Antidote

Maybe it was lunch.

It may be time to collect the rent.

Maybe I went to the door to buy cigarettes.

It may be that the phone is dead.

...

Before seeing the smoke paper on the table, Cheng Ke could ignore the fact that Jiang Yuduo had countless reasons for not being in the house, but his cell phone had never been switched off, comforting himself, he might be back soon.

Several sheets of cigarette shell paper are now placed on the table. Cheng Ke immediately remembered that when he finished watching the video yesterday, Jiang Yuduo was going to the cigarette shell paper. What's on it.

He immediately understood.

regret.

Why didn't he care at that time!

In addition to giving people business cards, Jiang Yuduo rarely writes things up. Why didn't he care!

Ask a question at that time, take a look, maybe you don't need to face such a scene today!

"Fuck!" Cheng Ke gritted his teeth and scolded again.

After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath for several times, he moved the bed he had moved back to the original version, and slowly arranged the papers on the table one by one.

This is Cheng Ke seeing such words of Jiang Yuduo.

It's big and ugly.

Jiang Yuduo's best-written words were probably his signature on the rent agreement.

Cheng Ke. Sorry.

I'm not letting you pull me. I don't think you can hold it.

There are a lot of food. After eating, you can buy it yourself.

Meow to Chen Qing.

Never give it to him. You help me raise it.

Give him if you don't want to raise.

You are fine. You are really good.

like you.

I'm afraid you will leave before I'm good.

I'm particularly afraid that you will leave before I'm good.

It's been too long for me to get better.

Let me do it myself. You can't wait to leave. It's ok.

Tell Chen Qing that I am gone. It may take a long time to come back. He knows how to deal with it.

I took half of the towel and toothbrush.

Cheng Ke. I like you very much.

I don't know how long you can like it. If you don't like it, just leave.

...

Many, I feel that I have run out of the stack of cigarette shell paper that Jiang Yuduo usually put under the coffee table.

The characters are big and ugly. You can’t write a few words on one sheet. Some of them are neatly written. Some of them are almost impossible to see.

Maybe Jiang Yuduo had never written so many words at such a big age, and the words at the end would be garbled, but every sentence was written with a full stop.

Cheng Ke did not know what time Jiang Yuduo spent, and what mood he wrote so many words in.

He knew nothing.

He hadn't finished reading these cigarette papers. The words on it were so blurred that he couldn't see clearly. He wiped two hardly on his eyes, but the tears quickly refilled his eyes.

He always paid attention to Jiang Yuduo's emotions, but this time he attributed all of Jiang Yuduo's anomalies to self-mutilation and...

Cheng Ke, was your mom shot off together?

"Jaeger-LeCoultre!" Chen Qing's anxious voice came from the window.

Cheng Ke was awakened with a loud voice, quickly gathered the paper on the table, put it in his pocket, and then responded: "Here!"

After quickly entering the bathroom and wiping his face, Chen Qing opened the door with the key and entered the house.

"Why are you here?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Can I not come!" Chen Qing said, "You said something without a word, I will call you again and you won't answer the phone! Calling Sange is turned off again!"

"He..." Cheng Ke bit his lip and glanced at his mobile phone, only to find that Chen Qing called him three times in a row, but he didn't hear it all, "He said he would take a long time to come back, say goodbye You know what to do."

Chen Qing froze for a long time: "Where have you been?"

"I don't know." Cheng Ke said.

"You two quarreled?" Chen Qing asked.

"No." Cheng Ke replied.

"Then why did he leave suddenly?" Chen Qing asked. "He has never been like this."

Cheng Ke suddenly found that Chen Qing's voice was crying, and he quickly looked at Chen Qing: "Qing'er..."

"You said it didn't matter if he suddenly left like this!" Chen Qing's eyes were red, and he glared at him and asked, "Is it related to you! I must get someone angry with me!"

Cheng Ke didn't speak.

does it matter?

Of course it does.

But he did not dare to say it. He could think about it a thousand times or ten thousand times in his heart, in his head, but let him say it, just like pulling imagination into reality, he could not accept it.

Chen Qing stared at him, and the two were so stiff in the middle of the room. Finally, Chen Qing took a chair and sat down, lowering his head and wiping his tears: "Forget it, it doesn't make sense to call you."

Cheng Ke stood still.

"Your face is very ugly," Chen Qing wiped his tears again, "You sit."

Cheng Ke glanced at him, sat down, put his hand in his pocket, and squeezed the stack of cigarette paper tightly.

"Did he leave a message for you?" Chen Qing asked, "Did you say anything?"

"...Nothing," Cheng Ke said.

"Will you come back when you say that?" Chen Qing asked again.

"Say." Cheng Ke nodded.

"Then do you think..." Chen Qing looked at him, "Will he come back?"

Cheng Ke was stunned and turned his head. He didn't expect that Chen Qing would ask such a sentence, and suddenly felt his hands a bit cold.

"Why are you," Cheng Ke controlled his emotions, "Ask so?"

