Entertainment: The strongest newcomer in the heyday of Nantu

"Why live so hard?"

They won't debut anyway. For an ignorant dream, the brothers had to spend time in the nursery.

Their minds are cold.

Compared with the alienation of all the brothers except himself being selected for the debut group, what makes him more painful is Extreme guilt.

Even though he was suffering from guilt, he could not be compensated for the time of his brothers that had passed, which made him even more painful. It was 4 years at least. He turned a blind eye to his family and only spent time in his dreams.

When his younger brothers, who always smiled at him, gradually began to treat him awkwardly, he persisted just for the sake of his debut.

But now the situation in front of him is to return to the life of a trainee.

In everything Back to the original situation, his choice was simple

"This time... pay more attention to your family."

In just 4 years, the distance from his family has widened so much. It will be repeated in the future.

In the memory of his brothers, the assumption that he may no longer exist led him to another choice.

At first he wanted to leave company. But the ones who grabbed him to leave were his fellow trainees who had a good relationship with him.

"Want to leave the company?"

"Maybe"

"Do you want to resign now?"

"……No."

When Mingkuihe asked seriously, what he couldn't answer falsely was...

Is it because he has opened his heart to them? They are always like this. Whenever he wants to give up, he doesn't know what's going on. They asked him unconsciously.

It was also at this time that the situation reversed. They went directly to the department responsible for managing trainees, explained the situation, and started working in order to prevent themselves from giving up the job.

"The kids... are in trouble. I'll give you two evening training sessions a week, and don't go to the company."

Thanks to him, he had the chance to be with his family again without giving up on his dream.

The years passed again and the brothers debuted.

The company soon began to be filled with other trainees

"Hello, brother!"

"Hello!"

Oh, hello.

It was obviously my youngest before, but as time went by, I changed into a position of accepting greetings, which is also amazing.

But I didn't have any communication with them. Because it was just like I made up my mind at the time , I made up my mind not to care too much except for my family.

But I was surprised when I saw the trainees with extraordinary qualifications coming in one after another.

The members of the world-class hip-hop troupe that I am familiar with, as well as the small producers trained in the distribution team People also joined the ranks of trainees.

In this way, while the surrounding situation changed, he also let everything go as time passed. He started working as a childcare provider, and the more time he spent at home, the closer he was to other trainees. Far away.

The number of unknown faces continues to increase, and my concern for other people gradually cools down.

"But what can be done?"

Even if I don't particularly care, they are doing a good job. Looking at them, to be honest, I also thought for a while.

Everyone seems to be doing a good job, why is it so tiring to do one thing by myself.

Therefore, keep in touch with them What was particularly distant was a bit of resistance and the selfishness of not getting into trouble. It was polite to have twice as many things to worry about when he was struggling to even get one. In this way, he justified his indifference to them..

But sometimes... there are situations where it’s hard to pretend not to see it.

Hey, do you want to turn over?

"Wow, look at him."

When he passed by, he saw a trainee who was eager for other trainees who had just come in, and he reacted inwardly.

Except for this time, it seems to be like this every time he meets several times outside the company. To be honest, I don't Knowing him too well, I know for a fact that he is problematic in many ways

"But they are well-known and capable... we should debut together."

But at the time, I felt that it had nothing to do with me, so I drew a clear line. Anyway, under the current circumstances, the most important thing to me is my family, not who I am with. Debut.

When he couldn't debut with the hyungs he really liked, it didn't matter to him.

And even if he cared about their work, he couldn't guarantee that they would do what he wanted.

In this way, the lineup of the debut group was decided. Only the time of debut was left.

He observed the members of the debut group again.

The friend who seemed to have a problem with his humanity, the producer in the publishing group. There were also four trainees who were not very close to him.

"Is this how you debut now?"

It's really about to debut, but I don't feel too happy anymore. What's on my mind is the brief feeling of finally debuting.

Because this is the moment when my dream comes true, I'm very happy, but he also lost too much.

Entering the debut After the group, he continued to go home to play with his younger brothers, or go to the nursery to see the children.

The longer he spent with them, the better the feeling that the space in his heart was fuller. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that the guilt was washed away.

Just When we were preparing to debut, the company was once again crowded with new trainees.

It was also the first time we met a trainee who was highly praised by coaches and teachers. The moment I saw him for the first time, all I thought about was his appearance. Appreciate briefly

"He should be more handsome than Brother Jin, right?"

