I Really Didn’t Want to be a Savior

After a long time, Chen Feng turned his head and looked at his close lover sleeping soundly on the pillow through the moonlight.

His mind was a little empty, and many complicated thoughts were boiling.

His memories gradually flowed uncontrollably.

Since the two met, they have gone from misunderstandings and suspicions to relying on each other, and then admiring each other. Then Chen Feng felt ashamed, but Zhong Lei became more and more affectionate, and then Chen Feng finally showed his face and confessed. He wanted to say goodbye, but he fell deeper and deeper into the point. Bits and pieces emerged from the bottom of his heart, and then swallowed up his emotions.

Although they are now very familiar with each other, Chen Feng still deeply remembers the indescribable shock in his heart when he first recognized Zhong Lei and found out that she was Beethoven from the next thousand years.

At that time, Chen Feng didn't dare to expect too much. He just thought that even if he could become an ordinary friend, he would be satisfied if he just said a few words.

He never thought that he would live nine lives in just nine months, see countless births, separations, and deaths, and his whole person would be completely transformed. Now he would finally become a more remarkable "female version of Beethoven."

It was obviously a fact, but he still felt like he was in another world and couldn't believe it.

It was like a dream. This big dream contained ups and downs, as well as happiness and satisfaction. Chen Feng knew it was a dream, but he didn't want to wake up and couldn't wake up.

He still occasionally fantasizes that if there is no crisis, everything will continue to be ordinary, and then he will always look up to Zhong Lei who is flying higher and higher in the ordinary, and sometimes he will feel sorry for himself and lament why he didn't get along with each other when they were neighbors. Make the relationship better.

This fate may be sad for me, but it is hard to say whether it is good or bad for civilization.

Chen Feng took another peek at Zhong Lei, then silently buried his face in the pillow.

At this time, he didn't know whether he was ashamed or excited, or maybe he had a heavy sense of responsibility.

This was the first time in a long time that he had another person sleeping next to him while traveling through time.

well.

Time to go to bed, hopefully I can do better this time.

must!

The next morning, Chen Feng opened his eyes in a daze.

The furnishings in the room are still familiar.

The sixteen pairs of woolen pants that had been shaken to the floor along with the quilt when the love was intense last night were neatly stacked on the bedside table.

Chen Feng rubbed his eyes, sat up straight, and looked around.

This is indeed the master bedroom of my own villa.

Um?

About five seconds later, he realized something, his pupils suddenly widened, and his face became extremely distorted, showing panic and confusion.

Chen Feng gritted his teeth.

It’s over… it’s over!

I didn't go there!

Time travel failed!

This...what should I do?

Did we win this time?

My mission is over?

The finale?

How is Tang Tianxin doing?

How is everyone doing?

Have humans rushed out of the solar system?

Is it really... over?

The Compound Eye Civilization is so powerful, could it be that I really did such a good job this time and successfully destroyed the fleet of the Compound Eye Civilization in the galaxy?

Will the Compound Eye Civilization's home star in the Virgo Local Galaxy Group send a new, larger and more advanced fleet?

What is the next step for the super-order civilization that created the solar dome and the electronic black hole?

How did we fight this battle?

How did you win?

Or are we actually losing?

Is it just that the energy that supports me traveling through time and space has been exhausted?

…

Ten thousand questions kept popping up in his mind one after another that made him anxious, but it was still messy even if he didn't clean it up.

These seemingly simple issues, but often affecting the survival of tens of billions of people and the survival of the entire civilization, constantly impacted his mind.

Gradually, Chen Feng's face turned pale and he held his head in his hands, feeling extremely annoyed and frightened.

He had long feared that such a day would come.

That is when you suddenly lose the ability to travel through time and space, and then you don't know what will happen next, and you can only leave the future to fate.

Yes, I have already planned how I will go in the rest of my life, and I also have inexhaustible wealth potential. I am destined to become the richest man in the world in twenty or thirty years at the latest, and become a man of science and technology admired by everyone. A dual leader in the arts, this time he might even become an invisible boss in politics.