Chen Qing frowned and rubbed his eyes: "I always think that my third brother will leave sooner or later."

Cheng Ke looked at him.

"Sometimes I think he is the same person as us, mixed on the street, he is the boss, took us, and he covered him in case of trouble," Chen Qing voice shook a little, "but sometimes I also I can feel that he is different from those of us, from you, from everyone."

"Really." Cheng Ke said softly.

"He took me as a brother, he was my best friend," Chen Qing said, "We both said everything together, but I know, I told him everything, he didn't tell me a lot of things, It's impossible to tell me in this life."

Cheng Ke rubbed his fingers gently on the cigarette paper.

Chen Qing sat on the side, did not speak again, cried for a while in silence, then went into the bathroom to wash his face.

"He doesn't live in this house, and Sister Qian won't take it back," Chen Qing sat back on the chair and wiped the drops of water on her face. "Would you like to leave the house over there, live here first."

Cheng Ke was stunned for a while, and he hadn't even thought about this in his mind.

"It's not to save money," Chen Qing said. "We still have a bunch of brothers. If you don't know where the third brother has gone, it must be messy. Zhang Daqi has just pressed down there... do you have a relationship with the third brother? In general, everyone can see that if you are here, you can still be stable for a while.

"Well." Cheng Ke responded.

"He helped Sister Qian before, and then I'll do it," Chen Qing stopped, and after a few seconds of silence, he suddenly cried out, loudly, and said while crying, "San Ge also said Nothing..."

"Qing'er, Qing'er," Cheng Ke was confused by his prominent crying, "Don't cry."

"Don't you cry too when you didn't see me!" Chen Qing said while crying, "Your eyes are red when I enter the door!"

Cheng Ke suddenly didn't know how to comfort him.

When it was flat, he would definitely not care anymore, sitting at the most while watching, when Chen Qing finished crying.

But today is not the same. Jiang Yuduo suddenly disappeared in his life. He was not prepared for anything. It was like walking down the stairs without seeing the road for ten thousand times. He suddenly disappeared. Dazed.

Looking at Chen Qing now, it seems like he can still catch a trace of Jiang Yuduo.

"Don't cry," Cheng Ke said. "If he comes back, I heard you're crying like this, so you must scold you for counseling."

"I'm used to scolding," Chen Qing said crying.

Before Cheng Ke thought about the next word of comfort, he suddenly stood up, grabbed two paper towels and pressed his eyes: "Forget me to go back and cry, you have something to call me."

"...Good." Cheng Ke looked at him.

"If he contacts you, tell me the first time." Chen Qing said.

"Sure." Cheng Ke said.

"If he contacted me..." Chen Qing said that he stopped halfway, turned around and walked to the door, and the crying became louder. "Forget him, he must contact you first..."

After hearing that Chen Qing drove away, Cheng Ke froze in the house for a long time.

The room was so quiet that he could not bear it. It was like being covered in jelly. It was clearly daytime. Outside the window were passers-by and neighbors talking, but he could not hear anything.

He got up and walked to the window, standing at Jiang Yuduo's usual standing position, and looked out from the slit of the curtain.

As usual.

Just like when he walked through this small street countless times, the afternoon sun, the cold north wind is no longer so cold, and the dirty trash can...

He wanted to cry.

But he couldn't cry.

Back at the table, he wanted to take out the cigarette shell paper written by Jiang Yuduo and put it back on the table, but in the end he had no courage.

He didn't have the courage to put Jiang Yuduo's words that were somewhat straightforward but full of helplessness before him.

Finally he entered the bedroom, put the cigarette paper under the pillow, and lit a cigarette.

After smoking a cigarette in the backyard, he took out his mobile phone and clicked on the phone book.

Sister Luo.

He didn’t even have time to call the phone number under this name, and the contact in WeChat was only a few simple words before. He didn’t have time to report to Jiang Luo about Sister Luo.

Jiang Yuduo just left.

Simply neat.

No, not necessarily neatly. Jiang Yuduo said goodbye to him yesterday, but he didn't hear it.

Before calling Sister Luo, Cheng Ke called Jiang Yuduo with a hopeless struggle.

The number you dialed...

"Go to your mother." Cheng Ke hung up.

After smoking another cigarette, he clicked on Luo's name and dialed the number.

"Hello?" Sister Luo's voice came from there.

"Hello Teacher Luo," Cheng Ke took a breath, "I am Cheng Ke."

"Hello, Xiao Cheng." Sister Luo said.

"Do you have time now?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Well," Sister Luo's voice was as gentle as ever, "you said."

"That's it," Cheng Ke bit his lip. "This morning...no, this afternoon, Jiang Yuduo suddenly...is gone."

"It's gone?" Sister Luo was stunned.

"It's just...he left me a pile of notes, maybe... afraid of hurting me, he yesterday...recorded a video for me yesterday," Cheng Ke said a little hard, every sentence of this one thing It was like saying a knife in his heart, "His... his self-mutilation, he recorded..."

"Can you send me the video to see?" Sister Luo said, "there is a note."

