Last Man On Earth When There Is No Earth ?

Sector twenty one, planet Gorgola, Tiga one, Seven

My growth was going well and by the forth day I've become as big as a five year old. I had to learn crawling and walking all over again but I'm doing fine now. I can finally eat solid food so that's a plus as well.

"And you stopped peeing yourself too" said Iris as she idly floated above my head.

'No need to remind me' that was one hell of an embarrassment. Having no control over those body functions, wearing diapers and being unable to wipe myself. I don't want to go through that again.

I've been Lilia's and Estel's training dummy as they learned how to properly care for a child. They used some Zesionien books and videos as reference and little by little they learned what they had to do.

They seemed to be having fun so I reluctantly let them do what they want. It was a bit annoying though seeing them subtly fight over who gets to hold me or ho gets to take care of me at night.

That said, now that I'm this old there is no need for them to be around all the time. I do love my wives but it's too humiliating.

"Yeah, shitting yourself in front of other people is a crappy situation"

'I feel like your attitude is getting worse over time. What happened to the cool beauty Lilia always tells me about?'

According to Lilia my freeloading ghost is much like Blue, not only in appearance but in behavior as well. She talks very little, no one knows what she's thinking, her expression rarely changes and she's always reading books. Comparing that to the Iris I know…

"I spent almost a year in your head, remember?" looking down at me with exhausted eyes she followed "all that emptiness is bond to effect anyone, even if it's me"

'Yeah yeah, I know already. You're usually asleep by now, did something happen?'

"I've to be there for your meeting, remember?"

Now that things went back to normal -well, not exactly- I thought she'd return to her usual routine of sleeping throughout the day and doing whatever she does while I'm asleep.

It's somewhat creepy not having an idea about what she does. Picturing her staring down at me as I'm out of it makes my entire body shudder.

"I'm browsing your memories, what else would I do?" and of course she would read my mind and answer.

'Really? I thought my head was so empty it ruined your personality'

"I can find some nice things to watch every now and then" Iris said, shrugging her shoulders "it's hard to do when you're awake"

"Is that so…" well, maybe I should be happy she's at least having some fun at "what were you watching?"

"I've recently gotten into that game of thrones series"

'Yeah… that's one other thing I didn't get to finish…'

"Wait… what!?"

She seems rather shocked by that. Shouldn't she already know by now?

'That alien invasion happened before they released the final season, remember?' and the books never finish the story if I remember right.

"Damn it… now I don't feel like watching it…"

'Well, TV series are usually good for the first few seasons but the rest is meaningless. Not to mention, without the last book they would have to improvise the story going forward, in other words it will be shit.'

Western entertainment in general was getting worse and worse back then. They would've probably screwed that ending without something to work out from.

'We should be thankful that invasion happened' maybe feeling happy that humanity was almost wiped out causing one good show to not be ruined isn't exactly right, but I never really cared about humans to begin with.

"Well, doesn't matter anymore, I guess" Iris sighed disappointedly, slowly floating down on the bed.

'You seem rather bored huh' I said telepathically.

"No, not really" she replied, closing her eyes.

'Did something happen?' unless it's from when I was in that coma, not much should've happened for her. That would surely make life unbearable with her movement restricted, but nothing I can do about it.

"It's already been more than a year since I died" she said, eyes wondering in the distance "today would be my birthday if that didn't happen…"

'Is that so…'

One second passed, then two, then three, and I finally realized at the fourth quickly standing up.

'WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!!' I yelled inside my head.

"And why would I? It's not like it's of any importance…" Iris said with no care.

'What do you mean it isn't of any importance!?'

"Aaaah this is getting annoying!" turning her back to me she slowly floated up "we, Zesioniens don't celebrate birthdays like you humans. It's just a milestone to know how long we've lived so far"

'That sounds… sad…' not that I'm into birthdays or something. Actually I could say I find them unpleasant. I even died on one of them.

Now that twelve thousand years have passed I have no way of knowing when my birthday is or exactly how old I am. But this isn't about me.

