Dear Young Master, Spare Me Please?

han meixiu ran towards the indoor shooting range area.

once she closed the door behind, she knew that her mind was in a complete mess and her emotions were all over the place.

she needed to divert her attention. she needed to 'escape' for a while. this room was exactly the place that could help her.

every time she's having this kind of emotional and mental stress she would always protect her sanity by diverting first her immediate attention into something else. she would let herself be deceived for a while. when she's a bit ready, she would slowly sort her thoughts carefully or in most cases she would opt to forget.

but since the reality that she found out wasn't something she could forget, the entire process would be different.

she should decide which she would calm down first, her emotions or her thoughts. it could actually be both. but right at this moment, she didn't know what to do except from diverting her attention.

she took her favourite gun and started to concentrate on firing.

she fired once. the sound of the bullet piercing thru the air as it travelled towards its target and the recoil of the gun she was holding gave her a sense of relief but it wasn't enough.

she fired again, and again, and again. the continuous sound she heard and the force her body felt during the time she was firing made her calm down a little. when her concentration heightened and her breathing became surprisingly even, she felt herself was finally calming down.

she tried to fire a few more until she ran out of ammunition.

she tightly closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

feeling the after effect of adrenaline rush, she was slightly trembling and her legs were a bit unstable thus she decided slid down.

'let's face the reality.' she told herself.

she shut her eyes tightly and recalled what she found out.

her mother who was sweet and caring from her distant memories was part of an organization that's been under investigation of the military. she could say that its nature of business was something illegal and probably immoral.

her father wasn't any better.

in short, she's a daughter of a couple wanted by the law.

'great!' she smiled mockingly.

she teared up again. like what other people said that you could choose your friends but not your family. there's nothing she could do but accept that fact.

she actually didn't know how to describe her feelings. she was shock, in denial, wanted to blame someone, ashamed and most of all she's scared.

the last was the most dominant of them all.

she wasn't scared of being singled out and discriminated by other people. she was scared that the 'perfect' liu family would turn their back on her because of this.

she's scared of being rejected by them. she already considered them as her family. if they would eventually shun her, she knew her heart couldn't take it.

liu zijian, no matter how many times he said he wouldn't leave her, he might eventually do it if he needed to choose between her and his family.

who's in their right mind would want someone like her?

what about her best friend? she only has one friend that she could trust wholeheartedly. what if li xiaozhi eventually found out that she's a daughter of an organization her brother was investigating?

no matter which angle she looked, the two of them were bound to stand on the opposite sides.

she knew deep down within that even though she didn't basically grew up with her parents, she could lie to save them.

even though her memories about them were very limited, she still treasured them.

even though she couldn't help herself to blame them, she knew that whatever their reason would turn out to be, she would eventually accept it.

some might criticize her but that's her chosen position. the world might turn upside down but she could never change the fact that she's the sole daughter of han yun xiang and zhang huiling.

she sighed as both her mind and emotions were reaching tranquility.

little by little, she's accepting the fact and she's returning to her usual self.

her worries about how the liu family would perceive her from now on was pushed back on her mind.

since it's only her and her husband, she could delay this concern from the time being.

arriving inn such a conclusion, her mind started to analyze the circumstances surrounding her parents.

her mother joined black.com because of her father. since her father didn't show up the entire time her mother was in the han family's main house, her mother decided to join in order to get answers?

she recalled liu zijian words.

'your father was a member.'

it meant that when she met her father and he helped her, he was no longer part of black.com?

but normally if someone decided to detached himself to a 'shady' organization like black.com, it would normally equate simply to death, right?

was this the reason why her father was hiding?

when he saw the image that wang zinyi wrote, he immediately left and disappeared.

'he went back?'

but that would be suicidal!

she immediately jolted up when she heard the door opened.

liu zijian got worried when the firing stopped.

he originally thought she would go out right away since she already calmed down.

but upon waiting for few more minutes, there was no further movement.

he then decided to open the door to check if she's really doing fine.

when he saw her jerked upon hearing the door opened, he let out a sigh of relief. she seemed a bit normal now.

in dramaturgical perspective, an example of social paradigm, where individual 'acts' depends on his or her audience, liu zijian clearly has two sets of audience - people who are important to him and others.

han meixiu belongs to the first group thus he could not just relax fully until he saw she's okay.

"zijian..." she softly uttered his name.

the second young master liu walked towards her and slowly sat on the floor beside her. he took her hand and guided her head to lean on his shoulder before he asked her a question.

"are you already calm?"

"i think so."

"good." he said as he kissed her head.