"Well, I wanted to send it to you, but I didn't have time. I got up today and he...has gone." Cheng Ke felt that he had difficulty breathing and his heartbeat was completely chaotic.

It took him a long time to suddenly find the source of his panic, his voice trembling uncontrollably: "Mr. Luo, hasn't he contacted you?"

"No," Sister Luo said. "I know both my mobile phone number and landline number. I will see if there is any incoming calls from the landline... no."

Cheng Ke's hand braced the wall for a while, but then came a pain in his right wrist. Then he noticed that he was holding the phone in his left hand and his right hand was against the wall.

"Then he might..." Cheng Ke turned and leaned against the wall. "Will he go to you?"

"This is uncertain," Sister Luo said. "We don't know what his mental state was when he left. If he feels nervous and unsafe, he won't believe anyone, including me."

"If he, if he didn't go to you, he just hid," Cheng Ke said softly, "Is he in danger?"

"I have to look at the video and the notes he left before I can roughly judge," Sister Luo said. "According to his previous state, there will be no danger. He will consciously control the degree of his injury, and I said Before, he had no suicidal tendency before."

"Well," Cheng Ke felt that his throat was almost out of voice, "I'll send you all these immediately, if he contacts you..."

"I will inform you," Sister Luo said. "If you relax, he is more likely to contact me."

"Okay, thank you." Cheng Ke said.

After hanging up the phone, Cheng Ke did not delay for a second. He first sent the video to Sister Luo, and then ran to the bedroom. He took out the cigarette paper from under the pillow and arranged the photos.

When seeing the words written by Jiang Yuduo from the camera, Cheng Ke's vision was blurred again.

He sent the photo to Sister Luo, daring not to read the big and ugly words that were almost written outside the paper shell, and put them all together and put them back under the pillow.

Then he dropped the phone and started checking in the room.

Jiang Yuduo's wardrobe is basically intact. He doesn't have many clothes, and he can almost understand it with a few pulls. Except for the set he wore, he only took the jacket that was changed with Cheng Ke.

"Fool!" Cheng Ke gritted his teeth.

But beyond that, what Jiang Yuduo took away, he could not see.

He wasn't enough perverted, he didn't stare at Jiang Yuduo every day, didn't turn around in his house every day and looked around, because he believed Jiang Yuduo, he never thought that there would be such a day.

Obviously, Jiang Yuduo did not believe him.

In other words, Jiang Yuduo does not believe in himself.

I don't believe that I can be "good", nor do I believe that Cheng Ke can stay with him under such circumstances.

"Fool!" Cheng Ke couldn't find any other words to vent his unspeakable, uncomfortable, angry, and helpless feelings that his mother was very worried.

Very vicious.

The saliva sprayed onto the closet door.

He went to take a wet tissue and wiped the door.

Jiang Yuduo does not put wet tissues at home, but Cheng Ke likes to use it, so he bought eight bags yesterday.

After wiping the door, he found that his face was full of tears.

This made him angry, kicked the door, and sat on the edge of the bed.

When Sister Luo called, he glanced at the time, it was five o'clock.

Jiang Yuduo was right, the time could not be passed, and there was no need to pass it at all.

"Ms. Luo, how is it?" Cheng Ke answered the phone and asked anxiously, but after asking, she began to be timid and wanted to hang up before Sister Luo talked.

"I took a look, he shouldn't be too dangerous, the degree is the same as before," Sister Luo said. "The key to his escape this time, or different...it's still about you."

"Escape?" Cheng Ke froze, "How could he escape? He made a lot of determination to face his illness, he took me to see you, and now I have recorded a video to let me see his status quo , How could he escape?"

"He hasn't escaped in this respect," Sister Luo said gently. "He escaped from you, he couldn't disappear in the face of you."

"I won't disappear!" Cheng Ke couldn't help raising his voice, "I said I would be here! I've been here!"

"Xiaojiang is extremely insecure, and such a guarantee can't keep him emotionally stable," Luo said. "He believes that he will hurt you, and he believes that even if it doesn't hurt you, you will not be able to afford it during the treatment. Eventually Will leave."

"He decided that I would disappear, right?" Cheng Ke said.

"It can be said that there is no sense of security, no confidence," Sister Luo said, "It can also be said that he hopes to avoid the process of your disappearance, but these are just some of my current rush judgments, if he can come to find I, after talking to him, I can further understand his ideas."

"He hasn't contacted you yet?" Cheng Ke asked a nonsense weakly, but he knew it was nonsense, but he couldn't help asking.

"Not yet." Sister Luo said.

"I know." Cheng Ke said, "If he contacts you, if you think this sentence is appropriate, please tell me to help him, I will not go anywhere."

I don't go anywhere.

I'm just waiting for my mother here.

When you're done, you want to run. If you want to play with your mother, you will give up! Not so easy!

Don't come back if you have the ability!

If you dare to come back, I will **** dare you to kill you!

Cheng Ke squatted to the ground with his head buried, buried his face in his knees, and then heard the crying that he was suppressing, unpleasantly.