Little Girl's Wild Side

Sindhu had seen so many people break a promise as easily as changing clothes. So at some point of time, she stopped making one and more than that she completely stopped believing in one. She knew that not everyone making a promise breaks them in a whim or takes them lightly. But she strongly believed a person can make a promise and mean to keep it with everything he has at the time of making a promise but still end up breaking the same in the later date because of unavoidable circumstances.

But she never thought that, that itself was promise she made to herself. Suddenly she did not have the confidence to never believe in a promise.

She was changing. Sindhu could feel it. Gautham was changing her. For better or worse she did not know. He was unravelling one knot after the other… the knots with which she had bound her heart with for so long. She was excited and terrified at the same time.

"Hey…" Gautham called out. Sindhu came out of her trance and looked up at Gautham with a complicated expression.

"What is it??" Gautham asked.

"You are changing me Gautham." Sindhu said but her voice was accusing.

Gautham was taken aback at first at the sudden change of topic but then he replied, "Well thank god I am not the only one. You changed me so much so that I barely recognize myself you know. So I would say it served you right."

Gautham paused then took a deep breath and looked straight into Sindhu's eyes and said, "I am head over heels in love with you in just 6 months. You did not just change me. You flipped my world upside down. So don't even think about competing with me in this aspect."

"What??" Sindhu's eyes widened considerably and she stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds without knowing what to say.. She did not know if she heard him right. Her mind riled from the sudden confession.

"What did you just say??" Sindhu asked.

"I love you." Gautham said firmly. Initially he was not planning on say it in a parking lot. Far from it. He wanted to set everything perfectly… He knew Sindhu's aversion for romance. So even if he did not plan on doing anything romantic or typical he still wanted to put some effort into it to show his sincerity. But somehow at that moment the words just flowed out without restrain or hesitation. And a sense of pride and relief spread through him.

On the other hand Sindhu's mind went blank. She did not know how to react. She did not even know what she felt at that moment. LOVE. She never understood that emotion quite right. That absolute adoration or the desperate need to keep a person beside you- they never made sense to her.

She felt a sense of comfort and security with Gautham. More than that, when she was around him, for some reason she felt safe to be herself. That was like a breath of fresh air for a person who had survived behind masks her whole life. Gautham came so close to her in such a short amount of time that it left her flabbergast. But was this love??What if it was?? Was she hoping for herself to actually to fall in love??? Was she hoping it to be Gautham?? She wished she had answers for these questions that are popping up out of her head all of a sudden.

"Hey…" Gautham called out once again.

"How do you know that you love someone???" Sindhu asked with her brows frowned in confusion and her eyes were still slightly out of focus as if she was in deep thoughts. Her expression was that of a kid pointing a tree and asking what it was.

"…" Gautham was speechless. When he first thought of confessing, he had already thought of all the possible crazy reactions from Sindhu. He had thought of every possibility from excitement to panic to rejection but none of them came close to the absurdity of the reality. He did not know whether to laugh or cry.

After thinking for a while, Gautham took Sindhu's hands in his and kept it over his heart. "You see that??? That happens; you will know you love someone.", he said. His voice was calm but it was a whole different story for his heart.

Gautham's heartbeat was extremely hay wired under her hands. She always thought all the talk about heart skipping a beat when you meet the person you love was bull shit. But feeling Gautham's heartbeat, she found herself believing that phrase for the first time ever.

"Wow. That actually happens in real life??" Sindhu exclaimed. Her fascination was very apparent on her face. Her eyes were gleaming like she found a treasure or something. Sindhu had always been in tune with darker spectrum of emotions. For some reason she understood loneliness and despair without anyone having to explain. But when it came to positive emotions, she was absolutely clueless.

The way Sindhu was looking at him right now, it stirred Gautham's heart further. His heart raced. The naivety in her eyes was mesmerizing for him but more than that their faces were just inches away from each other. He could feel her breathe in his face. Her scent burned his nostrils. In her fascination Sindhu did not really notice how close they were but even otherwise, she was way too comfortable around Gautham to notice any form of intimacy. But it was whole different experience for Gautham. Especially now that he had confessed and accepted his feelings, he wanted to do all sorts of things to Sindhu. And at that moment, it took a lot of restrain to not taste those lips that was slightly parted in awe.

Gautham quickly pecked Sindhu's cheeks and dragged her down from the hood saying, "Come on. Let's get you home" and before Sindhu could come out of her stupor, Gautham had already stuffed her into the car and was half way home.

The street lights were glaring but the roads were almost empty except for a few vehicles here and there. Sindhu pulled down her window and stuck her head out. The breeze calmed her considerably while her mind was playing out Gautham's confession over and over again like a broken record.

The sincerity and conviction in his voice was very apparent. If he had made a grand gesture with glittery lights and a clichéd dinner, Sindhu probably wouldn't have taken it so seriously. She was no romantic. Romanticizing anything made it less believable for her. It was so easy to fake a gesture with a few broken lights and a candle these days.

While she was still contemplating on her head as to what to say to Gautham the car came to a stop outside her house. Sindhu came out of her train of thoughts and got down quietly. Gautham followed suit and accompanied her to the gates.

"Go on. Get some sleep. Your parents should be home soon too. I will get going okay" Gautham said and ruffled her hairs slightly before turning away. But before he could take a step, Sindhu caught his hands and the next second she hugged him tightly from behind. Gautham was surprised at first but then after a while he rested his hands over hers and asked, "Hey... What is it??" but Sindhu did not say anything. She just leaned on his back quietly keeping her hands around him tightly.

After a while of silence, Gautham pulled away her hands from around him and turned to face her. When he saw her face, the entangled emotions were evident on her face while her eyes were stuck to ground with her head slightly hung down.

"hey… I wouldn't have told you if I had known you will end up like this you know." Gautham said tucking a few strands of behind her ears.

"I don't know Gautham. The things you make me feel… I don't know how to express them. All I know is you mean a lot to me. In these few months we have known each other; you have become someone I see a future with. You have no idea how grateful I am that I got to meet you. You were the dream I did not even dare to wish for. But is this love?? I do not know. I just… I just want to be sure before I say it." Sindhu poured out.

"Hey… I did not say I love you so that I can hear you say it back to me. I am not that petty. It's just how I feel and I wanted to express it. There is not compulsion for you to reciprocate it. Not now, not ever. Understand?? So don't feel burdened okay??" Gautham said while his eyes were trailed on her face intently.

Sindhu did not say anything but simply nodded her head obediently.

"I will go now. You go get some rest okay" Gautham said and pecked on top of her crown before leaving.

Sindhu stayed on spot till she could no longer see the car before going in.

And as soon as her body hit the bed, she fell asleep right away. She was way too exhausted. Even the chaos in her head couldn't keep her awake.