A Song to Escape

River made it out. He clawed, and dragged, and worked his ass off. And he made it out.

He made it out of the world that had been dark and cruel. The place that hold all his demons and ghosts. The place that he wanted to forget but never could. He had been trying to avoid this place as much as he could, he used up all the excuses he could think of. But there's no way to avoid it forever.

"Nervous?" Louise stood by the door of River's dressing room, watching him closely. He looked at River and can't help but think of the boy he met 3 years ago, young but no longer innocent. No, life had dealt him a bad deck, the boy had to learn to survive on his own. But now his luck has turned, now he has the world at his feet.

River shrugged and his manager chuckled.

"They're gonna love you. This is your home, remember."

Home? River doesn't know what home is anymore. Home used to be a little girl with black hair that curled widely around her face. Home used to be two dazzling brown eyes that brightens even the darkest place. A voice that could calm all his shaking nerves. The only light to the darkness that was his life. But that home was taken away many years ago, like everything good he knew then.

"You're on." His manager's words snapped him out of his thoughts and back to the real world.

He stood, taking the water bottle his manager handed him. He walked out of the room and for the first time, he dreaded the long walk from his room to the stage. He had always loved it, hearing the crowd scream his name. Now it feels unnerving, the screams aren't of adoration but of abhorrence.

His heart beat widely in his chest, he tried his best to calm himself.

He shut of all his senses as he took the last few steps. He had to, otherwise he wouldn't be able to face them all. He stepped out into the stage and the roar of the crowd engulfed him. His nerves were starting to settle. His senses turning back on all at once like a switch was flipped and it was raw. He was hit by adrenaline and he knows he can conquer anything.

==

Olivia hadn't been as lucky. She never got out. She thought she did, they all thought she did. But it was temporary. Life merely gave her a taste of a freedom and life that she would never have. Life taunted her with light and happiness only to shove her back to darkness and sorrow where she belongs.

Olivia was working one night when she heard the news of a 22 year old boy who took the world by storm. The rising star is in the middle of his tour. And he was coming to their town. He was coming back.

Olivia just wanted to see him, to have a glimpse of the boy she once knew, of the man he is now.

She snuck in through the back exit where the guard was too busy watching the show to actually be doing his job.

Olivia was petite, had always been. So she moved quite easily through the crowd to get to the front. She ignored the curses thrown at her by the people she passed through. She didn't care, they didn't matter, she was here to see him.

He was in the middle of his concert and all his worries were pushed to the back of his mind, to be forgotten until the end of his concert. She looked at him in awe, it was still him. The same River, his all grown up now but she could still see the little boy in him.

He sang the song he knew so well, the one he'd sang a thousand times before, the one he had written specially for this tour. He was halfway through the song when he saw her.

And suddenly he was 8 again, sitting outside on the front step waiting for mom and dad to stop shouting, seeing the 5 year old girl move in next door. A shy little girl that hid behind her mommy.

And he felt like he had just been born. He didn't realize it then but he knew now that it was that little girl's smile that started his life.

He was 8 and he hid behind the bushes crying as his mom threw and broke everything because his dad left them, him. Crying because his dad didn't love him, nobody did. Then the little girl crawled behind the bushes and sat behind him. She wrapped her tiny, short hands around him, engulfing him in a warm hug that somehow let him know that he was loved.

He was 10, protecting the little girl from her own drunken mother who screamed and cursed at her. Pulling her out of the hell that is her house and into his, going straight to his room because his mother is passed out in the couch from all the white powder she had been inhaling earlier. The little girl tries to smile as tears pooled in the corner of her eyes and they watched cartoons. Finding joy in the simplest of things.

He was 13, crying outside the girls house as they hugged and held on to each other. Her father had found her and is taking her away to a better place. He wiped the tears off her face and forced a smile. His heart breaking from losing the only friend he has, yet he was happy that she can finally escape this god-forsaken life they have. At least one of them did, he thought. After a couple of days his mom died. She lay on the floor on their kitchen, soaked in her own vomit and he was taken away. Maybe it's his turn, maybe now he can escape.

River had completely forgotten about the song, the band that had stopped playing moments after he stopped singing, his manager back stage that was both concerned and furious of the delay, the concert that came to a halt, and the fans who were murmuring among themselves, watching him with wonder.

He didn't see, hear, feel, or know anything but her. It's like the whole world was suddenly muted, everything else was blurred, everything but him and this one person. The dark hair, still wild as it curled and tumbled around her face down to her shoulders. Her eyes, bright and brown they were almost golden, twinkled with recognition and awe. And then, slowly her lips curved into a soft smile, warm and loving. And he was home.

Olivia did not know what to expect upon seeing him. She only wanted to see, not really expecting to be seen. It had been nine years since she last saw him that faithful afternoon her father came for her. She returned 5 months later when her father died of a car accident and she had to go back to her drunk and abusive mother. She returned but he was gone. She wanted to find him, but what can a 10 year old do, really?