When I first entered LnT, I saw my fellow trainees and was shocked that there were many handsome people in Seoul. I just had the same feeling as when I saw them, nothing special.

And, not long after, I I had special thoughts about him.

Just like any time, when I walked through the corridor with other trainees, I encountered a different commotion than usual.

Walking over there, Liu Jianjian grabbed the new trainee’s arms. Collar standing in front of the practice room

"……Isn't he really a traitor?"

Although I knew that minor accidents often happen, I didn't expect to attack the trainees who had just arrived.

With so much panic, Cha Zaiyi hurriedly ran to you and started to clean up the mess himself.

Zhiyou, please put this friend first Take away...health care, please talk to me for a while.

Another moment of doubt in the choices I made. What thoughts did I have to believe that nothing will happen?

Until now, I have avoided the work of other trainees , ignored it, was it because of this result? He could no longer be sure of his choice.

Then after that incident, the new trainee began to go to school with Cha Zaiyi. He observed this several times, and once in The debut group dormitory secretly asked a question about him first.

Jae Yi, how about the friend you were with recently?

Cha Jae Yi thought about the question for a while, and then gave the answer

"Hye Hyun? Huixian is kind and quiet."

Lee Kangbin probably accepted his answer. He seemed very kind on the surface.

Some time has passed since then, and everyone is busy preparing for the month-end evaluation. In addition, I think this may be the last month-end evaluation before debut, so take it seriously Prepared.

But reality betrayed him again

"This time our company signed a contract with the entertainment channel Knet and decided to launch a survival talent show starting from the next quarter. The debut group will be re-selected through the survival draft. I’ll start preparing for the show next week. I hope I’ll be mentally prepared during this time."

"…Survival game? So suddenly?"

I thought I was really going to debut this time.

Although I tried hard to calm down my thoughts, my stiff expression still couldn't be eliminated. This damn reality, how many times do I have to push myself to the last few times to be satisfied?

Now it's really , I just don’t think about anything anymore.

Even so, after the draft started, if there is a benefit, there are more things to do on the stage. The process of preparing for the stage is also very interesting. When I get on the stage, I feel like I have gained it again. Confirm why he must do this.

To be honest, although he cannot say that he tried his best on every stage...but he is still very satisfied. In the busy practice schedule, he took time to meet his brothers and children , which is also a great comfort to myself.

Thinking about it again, I don’t have feelings for the trainees who debuted together, and it feels like a good choice.

On the contrary, I don’t care about what I am doing, and I feel very comfortable...

In addition, he has been with I have gone through the experience of trainee hyungs being separated, so I’m glad that I won’t have to repeat that experience again.

Just like that, I knew his story would end there.

"Where did you go?"

That day, like any other day, I went to see the children and then returned to the dormitory to take a shower. Facing Shin Hye-hyun who asked the question expressionlessly, he hesitated for a while

"Nothing to hide... Come to think of it, this was the first time anyone asked me"

"What's wrong?"

I asked out of pure curiosity, and an unexpected answer suddenly appeared.

"Everyone said they were going to meet my brother’s girlfriend"

"What?"

I laughed at the completely unexpected answer. To be honest, I thought you couldn't guess where I work, but I didn't expect to receive such a misunderstanding.

"Yes, maybe you think so. Because I didn't ask you, I didn't say it first."

But I quickly accepted that I should tell other trainees something personal. It's natural that I don't know.

I'm doing volunteer activities at a nursery.

"It's not a big deal... because the person who received help from the church in the past was the director of the nursery, and would occasionally help with work."

Hearing his answer, Shin Hye Hyun showed a surprised expression and continued talking.

"Let’s go together next time."

Well, contrary to the stereotypical reaction I expected, he kept saying that he would go too. To be honest, I didn't think he meant it, but he answered in the affirmative.

"What, of course I’m fine, let’s go together."

I just thought he was a kind brother, but after actually talking to him, I felt a new feeling. Just like that, he thought about it randomly and skipped the conversation that day.

"I didn't expect him to really follow me."

He looked at Shin Hye Hyun who didn't know what he was thinking in the subway he often rides. I thought it was just talk, but it was not empty talk. To be honest, it may be because the relationship is not very good. I’m not very familiar with him either, so I’m a little embarrassed.

"But I have always been concerned about my failure to take care of her since I started living as a trainee."

When the topic of conversation naturally changed, he listened calmly to his own words.

"Just do your best under the circumstances of my brother."

