I Swear I Won't Bother You Again!
182. Burning Out Syndrome
"Master Violet, the hot milk will be cold."
"... oh, I'm sorry. I was confused."
If you're tired, maybe you should get some rest today.
It's okay, I can't sleep at all because my eyes are waking up
I'm worried about that, though.
The cup in both hands is already out of steam. It was supposed to be warm at first, but now the coldness of the ceramics was beginning to take away the temperature at my fingertips.
The anger that was like a fiery fire had disappeared, the emptiness and sense of loss after burning out. It felt like there was a hole somewhere in my heart, but it was because I was thrown away the emotion that was clinging to it.
It wasn't all over, but I felt like it was all over somehow.
"Hey, can you sit next to me?"
"Huh?... yes, I don't mind."
Shaking his long skirt, his face, which he always looked up from the sofa, falls to the same eye. The distance is for each person, and I can reach it if I reach out, but it is a little far to feel the temperature.
Why was it that I couldn't line up next to you? When my real mother was alive, she stole the eyes of an adult and sat down by herself. I lost my mind, and I didn't even notice it.
The distance from her, Marine's shoulders tightened slightly. I know I'm just surprised, so I keep my head on that shoulder without saying anything.
It's funny, isn't it?
"Eh......"
"I'm so relieved for Marine."
The temperature of life you feel nearby. When you put your palms together, you feel even more secure. Your lungs are filled with the same sweet and gentle air as this hand-made hot milk, and it feels good to just breathe.
I never had feelings for those people in that house.
"It can't be helped." I can't... I don't think I want to forgive you. With that kind of emotion, that's the relationship we have. "
Mary Jun wasn't the only one who dreamed. Even Violet suitably dreamed of [family] and was frustrated.
I hope today is a setback for Mary June. That's the only kindness Violet has, the only reality she can pin down.
"If I could just say goodbye calmly, it would have been a beautiful end." But that's impossible. I am a harsh man. Because that's the only thing that really resembles it. "
I don't want to admit it, but I really look like my parents.
A child who has just grown up, who is selfish, arrogant, and good, and who immediately hits the person who wakes up. I tried to kill Mary Jun by soliciting resentment, and my father beat me up in anger. It's just like what I did. There is no way to ascertain whether it is due to the education of the real mother or whether it is the original nature.
"Because of the similarity, it may not have been possible." My mother wanted the same as my father, and my father wanted someone different from my mother. I was a half-baked child to both. When I was born as a woman, my father and mother didn't need Violet. "
If I were a man, I could be the Old Man my mother wanted. If I had been a man, my father would not have seen the face of Bell Rose. At the time they were daughters, Violet was a failure for both of them, and it was only natural to throw it away.
But if you're born a man, Violet doesn't have a healthy, soft future. It can be fake as a mother's toy, or it can be a toy that protects Mary June's freedom as her father's heir.
"Me, too. It was a mistake for me to be born between those two. I didn't need them in my life."
No matter how much you fall, you can't be a family with those people. An exhaustively broken collection that doesn't even have time for effort or hope. Regardless, cutting the edge is the only way to reach a solution.
"... I'm tired"
She slowly closed her eyes while keeping her body in Marine's hands.
The thought of myriad senses swirled, and a word that had fallen to zero resembled a sigh.
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