Chapter 15 (3)

A Realization of Feelings

 They were still eating when Cheng Jingbo’s table finished their meal. Cheng Jingbo stood up, and glanced for a brief moment in Bo Ziren’s direction, before turning around and walking out of the restaurant with his friends.

“I know who he is! He is a teacher at the University of Finance and Economics. He’s actually quite famous. When he first started at the school, the girls went crazy and they queued up to attend his class. The crowd became so large that they weren’t able to move. What was his name again? Ugh, I seem to have forgotten it, though I think I remember his last name being Cheng.”

Zhou Dou listened to Senior Sister Luo’s statement and mulled it over silently for a while.

“Really?” Bo Ziren took the initiative to chat with Senior Sister Luo for the first time. “Is he very popular with the students?”

“He should be. After all, people can never resist that kind of person.”

“You seem to be really interested in him,” said Zhou Dou improperly. “Why? Is that kind of man your type?”

Bo Ziren stayed silent. Just when everyone thought she was too embarrassed to answer, she said, “Yes, that kind of man is nice.”

“…”

Zhou Dou’s smile slowly faded. His fingers gripped his glass tightly, as he slowly analyzed the situation.

“Unfortunately, your chances there are slim. You have little chance of meeting him again in the future, and even if he was standing right in front of you, you wouldn’t even have the courage to speak to him.”

Huang Xiaoling was dissatisfied with this remark.

“Zhou Dou, what you’ve just said was way too mean.”

“When people can’t adapt to my speaking style, it only means they are too fragile and have poor resistance to pressure. I suggest that they should go back to the furnace and remake themselves.”

Huang Xiaoling gritted her teeth, her chopsticks trembling in her hand.

When Bo Ziren returned to the dormitory, she sent a text message to Cheng Jingbo saying she was sorry that she didn’t walk up and say hello in the restaurant.

[Cheng Jingbo: It’s okay, you should really go and hang out more with your peers. But don’t stay out too late.]

Bo Ziren felt a little strange. She was unable to describe it in detail, but she felt like she was being slightly pushed away. Even though she knew he wouldn’t pay attention to such a trivial matter, she still couldn’t shake the feeling away.

That weekend, Cheng Jingbo told her he would not be able to accompany Bo Ziren to the psychological clinic due to an unspecified reason, further strengthening her doubts.

As the hour-long session came to a close, Dr. Chen closed his record book.

“I’m going on a business trip for the next few weeks, which just so happens to coincide with your upcoming exam. Let’s wait to meet again till after the holiday.”

Bo Ziren concurred, and then said goodbye. As she walked out of the clinic, she found it had begun to rain, so she jogged across the corridor to the hospital lobby to wait it out. After finding a place to sit, she began to think about all the issues tumbling around in her brain and realized her thoughts were getting more fierce. She seemed to have found herself caught in an unprecedented contradiction; a relationship problem that had nothing to do with academics. Since she had zero experience regarding these things, she stumbled through her thoughts, unable to find a clear answer.

After an unknown length of time, she inadvertently raised her eyes, only to once again find that familiar person in front of her. He was taking the escalator down, and he wasn’t alone. His companion was a woman in a long cashmere coat.

The woman kept her head down, and her shoulders trembled as if she were crying. Cheng Jingbo was talking to her, and suddenly the trembling in her shoulders became more pronounced, and the sound of her crying reached Bo ZIren’s ears. Seeming to become unable to bear what was ailing her, the woman fell onto him, and he didn’t push her away. Instead, he helped her stay standing, placing his hands on her shoulder and patting her solemnly.

This scene made Bo Ziren’s thoughts come to a complete standstill. She decided to leave immediately, and she rushed to the door with her bag hastily thrown over her shoulder.

Just as she was about to run out into the rain, a voice from behind her stopped her in her tracks.

“Bo Ziren.”

Hearing his voice caused her to instinctively turn around before she could adjust her expression, and she was met with his usual calm and focused gaze.

“A friend of mine was hospitalized, and the result of the examination wasn’t so great. His wife is very upset.”

He kept his eyes on her steadily, and said slowly, “They have been in a very good relationship. It actually hasn’t been long since they got married, so it’s a heavy blow to her as his wife and partner.”

He finished speaking and looked at her quietly, not offering an explanation on anything else.

This simple utterance was enough to allow her to walk out of the obscure chaos in her mind, into the bright light of the world, finally emerging with an answer that brought comfort to the bottom of her heart.

She liked him,

Maybe she had fallen in love the moment she’d first laid eyes on him, and she just hadn’t realized it until this very moment. This strong emotion that she’d just felt rising in her had been jealousy, and this was not a feeling she should continue problematizing. Just the fact that she felt jealous meant she liked him, and that was the most important point.

“Wait for me. I’ll take you back,” said Cheng Jingbo. After a moment, he added, “It’s raining outside. It’s not convenient for you to walk alone in this shower.”

“No, you should go be with your friends now. That’s what’s more important,” she said sincerely. Now that she understood the situation, she had returned to her normal self.

Her situation was that she would just get wet in the rain on the way back to her dorm. His friends’ situation was a matter of life and death. Any individual would be able to see which was the correct option. She also figured it was best to leave him alone so he could settle his own matters.

“It’s okay,” he stretched his hand out and stubbornly pulled her back a bit. He made sure she stood in a safe corner away from the splashing raindrops. The sound of his voice close to her ear made her feel a sense of relief.

“Just stand here and wait for me.”