Incompatible Interspecies Wives

6 – Childish Mind (1)

How many days have passed.

I was sitting in front of the church as if I had returned to the garbage of the slums.

Her Shien abandoned me, but I couldn’t let go of her.

While her actions are understandable, I hate them.

Even though I know that Shien had no other options…I was looking for the target of this anger.

I resented Shien alone for a long time, shed tears, remembered her, and worried.

I thought that the fate that had been handed down to Shien was too harsh.

Can the gentle and tender Shien survive the fight against the demon lord and demon tribe?

He has a bright personality who can’t even joke around, but will he have the strength to witness the terrible horrors?

I wonder if I will get sick. I wonder if I will catch a cold. Won’t it hurt

I resent her, I only care about her.

If I had been chosen, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.

But if you think about it again… It was Shien who deserved God’s love, not me.

After a few days of hanging out in front of the church, someone came out and touched me.

“Wake up.”

“…”

Responding to that sound, I turned to the side and there was a paladin who had often faced her lately.

“Don’t stay here any longer. I didn’t come here to quarrel, so let go of your expression.”

“…”

“As a human being, I feel sorry for you.”

I snorted weakly at his words.

Did someone who said it was a pity to intervene between C.N. And me like that?

“…”

The paladin guessed the cause of the ridicule and began to make excuses.

“It was only natural to protect the saintess. The more she is with you, the more her saintess’s holy power may weaken. Considering the tens of thousands of lives he could save, you had to push him away.”

“…”

“And there is nothing better than staying here. Because the saintess left the day after we broke up.”

“…What?”

I turned my head at his words.

I was sitting here trying to stop Shien from leaving again.

I didn’t see her passing by, but what do you mean she’s already gone?

“…He left the city through a secret door so you wouldn’t notice. So, go back.”

“……hahahaha…”

At the absurd news, I lowered my head and looked down at the floor.

I don’t know why my chest is bubbling so much.

Originally, the anger that was relieved when I saw Xian did not go away without Xian.

It was a feeling that festered inside.

I wanted to relieve some of the stuffiness.

The paladin put a hand on my shoulder as I stopped.

“Stand up-“

– Puck!

In the end, I chose the paladin in front of me.

I know there is nothing wrong with him, but I couldn’t stand it any longer.

In the first place, I wasn’t even that nice of a person.

.

.

.

After a while, I was locked up in a dungeon.

I was beaten and torn, and blood flowed from everywhere.

But it was to the point where I felt that these wounds were cool.

I had to find something that would distract me.

I’d rather be physically exhausted and in pain than heartbreaking pain.

When I close my eyes, I keep thinking of Xian.

Everything about her body odor, warmth, and touch is vivid.

I can’t believe it was ripped from me.

From the time she met her, the memories of her past are still vivid.

I couldn’t accept that our 7-year life together ended like this.

We were planning a happy life.

Me and she were preparing to live according to her life.

But that’s all gone.

-Toduk…

Tears flowed and soaked the cold stone floor of the prison.

I already missed Xian.

****

I was able to get out of prison sooner than expected.

No sins were asked in the church.

“I was not punished because of the mercy of the paladin.”

The jailer pushing me out of prison says.

“Let’s live in gratitude for Hea’s grace.”

“…”

I walked away from the prison, spitting on the floor instead of answering.

There was no sense of relief that I lived.

Even if he died, he would have no regrets.

I just couldn’t feel anything.

Since Xian left, I felt like I took a lot of emotions with me.

Instead of emotions, only the senses remain alive.

I couldn’t escape the pain in my heart.

It was very painful.

I felt like I could do anything to not feel this pain.

From that day on, I lived more and more like garbage.

I was stuck in a slum where the light didn’t come in, and I only fought.

My opponents were those who couldn’t escape the slums or who lost everything and ended up in the slums.

There was no restriction on race.

Even if our eyes met, I threw a fist.

The wounds increased because I often dealt with multiple people at the same time, but this side was less painful.

I was able to let my instincts take over during the fight.

I couldn’t sit still.

When I stop, it reminds me of Xien who left me forever.

It was as she said.

The words about not forgetting yourself became a curse and tormented me.

And each time the pain got worse, I got more and more angry.

At one point, I acted without a trace, to the extent that I wouldn’t even know if someone put a knife on my back.

After a few weeks of living like that, I had an unprecedented reputation in the slums.

When the children in the slums saw me, they were all busy hiding.

The number of eyes glaring at me from the shadows has increased, and the number of times I face a stranger holding a knife when I wake up has increased.

I often suffered deeper wounds, and the marks on my body increased.

But I didn’t care.

If there was a goal I cared about, it was just finding a drink to drink that day.

After Shien left, I lived like that for more than two months.

****

-Tuk-tuk.

Someone disturbed my sound sleep.

When I slowly open my eyes, I see two pairs of legs in front of my eyes.

-Tuk-tuk.

He was waking me up by touching me with his foot.

“Wake up.”