"What, that would be nice."

Facing the answer he came back, Li Kangbin just thought about it briefly and ended the conversation.

But what he didn't expect was that when he arrived at the nursery. Looking at him taking care of the children skillfully, there was something magical about him. The feeling.

I always go to places alone, and the people I met in the company come, which itself has a strange feeling. I haven’t even talked to the person a few times.

Although I don’t keep in touch often after my debut, I still spend time with This is how I felt when my former trainee brothers spent time together.

The feeling of sharing their daily lives and fields together. Of course, although there is still a big gap between them and those who have spent several years together.

"However, thank you very much."

I don't know if what I said at the time about liking children was true, but it doesn't matter.

"Actually, I'm very grateful to you. I really didn't expect you to come together."

As soon as he conveyed his frank feelings, he went on to say

"What, because I will keep coming in the future."

There was no expected answer this time. When we were having the conversation, I thought it was just empty words. At this point, I understood. He really meant what he said. Does that also mean that there will be someone to come with in the future?

Hui. Xian, thank you, really.

He looked surprised after hearing what he said. I don’t think he was so surprised at the moment... What he stopped thinking about was later.

He seemed to be staring somewhere... and soon his whole body became weak. fell to the ground

‘……!’

It could be difficulty exhaling, a frown on the face, and irregular, repetitive breathing.

Li Kangbin ran over there without even having time to think about it.

"Brother, it seems like this isn’t the first time I’ve come here."

Once the pain stopped, he said it

"This is not my first time."

The confusing words continued one after another.

But he also spoke with difficulty in a trembling voice, so this sentence did not feel like a joke at all.

Faced with a situation that he did not seem to understand. With a confused expression, Li Kangbin couldn’t ask any more questions.

"I'm not sure yet. Brother, I’ll tell you next time...next time."

And in less than a day, an incomprehensible situation happened again.

A car parked in front of the training center. There was also a suspicious man getting out of it.

He looked at the expression of the man who came to see Shin Hye-hyun. , clearly out of caution. So I thought you wouldn’t follow.……

"I'm sorry-"

He couldn't say no and stopped.

"Hello, Shin Hye Hyun, do you know him?"

Cha Zai Yi's question followed closely. Shin Hye Hyun stood quietly, sighed, and answered briefly

"Maybe."

Seeing him walking forward hesitantly, Li Kangbin reflexively reached out to him.

"Do you really know him?"

"Yes, brother."

Although he doesn't know him well, Li Kangbin can be sure. What he said now is false. But they are not close enough to stop him again.

In fact, this is natural. To Shin Hye-hyun himself, not to the other trainees here. He knew almost nothing.

He only knew what their timbre was like when they sang, or what habits they had when dancing.

For the first time, he felt depressed because he had always kept a distance from other trainees.

That's why. Say it first. A story that I didn’t tell anyone.

I sacrificed my brothers for my dream.

He didn’t look surprised when he heard his pessimistic words. He just listened quietly.

After listening to his words, Shin Hye-hyun was silent for a while and then spoke Got it

"When I was a kid, I didn’t seem to know what I wanted to do, not really sure. Both parents died in traffic accidents, and they didn't fit in well at school."

As if talking about other people's affairs, the tone is indifferent. It seems that he is used to loneliness. The attitude that things of that level are nothing shocked Li Kangbin.

It's just that everyone doesn't like me.

Although it can't be judged just from the surface. to judge a person, but that fact reappeared. On the surface... he was just considered a trainee who worked hard at everything and did everything well.

I thought he was desperately trying to hold on in this hellish reality. He is the only one who has the most trouble. He is convinced that the most tired person here is also him.

At this time, he realizes for the first time that other trainees may also be struggling to survive their own difficult realities.

"Really... it must be lonely."

Maybe more than me.

But that doesn't mean I sympathize with him. Shin Hye-hyun is a person who takes everything seriously. At first glance, he is really a handsome person and looks perfect.

It turns out that my parents who died were both adoptive parents..But his words didn’t end there.

"At first...thrown away, not wanting to treat the person he came to when he needed it as his biological father."

It's like mentioning someone else again, with a numb expression. I don't know how long it will take him to be numb to his feelings.

What's really funny is that at this time, the words that passed by him came to mind again

"I think that’s the best thing that can be done in hyung’s situation."

He also tried his best in a hellish situation that he couldn’t change.

I’m sorry, Hye-hyun.