But does this make sense?

Who is not a cup of loess after all?

What I want is not the present, but the future!

Bastard, why did you just give up on me?

Give me a few more chances and maybe I'll succeed!

I know that traveling through time and space is like replicating the universe. This consumes a lot of energy, beyond my imagination. Can I lower my requirements?

Give me another chance, even just once!

Don't give up on us just because we don't agree!

Humans...have really worked hard!

This is not fair!

Unconsciously, Chen Feng clenched his fists and his eyes turned red.

His emotions told him that he couldn't just give up and admit defeat, but his reason told him that it was impossible.

I haven't done enough, far from it.

This time, humans may not even be able to completely plant warships, let alone find ways to crack the prism ship grid links, energy field shields and super strong materials.

He will still be defeated.

what to do?

In addition, there was another layer of reason speaking to him.

Give up, that's a thousand years from now.

By then, his tombstone will have turned yellow and weathered, and he will be dead long ago.

Even if humanity perishes, what does it have to do with me?

But he couldn't help but the names popped up in his mind.

Tang Tianxin, Lin Bu, Ding Hu, Ou Qinglan, Dong Shan, Ouyang Zhenghua, Sergey, Lai Wenming...

These people tied his heart and the future so tightly that they were inseparable.

He is no longer a pure person of the 21st century. He will be more desperate, more frightened, more nervous and self-blaming than any of the subjects in the Oxford professor's questionnaire.

Others' doom is hypothetical, his doom is real.

He cannot respond with indifference and indifference, so he will feel pain.

He would always think that so many people, struggling and working hard from generation to generation, would eventually face the end of their life being completely cut off.

Everyone will die, everyone will die, and everyone will be ruthlessly erased from the traces of their past existence.

Obviously we have worked so hard.

But our enemy is too strong, and there is an unimaginable power behind the enemy.

What should I do?

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I let everyone down.

This time... I failed to time travel!

Sometimes the memory is too good and cannot be forgotten, which is also a great sadness.

There is no need to elaborate on the nature of forgetting, but the significance of forgetting to people is not only the loss of certain memories, but also a human ability to protect themselves.

The most easily forgotten things, the most unstable quantum spiral structures in the human brain, are exactly the things that cause people pain.

Under the subtle impact of emotional needs, these painful quantum spirals that make up memories will continue to be impacted and disintegrate at a faster speed.

But as Chen Feng's gene arousal continued to increase, his memory became stronger and stronger, and his talent for forgetting gradually became weaker and weaker.

He will remember the good things as well as the painful feelings.

Chen Feng can clearly sense that as the level of genetic arousal continues to increase, in addition to changes in physical fitness, the human brain's memory, logical analysis ability, and thinking acuity are constantly improving. His ability to perceive pain and happiness has also increased. It also continues to improve.

However, pain is always more profound in memory. When most people recall their childhood, the images that most come to mind are those of sadness and anger.

Happy memories are always very short-lived and elusive.

Therefore, as memory improves, the emotional impact of pain becomes more intense.

To face this increasingly intense emotional impact, human beings' need for willpower is also increasing invisibly.

Willpower is a very mysterious thing.

Will often changes with a person's experience, level of knowledge, and experiences. At the same time, it is also based on the current world view and the historical deposits passed down by the entire civilization.

Chen Feng gradually understood one thing.

No wonder the human gene awakening rate in the 21st century can only reach 25%.

This is clearly a biological self-protection instinct.

Human beings are not equipped to do so when they cannot bear their weight.

Weak populations possess overly powerful thinking abilities in advance, which does not necessarily lead to a better future.

It is more likely that there will be widespread psychological collapse in the population, which will lead to the collapse of civilization.

Assuming that there is a second "native" of the 21st century who has the same arousal and thinking ability as him at this time, let alone achieve anything, I am afraid that the pain accumulated in the heart of the super memory will make this person instantly His mind collapsed and he became a madman.

Chen Feng was able to hold on because he went to the future many times before slowly growing up, or maybe he himself was somewhat gifted in the matter of endurance.