Now she stood in front of him, of the boy she knew so well. She watched the man in front of her and there was warmth in her chest, she was happy, proud. He made it out and that was enough for her, at least one of them did.

Her breathe caught when he looked over at her and he stopped. Stopped singing, stopped moving.

There was recognition and disbelief, then there was remembrance.

Her chest became even warmer when she knew he remembers her. And slowly, she smiled up at him.

He didn't think, he didn't have to. He just acted. Like it was the most natural thing to do. He jumped off the stage, walked up to her and grabbed her. They ran as fast as they could, like they used to do when they tried to get away from the women they call mothers. Everyone in the concert was too stunned to react, to move, to follow.

She led him to the house she had been staying at for 14 years, since that day they met. Her mother is probably in one of the local bars drowning herself with alcohol and won't be home until they close tomorrow morning. She walked through the hallway into her room holding his hand. Her heart was beating widely in her chest. She could feel the warmth from his hand, she could see the tension in his eyes. They stepped into her room and his eyes grew dark. He closed the door and locked it behind him, keeping away the world outside.

The first touch of their lips was an explosion. It was powerful and all consuming. It hit hard, knocking the breath out of them. And then the initial shock of the contact wore off and what's left is the tingling.

"You've grown" She smiled warmly as her eyes gazed at his face, like she was trying to see everything, to see all the changes in his features that she had missed.

"So have you" River retorted.

They chuckled and both sat on the floor by the bed.Then they talked, talked about their lives, sharing everything like they used to do when they were kids. Pouring everything out, every joy, every pain, struggles. They didn't notice the time passing them, they didn't care. River turned his phone off after ignoring dozens of calls from his manager. Too busy making up for the nine years they've lost.

"I'm sorry." River whispered as he hugged Olivia.

"For what?"

"For not coming back for you." Tears were pooling in the side of his eyes.

"You didn't know I was back here. You couldn't have known." Olivia stroked his head, trying to soothe him.

River stood up and faced the window, turning his back to Olivia, trying to hide the tears that threatened to fall. Olivia stood in front of him, wiping away the tears that now fell to his cheeks.

Seeing his tears filled her heart with so much love for this man that was once her savior. The brave little boy who has always there for her, to defend her from her own mother, to make her happy when the whole world just seems so harsh. At that moment she felt so much affection for him. It was overwhelming.

She crushed her mouth into his and kissed him, giving all the love she had.

He was surprised, taken a back. He stepped back and looked at her for a moment, seeing nothing but love in her eyes he stepped closer and cupped her face as he leaned in to kiss her.

It was gentle at first, slow and loving. And suddenly it felt like it wasn't enough, he moved closer, his body pressing on hers. He wanted more, it was like she was water and he haven't drank for years, he was thirsty for her. She was the one to break the kiss, looking at him, her eyes were darker, matching his.

His hand moved to her shoulder, to the strap, just lightly touching it. He was looking intently at her, asking. She nodded slightly.

He slid one strap of the sundress Olivia was wearing off her shoulder, then the other, and he watched as she moved to let the fabric fall and pool around her feet. He reached around her and unhook her bra, then slid off the straps and let it fall to the floor. He knelt in front of her and slowly run his hands up her thighs.

His rough hands felt good on her smooth thigh and she shivered under his touch. His hands roamed around her waist up to her abdomen before his fingers hooked on the waistband of her underwear. Slowly, he pulled them down, enjoying the sensation as his hands roamed her thighs once again. Then he stood and looked at the girl who was always his refuge.

She was beautiful, no doubt, the little girl he knew had definitely grown. Her body curved at the right places. She was perfect.

Olivia stood in front of the man who had always been her saving grace, her protector. She stood bare, and naked, and vulnerable, yet she felt strong. The look he has as he watched her gave her confidence. With him, she has nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of.

He stepped closer and leaned in, capturing her lips in a tender caress. His hand held her head as a support while the other roamed her body. Her hands grasped his hair, holding on tight like it was life itself.

They opened their mouth and their tongues met, dancing. The explored each other, tasting, savoring.

Her hands went to the hem of his shirt, lifting it up. He shrugged it off and hastily threw it on the floor. His mouth moved from her mouth to her jaw, to her neck, trailing sweet kisses. He found a sweet spot at the side of her neck and he sucked and licked.

She rolled her head back giving him more access to her neck as her hand unzipped his jeans. Then she undid the button and he helped her push down his jeans. It pooled around his feet and he stepped out of it, quietly guiding her towards the bed.

He laid her on the bed gently, hovering on top of her. He wanted to taste her, all of her. His mouth moved all over her, kissing, licking. Leaving a trail of warmth where his lips touched her skin. His lips captured one of her nipple and sucked as his hand caressed the other. She arched her back, pushing herself to him.

