11. A bird that flew over the nest – 01

With that, everything ended. The winter that surrounded her was over, and she realized that spring had arrived.

When she came to her senses, Sarah thought that the world around her was very bright. Why? It is still night and the sky is so dark and gloomy, but will my world be so bright and splendid?

…And why are you standing in the center of my world?

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My world with you is no longer cold, no longer dark. My lonely world has hidden the old look of the past.

…a lot has been lost. All along, it was a life in which something was lost. In fact, I couldn’t believe that you said you would save me. Because the hopes I had always ended in tragedy.

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Maybe that’s what I wanted to believe. Even if it’s such an ugly world, even if it’s a world where I can’t be happy, I might have had to admit that this world is too attractive to be the worst. Maybe I wanted to believe that this despair I was feeling might turn into hope one day. Maybe, he was holding out hope that a special moment might come to a woman like me.

So I gambled with my fate. In the belief that you would save me, I gave my life to you. And in my life, a lot has changed since you were put in the center. The world I see has become such a beautiful and rich world just because you were put in the center.

Now, it doesn’t hurt anymore. In the future, I will be able to equally weigh the things I have lost and the things I will gain. For the life to come, I was able to smile and say ‘hello’ to everything.

“…ah.”

I was happy. What made me happy was everything. I was glad that he was thinking of me this way, and I was glad that he kept his promise to save me in the end.

At his hand, the fact that he was saved made him happy.

…why? I’m happy right now, but I can’t help but feel so happy. Why do only tears flow from my eyes?

I always wanted to show my pretty side in front of you, but I didn’t want to see this kind of tearful appearance in front of you, even if I cried, I wanted to steal the tears with a quiet look, but why am I crying so hard in your arms like this?

Sara, who had been crying in Cain’s arms for a long time, took a step back from him as if she had regained her composure a little bit, and took a look at her face. Even though his eyes were bloodshot from so many tears, and the sound of sniffling still reached Cain’s ears.

Cain wanted to give Sarah a handkerchief, but soon realized that he was a person who would never become a gentleman and would never carry a handkerchief in his arms. Well, Sara also soaked his front island with tears as if it were a substitute for a handkerchief, so after all, she was no different than teacher.

“…Sorry.”

After sobbing for a long time after that, those were the first words that came out of Sara’s mouth.

“What are you sorry about?”

“You killed because of me. Because of me, you killed people.”

Sarah patted Cain’s chest and said so. It wasn’t intentional, but anyway, the two had been in an engaged relationship for several years. Sarah knew all too well what kind of person Cain von Estel was.

The Cain Sarah knew was a man who could never be called a warrior. He was a man who was more suited to holding a pen than holding a sword, and preferred to read quietly in his room rather than standing on top of someone else and giving orders.

Recently, he had heard rumors that he had been training his swordsmanship quite hard, and that he had successively defeated strong men famous on the continent, but even so, the Cain that Sara remembered was a weak scholar himself. Crucially, what Cain did was only an extension of the duel. Sarah had never heard anything about him killing people.

But today, he killed his uncle. Enough to break the immortality so far, Cain was angry on Sarah’s behalf, fought on her behalf, and eventually killed him instead.

…Actually, I was a little happy about that fact. Sarah’s heart fluttered slightly at the fact that such a modest and gentle man could be so angry for me.

However, at this moment, there was only one emotion filling her heart: guilt.

‘It’s all because of me.’

Sarah’s eyes began to spin. I couldn’t do anything for you, but he, who would never have had blood on his hands in his life, ended up killing someone because of himself. As far as she knew, the first time a person kills someone, the guilt is enormous, even if they look fine on the outside. So, Cain might be comforting himself on the outside, but he might be struggling on the inside. No, it’s probably for sure. Because he is a very kind person.

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Meanwhile, seeing Sarah suffering all alone, Cain couldn’t figure out what to say. As a lord ruling a duchy in the future, not only did he personally execute a few criminals, he couldn’t boast that he had the experience of rushing to the dying ‘Witch of Winter’ and stabbing her heart with a sword. ?

“…I’m really fine.”

As long as he couldn’t reveal the fact that he had returned from the future 10 years later, the only thing that came out of Cain’s mouth was these lame excuses, and the misunderstanding between them only deepened.

“No, I am not okay.”

Saying that, by the time Sarah makes a firm commitment to something in her heart, Cain quickly changes the subject as if she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“By the way, what are you going to do now?”

“What are you going to do?”

