Crazy Psychologist

Something disturbing still happened, and Fang clearly realized that he was once again trapped in a dilemma that he wanted to abandon completely.

The consciousness seems to be stuck in the mud, and the body is like cracking clay. One part is trying to stick together, while the other part is struggling in the opposite direction to disintegrate into fragmented decay.

Sometimes, salvation is also a kind of escape, escaping from the deep-rooted fear of death in the heart, turning around unswervingly on the edge of not acknowledging and not facing, running breathlessly under the scorching sun, and shuttling through the world that may collapse at any time. In the cement and stone city, no matter who the other party is, the person whose life is hanging by a thread is the doctor's savior.

Fang Ming hasn't felt like this for a long time. His chest feels tight and his brain is not clear enough.

Because Chu Lin's operation changed from one emergency treatment to two major operations superimposed on each other, it was both physically and mentally draining.

During the few hours he concentrated on fighting the god of death, Fang Ming's attention always maintained a higher standard than full concentration. The full concentration from nerves to muscle tissue formed by years of training. To outsiders, this doctor seemed to be relaxed, as if Surgery is not a difficult skill. It seems to be a common skill that everyone can master after just one look. It is not much more difficult than riding a bicycle or swimming.

This is simply a deceptive illusion. A person who is concentrating does not look tense, nor does it make people feel nervous at first glance, but a deceptive softness and ease. This is because all All the movements meet the strict requirements of the surgery, and the precision brings a deceptive state of relaxation.

In addition to Chu Lin, Fang Ming had three scheduled surgeries that day. The delayed surgery brought a squeezed rest time. After eating a few bites of sandwiches and drinking half a cup of coffee, Fang Ming rushed into the operating room again. , every patient should be fully devoted, this is a habit he has practiced for a long time.

When everything is on the right track and reaches the next shore safely with the passage of time, the patient can believe that the decision to operate is good for his body, and the family puts aside their inner struggle between conservative treatment, drug treatment and surgical treatment. Struggles occur almost every day between patients and their families. Sometimes, even if the operation is successfully completed, patients and their families will fall into a new reincarnation, worrying about the details of the prognosis and worrying that this fait accompli operation will still happen in the future. One day, as a demon, he preyed on the lives of his loved ones. At that time, today's decision became an unbearable weight in his life and became an unforgivable sin when he woke up from a dream in the middle of the night.

People who are unwilling to bear the burden will naturally be unable to make decisions about life.

But no one is stronger than anyone else. It is human nature to shrink back and be indecisive.

But doctors are different. Constantly thinking about these unanswered questions is just a waste of energy. Energy is just another scalpel, which is often more important than the medical skill itself.

Therefore, in addition to fighting in the operating room, good surgeons also have another battlefield, a battlefield that they can only face alone. The enemies are like the fog, groaning and indistinguishable monsters in the Cthulhu mythology. They are invisible. There is no shadow, but there is a huge fear that makes people instantly powerless.

Yes, I don’t know what the enemy is, I just know that the enemy must exist.

In order not to get stuck in the fog and lose his fighting spirit, Fang Ming always concentrated his thoughts on everything that could be concentrated.

These methods are usually effective, or you can hide in a dark bedroom, with curtains that completely cut off the sun's light, like a dark box, and the box may contain death.

The death of a surgeon, sleep—death.

The day's work was not going well, because he had to perform the surgery, so he escaped the endless questioning of his family members.

Although he has accomplished everything well, he cannot relax or let go. He is tired and sleepy. He needs rest and enough sleep to cope with his daily work. Every day is an overload of work and every day requires Facing life and death.

It had been so long since he had had a patient die that he had almost forgotten the nightmare of watching the patient leave, although it was impossible to forget.

The professor did not die in front of him, and he did not personally experience the professor's death process. However, the professor's voice and smile came alive in Fang Ming's mind, and then he announced in a frozen state that death had indeed come.

No one can change the sadness of death. Families fear this sadness and will do anything to avoid exposure to it.

But doctors are different. Doctors sometimes have to rush towards death, pursue it or even rush in front of it to prevent it from happening.

This is a cause that Fang Ming loves and is willing to devote himself to. He hates it as much as everyone hates death, but sometimes he feels that death is like a fish. It keeps trying to catch it and hopes to never touch it. .

The body of the professor who died was very thin. Pancreatic cancer quickly reduced his weight. His originally healthy body was overwhelmed. The thin body was an exaggerated imagination. He did not actually see it, but the image of the dead professor lingered in his mind. Gradually, A frail flower appeared on the body tortured by cancer. The translucent petals bloomed from the abdomen, as pale as autumn chrysanthemums. The life force it released exuded the breath of death due to its haggardness and weakness.

It was the height of spring and it was surprisingly cold inside the house.

Fang Ming wanted to drink a glass of hot water, but fatigue trapped him in place. He couldn't move, and his heart felt stuffy and painful from the unknown force.

Flowers bloomed all over the body, and the professor's face also changed. He recognized that face, it was Chu Lin.

The phone buzzed, interrupting the fear as hot as volcanic lava. Fang Ming picked up the phone and heard Shen Zifeng's voice on the other end.

He handed the patient to Shen Zi for sealing, and he probably had to keep busy among more than ten patients.

Most of the calls at this time were asking Fang Ming to rush to the hospital, and rushing to the hospital usually meant that the patient was in pain and helplessness on the edge of life and death.

"Which patient?" Fang Ming said calmly, suppressing his fear.

"It's Chu Lin." Shen Zifeng's voice was unclear and slightly noisy, and there was the sound of someone arguing behind him.

"What time is it?" Fang sat up, ready to run to the hospital at any time. "How is the situation now? Is the director here?"

Fang Ming had already run downstairs, and his soul had almost arrived at the hospital and beside the patient.

"The director is here, please don't worry."

"Save her back. She can't die. Shen Zifeng, save her." Fang Ming also didn't expect that he would be so afraid of losing a patient.

Shen Zifeng hurriedly shouted: "Don't worry, Chu Lin is awake."