His mouth continued in its mission to taste all of her and he was leaving trails on her abdomen. His lips went to her waist, down to her thigh, to her feet, then to the other, then made its way up back to her waist.

She felt something quiver deep below her belly. It was foreign to her, yet she welcomed it like air to her lungs, like light to her life. In her young life she had never had such a need like she does now, she never knew of the throb, the need that is growing deep inside her. And suddenly the pace they were at wasn't enough for her.

She clutched his hair, pulling him up so her lips meet his. She crashed into him, hard, hungry.

River was stunned with the sudden intensity but he immediately caught up. He kissed her back with as much fervor, if not more. Her hands roamed his body, eager to touch everything. He lowered his hips on her and she gasped as she felt him between her thighs, hard and wanting, the fabric of his boxer the only thing separating them. He heard her moan and he moved on top of her, creating friction.

His hands made his way between her thighs and stroked her. She chewed on his lower lip as she tried to keep the scream building inside her. She had never known this feeling before, it was addicting.

Her hips arched, pushing herself to him, craving his touch more. He found her entrance and teased it with his finger. She was wet, she was ready. Slowly, he inserted a finger and she let out a whine as the sensation hit her. He moved his finger around then pulled it out only to put two fingers back in.

"I..River. I want y-you." She whispered in his ear. Her breath hot and sticky in his skin.

He pulled out his finger and looked at her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he knew this would be her first. He felt it. He wanted to be sure. He wanted to know that she was ready, that it isn't just the lust talking, that she wouldn't regret anything after. As an answer, she pushed her hips closer to him. She grabbed his face and kissed him hard.

That was all he needed. He kissed her with all the passion he had, his tongue roamed her mouth hungrily.

She felt him pull away and then the weight on top of her was gone. The chill hit her as soon as the warmth of his body was gone. For a moment she was confused then she saw him pull out a small square foil from his jeans pocket. She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly, does he always carry those around in his pocket? He shrugged and got rid of his boxers.

He stood before her with all his glory and her eyes widened a bit. He looked down at his length and couldn't help the smugness forming in his face. He ripped the foil open and secured himself with the rubber.

He once again placed himself on top of her, trailing wet kissed on her body. He went down to her torso, then lower, and lower.

His tongue teased her opening like his finger did earlier and she felt that same quiver. He licked and sucked and she pushed herself into his expert tongue. Then his fingers were inside her again, prepping, widening, preparing her for what's to come. He pulled his fingers out and hovered above her, watching her face.

"Open your eyes, look at me." He whispered. And she did.

Then lowered himself into her. It was just the tip of the head at first, then slowly he entered. Her eyes shut tight with the pain and tears fell at the corner.

"Do you want me to stop?" his breathing was rugged, voice raw and husky.

She shook her head no. she couldn't speak/

"Look at me. Keep your eyes open. Just look at me." he urged. She opened her eyes and stared straight at his eyes.

He pushed down and soon he was totally inside. She fought to keep her eyes open as the pain shot through her. He kissed the corner of her eyes, kissing the tears away, he planted soft kissed on her cheeks, on her lips as he waited for the pain to disappear. He didn't dare move.

She moved under him and he knew she was okay. He moved inside her and she wrapped her arms around him. He slowly pulled out then he was in again. He repeat the motion slowly and then she demanded more, it wasn't fast enough, hard enough, deep enough. She wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him more access. He was moving harder now, faster. Her nails digging into the skin at his back.

They moved together, body on body, heat rolling around them. They were building and building until she could no longer fight it and she fell, exploding as she screamed his name like a prayer. Muscles tightening around him.

Her voice was all he needed, his trigger, and with her, in her, he come undone.

==

River woke up tangled with the woman he loved. He always had, and now he knows. The air smelled of sweat and sex but he didn't mind. He looked down at the woman that always been his light.

Olivia felt him move, she was sprawled on him, her head laying on his chest that she could hear his heartbeat. She looked up to see River looking at her.

"Come with me." he whispered.

"What? Where?" she was confused. Was he going? Was he supposed to be somewhere else? And for a moment she was hurt. Is it over? Is he leaving after what they've done?

"Anywhere. Everywhere." He sat up and looked Olivia in the eyes. "Come with me to the tour. Be with me. Stay with me." His eyes boring into her as he tried to communicate the depth of his question.

And then she understood. She nodded slowly, tears rolling down her cheeks. He kissed her gently for a while. And then he felt the blood rushing to the middle of his thighs, Olivia felt something under the blankets and she laughed. River rolled her over and is now hovering above her once again. He smiled as he trailed kissed along her neck down to her torso.

==

The next morning they walked hand and hand as they made their way to face River's team.

They had to face the angry manager, the confused team, and the disappointed fans, but they couldn't seem to find it in them to be scared, nervous, worried.

Because as they walked hand in hand, basking in the love and light that surround them. They know, they both made it out.