at this time to smooth the game, which is also to give Kosaka Kirino a step down, so as not to make the scene too embarrassing.

"By the way, why don't we go shopping in Akihabara, just to let each other know about their favorite works."

Saori quickly changed the topic, and with just a few words, the embarrassing situation was resolved, and it could also promote the relationship between several people, and wanted to go to Akihabara together.

This made Dongfang Bai a little surprised. Although she looks very tall, her mind is extremely delicate, and she is quite good at dealing with people. She doesn't look like a house girl at all...

Although she said that she was the administrator of the 'House Girl's Association' and had social experience, this level cannot be achieved just by being an administrator. Although she has not read much of the original work, he remembers that Saori seems to be Also has an identity.

"Understood."

"Right on my mind!"

Kuroko and Takasaka Kirino agreed immediately. They had long wanted each other to see what ACG they were talking about, whether the Fallen Angel was more handsome, or the magical girl Meruru was cuter...

"Well, then I won't come, after all, I'm a big man..."

Dongfang Bai scratched his cheek, as if trying to excuse himself, but the goblin grabbed his right arm.

"No! All right! You have to come too."

How well the goblin knew Dongfang Bai, she could see at a glance that Dongfang Bai felt that it was too embarrassing for him to go shopping with a group of girls, but if he escaped, she would feel a little more at ease.

Sure enough, with this guy by my side, I can have a good offline gathering...

"And Gabriel, too!"

Saori pushed out a blond girl with messy hair from the store, looking at the other party's disgusting expression, she felt like a middle-aged uncle who disliked trouble.

"Hey, I don't want it, I just want to go back and play games now..."

Gabriel tried to break free from Shazhi's shackles, but Shazhi's height perfectly suppressed her. Gabriel, who was only 1.4 meters tall, looked like a mother's belt when facing 1.8 meters tall. daughter……

Just imagine what a funny scene would be when Gabriel, who was only 1.4 meters tall and looked like a primary school student, stood with Saori, who was 1.8 meters taller than most boys.

Saori was able to easily pick up Gabriel and make her two helpless short legs sway in the air. In the end, she was forced to go shopping with the black cat Kirino and the others.

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