Captive?

"It feels like forever since I last came here." Azalea spoke softly while brushing her fingers against the rose bushes.

"That's because it has been forever since you left." We walked through the paths between the bushes and for a while we just kept walking in random patterns.

"I had to…"

After a while of just walking in silence I decided that it was better to sit down and talk. So we made our way to the garden shed and sat in front of each other.

Although there was a lot I wanted to know. There was just one question I needed the answer to.

"Is this your answer?" I asked her. She nodded, "You're back for good?" She smiled and nodded again.

"Yes."

I took a breath of relief, "What made you come back? Why didn't you come back immediately?" I looked into her eyes, "Why did you make me wait?"

She looked down, "I," She took a deep breath, "I just wanted to confirm that you really cared for our daughter." She looked back at me, "That you were no longer in the shackles of your fear." She let out a small sigh, "When I found out how much attached you had gotten to her I felt so elated. So glad…That's the only thing I wanted. Everything else was trivial compared to this."

Asking her what if I didn't accept Athena would be a stupid question, because I know she would choose her over me, not because she does not love me anymore but because that's how strong that bond is, of a child and parent.

I never would have realized it but now that I've experienced it myself, I know how important your own blood is.

It's a bond that can not be described in any words.

A gentle breeze blew, rustling the leaves and making the roses spread their fragrance around.

I'm not saying I want to lose Azalea. I don't. I want her. I still love her, maybe even more than when she left.

Perhaps it was longing that made it stronger but still, with Athena in my life, many things have become clearer.

I want them both.

"I won't say I've escaped them completely but I can tell you this." I gave her a wry smile, "That I know that my love for her far surpasses the fear. I don't want to lose her, or you."

It only took a moment for tears to form and slide down Azalea's cheek.

Not of sorrow but of relief, amidst which she managed to smile.

The day I met Azalea and up till today. All the time I had, I thought about many things and how I wanted things to be.

All the mistakes we made.

All the things we did intentionally.

And all the things that just ended up happening.

I did not want to dwell on them any longer.

For a long time, I believed I didn't deserve the happiness that was purely for me but if I didn't deserve it, I wouldn't feel so comfortable and happy with it.

I no longer want the past mistakes, minor or major, to affect my decision.

To affect the thing I wanted the most.

I wanted to be happy and I wanted them in my life.

My love and my daughter.

She stood up and ran to me, right into my arms while I sat in my spot with open arms.

I hugged her tight as soon as we came in contact.

It felt so good.

So comforting.

So warm.

I felt the emptiness fill in and snuggled in closer.

Her familiar scent made me relax even more.

How I had missed it...

"I don't want you to leave me ever again." Today, I'll say the things I really want. The ones I've kept in my heart.

"Me too." Her embrace tightened, "I never wanted to leave, but I'm happy I could come back."

"From now on let's face every problem together."

I felt her nod, but then she broke the hug and moved back a bit while still sitting on my legs so that we could face each other, then she gave me another nod.

"I was very happy that day when you came to look for me." She placed her hand on my cheek, "Pleased when I found out you never stopped looking for me." She joined her head with me, "And overjoyed when you came to apologize and make things right." Her lips grew closer to mine, "I still love you, no matter how much time passed, my feelings for you never dimmed."

I kissed her and she returned it immediately.

It felt like ages since I last experienced this bliss.

The euphoric feeling I would trade anything for.