I AM GOD!

1 End of an Obsession P1

The day mother died was the day I encountered something, to some it was an idea, to others a belief, to myself it became my identity.

Looking at my mother on her deathbed I asked curiously. "Why are you dying mama? Why do you look so scary?"

Although my eyes were a little moist, it was caused by the crying of my older siblings beside me; I don't know if it was sadness or just the depressing atmosphere. I was ignorant of life and death. In fact, I was shaken by what had happened to my previously vibrant and beautiful mother.

Her withered body contorted in pain as she drenched the sheets in sweat.

No longer did she have a head of luscious red hair, all that was left were a few tufts on her discolored scalp and the rest thin and gone. Her face was deathly pale with sunken eyes and thin cheeks from heavy weight loss. She could be mistaken for a skeleton if it wasn't for the skin on her bones.

Where was my beautiful mother gone? Why was replaced by this broken woman. The many questions in my fragile childlike mind were answered by a simple sentence.

"Only god knows darling, you don't need to worry about mama." Mother smiled weakly.

A deeply religious woman my mother was to be sure but still, her final ramblings had caught me off guard. I was young, not yet 6 years old but the mention of this "God" resounded in my mind. I'd never heard of this being before but the reverence in my mothers eyes as she clutched the silver cross that hung from her neck sparked an interest that would fixate itself in my mind like a sturdy mountain.

"Only god knows? Who is this god?" I mumbled to myself.

That very same day my mother passed away. I remember it vividly, the calming grey clouds, the daffodils beside the hospital entrance and even the comically large glasses on the hospital receptionist.

Driven by my budding curiosity and with ample access to the internet, I began my search.

I was astounded by what I found, there were many gods, kind and cruel. But they had one thing in common, their absolute superiority and power! They were above us like the stars in the sky, ethereal.

Something grew inside me while reading their fabulous tales, it was a whisper in my heart. A silent desire I didn't understand at the time.

As I grew older I came to understand the world better. The logic behind my mothers death, terminal cancer, an untreatable condition but thoroughly understood. The tales of gods that haunted my dreams were thought as "Fantasy and myth" by the masses. The world was no longer black and white, known and unknown. It was filled with a myriad of colors both beautiful and hideous.

But in my heart, that desire I had was still there and it would increase with each passing day.

Like a worm wriggling and squirming at the back of my mind, seeking to be free. The desire hidden away in the depths eventually came to light, not in some meaningful way but as I was having my morning fruit loops, quite strange really.

I desired to become god!

Even I didn't know why I desired this but it was there, unflinching, unchanging, immovable.

It became my obsession.

But what could I do about that? I was just a pitiful girl in a world filled with logic and rational thought. Where's the magic, the immortals and gods? Nowhere.. because this is earth, home of the mundane. I won't let that stop me though, surely I would find a chance of gaining my sole desire.

I decided to start small by attempting to contact the supernatural, anything that can prove that my desires might bear fruit.

There have been many unexplained phenomena throughout history, roanoke, the bermuda triangle, the disappearance of the town of greenwood springs.

I just needed to get my foot in the door.

As my desire grew, so did the methods and extremes I would go to satisfy my wish, anything to make it reality.

Going unnoticed, I didn't realize how my obsession twisted and warped me. On the surface others would see an ordinary plain girl but inside...was focused madness.

It took some time but finally my chance came but it was not through my tireless but meaningless efforts, just a suggestion from someone, a stranger.

...

One fateful day in a not so abandoned warehouse~

Numerous candles were situated throughout the dark building, in the middle of the barely lit room was a large pentagram drawn crudely on the floor in what looks to be pigs blood. Surrounding it were some stick dolls, dead birds and other creepy objects.

In the center was a plain girl in her early 20's dressed in a red robe with a inverted cross badly sewn onto it and a young child around 7 years old. The child was tied down laying on his back but there is no fear on his face, more like eagerness.

While chanting some unknown incomprehensible words the girl was interrupted by the boy.

"Hey! Hey! Big sis, you're really going to buy me a zbox 420 right?" The boy asked excitedly ignorant to the dangerous situation he was in.

"Yes, yes. Be quiet, after the ritual." The girl replied hastily with slight annoyance.

The young child nodded his head with an eager smile as she continued chanting the strange words.

After about 10 minutes the chanting has seemed to reached it's climax, with the girl gasping for breath, she raised a dagger with eerie skull as a pommel above the boys naked chest, candle flames flicker ominously in her eyes as she shouted. "Klaatu!.. Barada!.. Nikto!!"

With all her might she brought down the dagger upon the naive child.

Before the dagger could tear it's way into the soft fleshy chest of the unsuspecting boy, she was interrupted by a voice.

"That's not gonna work silly girl." A tall woman appeared from the darkness, black track pants and a loose white blouse cover her beautiful curves. Her chest was perky and modest, legs slender and long. Her feet wearing some cute flowery flip-flops. A straight nose, breathtaking dark eyes that seemed to resemble the void of space, chestnut brown hair in a shoulder length bob and tan skin were slowly revealed as she got closer to the lit area of the room, her movements and posture were lazy and unrefined.

The girl didn't panic at the sudden intrusion, she merely frowned and placed her free hand on her chin as a thoughtful expression emerged, she mumbled. "That can't be, it should work this time. Last time I said varada instead of barada.. maybe I didn't bring enough birds?"

"Interesting." The woman murmured, an amused expression appeared on the her face as she walked towards the young girl who was deep in thought.

Stopping in front of the girl who was still lost in her thoughts, the woman scrutinized her closely. [This girl is clearly near the breaking point, after a few more failures she would have lost it and shattered completely.]

The woman smiled inwardly. [Lets give her a little hope.]

"Hey, I know a way you know, a real possibility for you to become a god." The woman whispered in the girls ear startling her.

"Really? you do?! Quickly tell me!" The young girl Shook the strange woman in a frenzied manner. She was oblivious to everything else, only demanding an answer. All that was on her mind was her obsession. It had reached such extremes that she could be diagnosed as mentally ill if examined by a psychiatrist.

The woman covered her mouth as she giggled. "My my, why aren't you an eager little bird. Don't worry, I'll tell you but it's only a chance," The woman's lips raised into a sly smile as she continued. "If you fail you'll be torn to shreds and erased from existence. Also, the chances of you failing are almost certain but who knows, maybe a miracle will happen."

"If there's a chance no matter how small, I'll take it." The girls eyes grew resolute.

"Well come on then, follow me." The woman turned around.

"My name is-" The girl was interrupted mid sentence by the woman.

"Your name is Ariel right? I wonder if it's related to the creator god demiurge? Heh.. It may be fitting if you survive." The woman chuckled.

Ariel shook her head as she replied. "No, mother named me after the angel."

"How may I address you?" She asked.

There was a brief moment of silence before the woman replied. "My name? You can call me Lain."

Walking towards the exit the two are interrupted by a shout.

"Uhh big sis! what about me?" The young boy yelled out.

Lain sighed before turning towards Ariel. "You should deal with that before we go."

Ariel nodded. With her hand still clutching the dagger she walked towards the boy slowly, a brief cutting sound could be heard a few seconds later.

Tap the screen to use advanced tools Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between chapters.

You'll Also Like