'This isn't about you either' I said, glaring up at the floating ghost. 'What about Lilia? Aren't you worried about how she must feel right now!?'

Lilia has been doing fine ever since we took the Herara in and built the city. She made new friends and doesn't seem to seclude herself. Iris's death was a big burden on her but I think she's handling it well.

'This day is bound to remind her of you. We need to check on her to see if she's doing fine' I descended from atop the bed and slowly made my way toward the giant door.

"Don't bother. It really isn't that important…" still facing me with her back she heaved a long sigh "like I said, Zesioniens don't celebrate birthdays, she probably won't even remember"

'OF COURSE SHE WILL!' I shouted back, then I suddenly froze.

"What's wrong?"

I slowly turned around feeling blood drain from my face.

'If… if today is your birthday, how old does that make you?'

"Eighteen" raising an eyebrow she then asked "why do you ask?"

'You and Lilia are about the same age, right? You were classmates after all…'

"Ah! If it's Lilia's birthday then it was back when we went to Imar" she said with a smug smile "too bad you were l.u.s.ting after another female during that time"

The audacity of this…!!

'Why didn't you tell me!?'

"Because birthdays aren't important to Zesioniens! We only celebrate our fifth when we enter school and fifteenth when we graduate. Beside that it just isn't important!"

'But it is important to me! I'm her husband!'

If I remember right Lilia said she was 16 before we escaped Gorgola, which means she's 17 now and is halfway towards 18?

"Not exactly" said Iris "we're 15 by Zesion's calendar, not the IUs"

'Didn't Lilia say the time counts the same as earth?'

"Nope. Back then she was talking about the humans' homeworld, not earth"

Come to think of it, back then we still didn't know that earth was destroyed and that humans have relocated to three other planets.

"Days are a little longer on Zesion and it takes far longer for it to finish its turn around our sun. If you calculate the time difference we'd both be above nineteen"

'Then why did you say you're eighteen? You aren't that old to be embarrassed of your age!'

"Because much like you I think it's bothersome to try and calculate my age based on the IUs clock! It's much easier to keep track of the calendar of my own homeworld!"

Ok that makes sense. But more than an entire year of difference huh. Guess that makes sense. Who would actually give a fifteen year old kid a license to murder based on nothing but their own judgment? No, they're still too young to get those. What were they thinking when they created that system?

Anyways, I missed Lilia's seventeenth birthday and there is nothing I can do about it. However I still have our first anniversary and we can celebrate her turning eighteen later on. But by then wouldn't she be twenty?

Actually now that I think about it it makes a lot of sense. There is no way a sixteen year old would be that hot. I know I don't have to worry about human rules when I'm banging aliens, but it still feels unsettling to think I'm married to a minor when I'm twelve thousand years old.

[Speaking of celebration] Iris followed behind me as I exited the room and continued telepathically [we're a little over a month away from Gorgola's founding, right?]

'Yeah…' now that I think about it, it's almost that time. We will be way busier once Iris city is recognized as an independent colony making Gorgola officially an inhabited planet and a part of the IU. Ginger will probably try to prevent me from having some alone time with Lilia and Estel.

[Well, we don't want you bedridden or shitting yourself. Even if it's you, you're still their lord]

'Yeah yeah I know' not that anything will happen while I'm like this.

Speaking of Ginger, I see that he's back from his little break. We run into him as we headed for the meeting room, and he seemed quite surprised to see me. More than he was when I was a baby.

"My lord, let me apologize for my rude demeanor the other day" he said while bowing his head.

"Nah, don't worry about it" even as my assistant and adviser there is only so much shit he can take before snapping "I hope you've had a good rest"

"Yes. It's been a while since I slept so well"

Hey, why are you beaming like that!? At least pretend neglecting your job bothered you!

Well I guess he deserves some slack. Now back to digging through all the paperwork.

"My lord" Ginger began "there is something important I have to discuss with you today"

"Sure"

The two of us entered the meeting room.