But no matter how strong the willpower is, people still need time to eliminate negative emotions. It is impossible to deceive themselves and others by saying that I am fine, and it really is fine.

At this time, Chen Feng could no longer control his emotions. He held his head with both hands and kept rubbing his hair.

He was in a state of unspeakable loss and grief.

He took out his notebook which was filled with "Five Hundred Year Plan" and looked at his penetrating handwriting on it.

Chen Feng took a deep breath, thinking about the battle between heaven and man in his mind, constantly deducing and calculating, trying to deceive himself and come to a conclusion. He wanted to deceive himself. He wanted to tell himself that as long as he strictly implemented the "Five Hundred Year Plan", he would be able to achieve success. success.

However, after a long time, he violently threw the notebook forward.

Snapped!

The thick notebook was typed on the large-screen TV in front of me.

Chen Feng looked up at the sky, his hands trembling uncontrollably.

Impossible, you will lose.

I can't lie to myself.

It's all my fault. If I had worked harder and fought harder, maybe I would have succeeded?

I haven't done enough.

I...I am a sinner!

His eyes were sore, and his heart was filled with unspeakable grief.

In his mind, he could not help but imagine the scenario of human beings being defeated and destroyed a thousand years later.

At this moment, the bedroom door opened and Zhong Lei, wearing men's pajamas, walked in.

She didn't see Chen Feng for the moment, but lowered her head and muttered some melody.

Then she looked up again and saw Chen Feng, whose face was as gray as if he was having an epilepsy. She was startled and rushed forward, "What's wrong with you?"

Chen Feng's dead eyes slowly turned to Zhong Lei's face.

Looking at her concerned eyes, Chen Feng's eyes gradually regained some life.

He took a deep breath and said slowly in a sad tone that others could not understand: "Zhong Lei, I failed, I failed to time travel. I did not pass. I lost the ability to travel through time and space to change the future. I... we are destined to lose. .In a thousand years, humanity will cease to exist.”

Seeing Chen Feng's rare and extremely defeated look, Zhong Lei was stunned for a long time.

Then she slowly sat on the edge of the bed, took Chen Feng's hand, and gently scratched his palm with her fingertips, "Didn't we think about this thoroughly yesterday?"

"Um?"

"Are you going too far? We are the ones left behind! In the future, you are still waiting for us to create a better present for him! Why are you so sure that it was you who lost your ability to travel, and not us who were left behind? ? Do you have evidence? Why don’t you think in a good direction if there is something that cannot be proven without evidence? What are you thinking about? "

Chen Feng was shocked and stunned.

The two stared at each other like this for five minutes.

He scratched his head in embarrassment, "Yes. Is it possible?"

Zhong Lei patted his head, "It's not possible, but it must be the case. We must believe this and tell ourselves this!"

"Ha...hahaha...right, right."

Chen Feng suddenly realized something.

No wonder that in the previous timeline, after each time travel, he would go into hibernation for a period of time, not showing up much, not interacting with people, not even doing anything, and seemed like a very reserved person.

He really didn't take it seriously at the time and didn't think it was a big problem.

Every time he looked through history books in the past, his perspective spanned thousands of years, and even his "short" life in the past could easily span hundreds of years.

In such a long time span, a window period of just one or two months is really insignificant.

Looking back from the perspective of historical data, even if Chen Feng himself did not appear in public during this period, he was still behind the scenes in matters that were originally planned to be changed and promoted. Therefore, if you don't think about it carefully, you won't be able to detect the strangeness.

Now Chen Feng understands.

In fact, this period was my lowest period.

I experience this kind of pain and panic every time.

You must complete your psychological construction and tell yourself that there is a possibility, so that you can adjust and return to work.

If Zhong Lei was not around today, Chen Feng felt that given his personality, he would probably still choose to hide, then gradually recover, and slowly come out of the corner. Through constant self-encouragement and spiritual hints, he would choose to self-paralyze and believe in the second Only by creating better possibilities can we strive for life along the established direction with great willpower.

