ISSABELLE

Ryan drove Issabelle home. When he stopped the car in the driveway, she thanked him and bade him Goodbye. Ryan told Issabelle, that they still had a lot to discuss. "What do you want to discuss?" Issabelle questioned him. "What clothes does Catherine expect me to dress up in, when I have to meet her in-laws, tomorrow for lunch? Do you want to discuss that with me?"

"I apologize to you for that. It was my fault. But I swear, the sight of those lovely breasts, was the only enjoyable part, of an otherwise uninteresting afternoon."

"Hope you are also not blaming me for that Ryan?" Issabelle told him aggressively.

"Of course not darling," said Ryan. "But I really feel that Steven's mother is in awe of you, that is the reason why she is always on the defensive, in your presence."

"But why is she in awe of me, as you say? The whole afternoon, she had a single mission of criticizing me. She just tried putting me down without any reason." Saying that Issabelle looked at Ryan, and found him smiling down at her. She got irritated because of that.

Ryan told her that "You are far too intelligent then Annie, you should have realized by now the reason for her behavior. She is defensive because she has led a dull life as compared to you. All she has done is staying at home, and raising up her kids."

Issabelle told Ryan that "She thinks I am a dreadful mother, and that I have neglected Catherine. That I have put my own needs first."

Ryan corrected her by saying that, "She puts it that way because she is afraid of losing her son and Cathy to you, as she knows that otherwise, you would be a great influence over their lives."

"But isn't that ridiculous?" Issabelle asked. Ryan told her that it was one of the reasons why they needed to talk. He opened the car door and came around to open her's. When they entered the house Ryan felt that in comparison to the drab disuse and forlorn emptiness of Cathy's would be home, Isabelle's home was full of warmth and cheerfulness, which he appreciatively told her. "Issabelle you definitely have a gift of turning a house into a home."

"Ryan you can't call that a gift. It's second nature to a lot of women, in the same way, that men are attracted to mechanical work. Don't you remember, how just after our marriage, one day when the coffee percolator didn't seem to work, and you had used your mechanical talent, and what had happened after that? " Remembering that incident, Issabelle started laughing.

Ryan agreed that it was a mistake on his part, and he too started grinning. "It was in fact more than a mistake, as the way it had exploded, covering the whole kitchen with coffee. The way you had started crying after that seeing the whole kitchen in a mess. The way I had dragged you out of the kitchen and upstairs to our bedroom, saying I'll take care of everything. But now when I think back, it was not my mistake. The percolator was faulty." Ryan then continued "Everyone is allowed one mistake"

"One mistake" Issabelle repeated that. Laughter had disappeared from her eyes. Issabelle started thinking, that she had made more than one mistake where her daughter was concerned. So much so that a gulf had developed between her and Cathy that would probably never be bridged.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ryan asked her. He saw the previous happiness and laughter in her eyes was replaced by pain.

"I was just thinking that some mistakes cannot be forgotten or forgiven" Issabelle replied. She was suddenly annoyed with herself, for being so vulnerable and emotional to admit her fears to him. It would be probably to his benefit she thought.

"Issabelle are you trying to refer to what happened between us. Is it?" Ryan asked. I should, of course, have known that.

"About us? No, Ryan, I was talking about Cathy. About the mistakes and misjudgments, I have made with her." Tears filled her eyes. She thought to herself, why was this happening to her? Years ago she had made a determination, to never give in to her emotions in front of anyone. She had kept her tears, to always be shed in the privacy of her bedroom. She knew that she had been far too strong, and for too long.

"The mistakes that You made with Cathy? What mistakes Issabelle? You haven't. You have been an exemplary mother, an exemplary parent to Cathy. Look why don't you go to the sitting room, while I make a hot drink for both of us, and then we can talk about it."

Issabelle though protested that what good it would do, but she turned and went over to her pretty sitting room, that was facing the garden. She put on the gas heater, as it was turning pretty cold. Though her living room was small, she had it so well decorated. She still remembered how she had recovered the old sofa in damask fabric, which she had bought at a bargain price, as it had some flaw in it. She had finished it just in time for Catherine's eighteenth birthday. Cathy had praised her cleverness. She remembered how happy Cathy was, as she had organized a small adults-only party for Cathy. "The cleverest and the best thing that I have ever done was producing you" Issabelle had then replied to Cathy. But now it hurt Issabelle that the pride and love that she had for her daughter, was probably more of a burden than a joy to Cathy. She knew that she embarrassed Cathy. She would probably have liked a mother, like Annie. Whose name would not stand alone on the invitation card? A mother who bought up her children in solid security of a family. She didn't want a mother minus her husband, and minus her marriage. Issabelle started sobbing miserably after that.

Ryan just entered the room and found her sobbing so badly. He deposited both the mugs of coffee on the side table. He sat down beside her and gently took her hands in his. As if he could have read her mind he said "Issabelle you cannot really believe that Cathy would have preferred to have a mother like Annie. You are everything that a child could want in her mother. You have done so much for her. You have achieved so much. I am really very proud of you."