When Sarah is confused because she does not understand Cain’s words, Cain looks at her and explains step by step.

“So, how are you going to live from now on? I want to hear about your life plan.”

“…my life plan?”

“Officially, after being kidnapped by an unknown assailant, you will be treated as if your life or death is unknown. If you don’t like whereabouts, I can make a fake corpse and treat you as a dead person.”

For Arya, making a corpse that would fool the eyes of the world wouldn’t be a big deal.

“So, nothing holds you back now. Now it’s okay to do everything according to your will. Because you are completely free.”

“So, I’d like to hear about your plans for the future. Can you tell me that much?”

At Cain’s playful words, Sarah put on a dazed expression.

“…freedom?”

freedom. Yes, it was. He has now become a free body. I can do anything I want, I can live my life the way I want, and I can go wherever my heart goes.

…In fact, I’ve longed for freedom so much, but I’ve never thought about what happened after I got it. It was just something I longed for because I couldn’t reach it. Yes, just as there are things that are more beautiful because they are unattainable, like the stars in the night sky are beautiful because they are out of reach, she too had been anxiously wishing for the freedom she could never get.

If it had been Sarah not too long ago, she would not have been able to give a proper answer to Cain’s words. Up until now, in my life, I had never taken the initiative to do something.

But not now. There was no need to hesitate. Because just now, she has come up with something she really wants to do. yeah really

“…Cain.”

Sara puts a soft smile on her lips and asks him a question.

“Cain, do you remember when we met in the island?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Then, do you also remember the conversation you and I had on the terrace?”

“I don’t remember that either, of course.”

How could I not remember? It was the moment when he realized that Sarah Cernard, who was his first love and the object of his agony, was in fact embracing such a gloomy situation behind the scenes that others’ eyes did not reach.

“Then I’m sure you also remember the last thing you said to me.”

“…Yes, I do remember.”

At that time, he had obviously said this to Sarah.

– Sarah, would you die for me?

“What the hell did you mean by that?”

To Sarah’s question, Cain unknowingly put a bitter smile on his lips. It was because even though he had said it himself, hearing it again through her mouth like this had a cheesy side to it. In fact, it didn’t even mean anything.

The reason Cain said such a thing was simple. I just wanted to find out Sarah’s determination.

Sarah at that time looked desperate indeed. He seemed to be in a predicament without knowing it, and he was just full of earnestness as if he could do anything to achieve his goal.

However, even for Cain, it was quite a burden to collide head-on with Count Sernad. It was a point where it hadn’t been long since she had returned to 10 years ago, and at that time, Arya did not rise to the level of a great wizard like she does now, but because she was just a cute lady-in-waiting for the Duke of Estelle.

…Even so, Cain couldn’t turn away from her. I couldn’t stand to watch her staring at me like an abandoned puppy.

So, he asked her. If I accepted you, I asked her if you would be willing to give up everything you currently have and come to me.

“At that time, I couldn’t give you an answer back.”

Sarah took something out of her arms. It was a sharpened dagger.

“The answer I couldn’t answer then, even though it’s a bit late, I’ll give it back to you now.”

Saying that, Sara put the dagger behind her neck and—

Took-

He cut off his own long hair without hesitation.

Sarak-

Her hair, which had been down to her waist, suddenly changed to a bob length that went down to the nape of her neck.

“…Sarah, you.”

And looking at the scene, Cain momentarily forgot what to say to her.

The meaning of a woman cutting her own hair was twofold. One is to leave it as a token of the meaning of swearing eternal love to one’s lover. And the other one –

An irrevocable oath to entrust everything to him.

“Cain, no, Duke Estelle.”

Sara smiled softly like never before and whispered softly to him.

“As the Duke said, I abandoned Sernard’s castle. Right now, I’m not the daughter of Count Sernard, I’m just a lowly woman that can be found everywhere.”

So I want to tell you Right now, at this moment when I have gained true freedom, not at any other moment, under my complete will, I really want to tell you this.

“The Little Duke gave me freedom.”

Even if you can’t be mine, even if I suffer alone watching you for the rest of my life, even if I suffer like that for the rest of my life. Even if this heart of mine never reaches you

“I want to use the freedom I’ve gained while serving Duke Estelle. Could you give me permission?”

I just want to be by your side

It’s okay if you don’t look back at me Because just looking at it like this is enough.

So, at this moment, I will tell you one last time. I’ll say it last.

Cain.

Love you. forever and ever And all the way.

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