This process is easy to say, but Chen Feng can only speculate and imagine how many negative emotions, how many psychological twists and turns, and how many times he struggled in the quagmire of despair.

He suddenly grinned and squeezed Zhong Lei's hand in turn, "Fortunately, I have you this time."

Zhong Lei: "Yes. It should be."

"Nice to have you."

After a moment of silence, Zhong Lei suddenly grinned, "But from now on, the two of us are destined to disappear, and we are fake people."

Chen Feng was stunned for a moment, and then smiled, "Ha, okay, but that's not important."

"Yes, it's not important. What's important is how much civilizational wealth we two false people can leave for the future and the reality of the future."

"Well, cheer up and get to work."

Chen Feng chatted with Zhong Lei for a while, then had a busy breakfast together, and then personally drove her to Mason College.

Yes, Zhong Lei lied last night.

She didn't ask for leave.

Chen Feng watched Zhong Lei enter the door of Mason College.

She turned around when she was about to turn the corner and enter the corridor.

The two waved their hands from a distance.

Chen Feng turned around, got in the car, and prepared to drive away.

Zhong Lei called him again.

"Actually, I conceived a new song this morning. I won't have class today. I'm going to come up with the lyrics and the basic melody first."

"What song is it?"

"Happiness to the Nth power."

"Hey, what a cheesy song title."

"Happiness is a very tacky thing, like rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea."

Chen Feng smiled, "But I believe this song will be very special."

"Of course. By the way, I recently learned the yodeling technique. I'll let you listen next time."

"Huh? You want to sing in a song?"

"no."

"Then when will you listen?"

"you guess."

Then Zhong Lei hung up the phone.

Chen Feng scratched his head for a moment, then giggled for a while and continued driving.

Life must go on and the future remains unknown.

Everyone has to struggle on their own path.

Chen Feng is preparing to go to the headquarters of the North American branch.

He thought of Fatty Ou again.

The fat man must be busy reading the reports and getting familiar with the business.

When he arrived yesterday, Fatty had already registered in advance for the MBA program at the University of California, Berkeley.

In fact, the fat man already has an MBA certificate, but he plans to study it again and make up for the mistakes he made when he was dawdling in the past.

Recently, Fatty has developed a not-so-good mantra.

"Master, I will never let you down, nor will I let my dad, my wife, and my children down!"

Chen Feng didn't really like the catchphrase Fatty.

He sees things differently.

The fat man's words reminded him of the thinking cocoon in the 31st century in the previous timeline.

Chen Feng also realized that there was one of the biggest problems in people's outlook on life in the previous timeline.

At that time, people struggled and worked hard not for themselves, but for the recognition of others.

This other person includes a wide range of people, including family members, relatives, friends, teachers, colleagues, everyone in society, and the ancients who "know under the spring".

Take the Metroid Warriors as an example. When most people become Metroid Warriors, what they think about is that they can bring glory to their families and bring a higher social status to the community.

He felt particularly deeply when he returned to the capital of Shu. At that time, his family members and relatives expressed their expectations and appreciation for him, and they were also proud of his achievements.

At the same time, other younger members of the family are always eager to gain his recognition, but the friendship between the families is very weak. Everyone is still busy and trying their best to do their own things. What they say is that they will never embarrass you, a top warrior.

Going back in time, since 2500, the core belief that supports the world has become to prevent the efforts of the sage Chen Feng from being in vain and not to let the predecessors and martyrs be disappointed.

On the surface, this seems to be a good habit and a shortcut to gaining a strong will, but taking shortcuts will inevitably pay a price.

The price is that later generations artificially built a cocoon of thoughts.

Chen Feng now thinks this is all wrong.

The support of people's beliefs should not be based on the approval of others.

The essence of this outlook on life is vanity, which is also an integral part of the core framework of the thinking cocoon.

People's motivation for struggle should be based more on self-drive.

Belief should be self-realization of life value.

Endogenous power is stronger, more durable and stable than exogenous power.

This should be considered an additional update. Thanks again to Lao Youzi for the 50,000 reward at the right time! There is one more chapter before twelve o'clock in the evening.