I am immediately ready for battle.

I reached out to kick my opponent in the shin.

But the opponent raises his leg as if he had already predicted it.

“Wow, that’s fierce.”

“…”

Soon there was a distance between us, and I got up.

I try to lift the bottle I fell asleep while drinking.

“…”

The alcohol left only traces between the broken glass bottles.

This is what the man standing in front of me said.

“Are you that ‘slum scum’?”

“…”

“…Everyone calls it that. Anyway, you’re not the one who’s been causing a fuss lately.”

I quoted the person I was talking to.

He is quite big and has a strong body. He’s shorter than me…But he looks a year or two older.

He is even tall.

But…He was from the same background as me. Even if you’re wearing smart clothes, you’re from the slums somehow.

His arms were scarred, and his fists were clumsy.

From noble mtl dot com

I asked, checking the sharpness of the broken bottle.

“…Are you here to catch me?”

“Right. I came here for money.”

I walked over to him, clutching the vial.

But before that, he reaches out and restrains me.

“Wait, it’s okay to fight, but let’s start talking.”

“…”

“My client won’t be curious.”

I wasn’t particularly curious. Lately, there weren’t a couple of opponents who bore a grudge.

But the man pulled something out of his pocket.

Two fairy tales and a mouthful of beef jerky popped out.

“This is the request price I received from the client. Do you know who it is?”

“…It’s cheap for your life.”

“It depends on who gave it to you. This was given to me by the children of the slums. It must have been everything to them.”

Looking around, I saw children hiding in line with my gaze.

A boy hid a girl behind his back.

From that figure, I overlapped Xian with me.

My eyebrows twitched unconsciously at the sight. A strange feeling runs through my chest.

And the man who saw it smiled.

“Okay. It wasn’t completely trash.”

At his words, I swung the glass bottle.

– Bang!

In an instant, the opponent’s kick hits my chest exactly.

I hit the wall behind me and missed the bottle.

I couldn’t breathe.

I could tell with one shot. There is a huge difference in strength between the opponent and me.

“Keep it off…!”

But I raised my breathless upper body and clenched my fists.

-Pak!

And that attempt is also absurdly futile.

As he kicked me in the leg, I lost my balance and fell down.

The second time I fell, I couldn’t stand up again. The key was to catch the breath.

The man squatted in front of me and continued talking.

“Stay there, brother. The request wasn’t to kill you, it was to get rid of you.”

“Keahhhhh”

“Actually, what are you doing killing people for one jerky? I did it for the kids, but…”

Soon I feel severe nausea in my stomach, so I vomit all the alcohol I drank the day before.

“Wow..! Cuckoo…!”

“In the first place, I was looking for you. I was looking for the right people to work with.”

The man came to the side and patted me on the back as I was pouring vomit.

“Would you like to join me as a mercenary?”

“Haa…Hak…What?”

Mercenaries.

My heart sinks at that word.

‘No more mercenaries…!’

The cry Shien once gave me returns.

She lost her parents to monsters and came to hate her monsters as much as she did.

That’s why she stepped out and left me to fight the monsters.

Perhaps thinking the conversation would be long, the man sat on the floor with his butt on his back.

He rested his chin on his chin and spoke slowly, as if telling a story to his best friend.

“I’m thinking of setting up a mercenary corps. But it’s a bit daunting to start alone. But I want you to fight Oh, self-introduction first? I am Adam.”

“…Ha…Ha…”

“Well, you don’t have to accept it. ‘Cause I’ll find someone else But listen… What can I say? You’re going to live fighting here anyway, it’s good if you get paid.”

“…Haa…Ha…”

“Earning money and drinking expensive alcohol to my heart’s content. Women can hold whatever they want. After a hard day’s work, after coming back, soaking in a warm bathtub, a day spent eating delicious food awaits-“

“- Go away. Ha… I’m not interested.”

I said it harshly, but Adam was quick to refute it.

“But you’re looking for someone to pour your anger on, aren’t you?”

“…”

I became dumb because of his words.

“…If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have been fighting this far.”

Making eye contact with him, I slowly looked down at the floor.

I can only feel uncomfortable when I see my insides.

“Just change the direction and get angry. Don’t bully the petty people here.”

“…”

My eyes found the boy and girl from before.

A boy hiding a girl in his eyes again.

For a moment, I wondered what I was doing here.

Contrary to what I thought the pain would get better if I stayed like this, it only made it worse.

It feels like struggling in a swamp.

I still haven’t gotten over the pain.

When you wake up alone after sobering up, the feeling of loneliness only increases the vacancy in Xian.

Also, the thoughts planted by a man named Adam began to grow in size within me.

It was a childish mind.

It’s the mercenary job that Shien told me not to do.

It’s a job that she wanted to stop.

But there was no one to stop me anymore.

Just as Shien didn’t listen to me, I didn’t want to listen to her either.

They found an outlet to pour out their anger.

“How about it, would you like to try it?”

So, I didn’t fall for his words.